Grass should stay food for food, he announced. You will never grow big and strong eating food like that.
Khollo shrugged. “Bread is good for humans. I wouldn’t expect a dragon to care for it though.”
And this dragon doesn’t, Kanin confirmed. It is stuck in my fangs. The dragon scratched at his teeth with a long claw, trying to rid himself of the annoying residue.
On the eighth day, after Khollo had stitched the hides he had accumulated into a rough mattress shape and stuffed them with ferns and moss, the pair sat on the ledge outside their hold, looking down at the jungle. The two levels below them had been cleared of plants now and Khollo was starting to appreciate how impressive the stronghold would have been. There were still two more levels, the largest ones, above them that needed clearing though, and buildings across the valley besides.
Khollo leaned back against one of Kanin’s scaly forelegs. The young warrior had eaten well that night. He had grilled strips of meat from Kanin’s most recent kill and rolled them in a very flat version of his homemade bread. The result had been a greasy but delicious meal, probably the best he’d had since coming to the island.
“A good day’s work,” Khollo observed. “We’ll have this place sorted out in next to no time.” He thought for a moment. “Might be able to go back to exploring soon, now that we don’t have to spend all day gathering food and building up our supplies.”
And finding a way back to the other land? Kanin asked.
Khollo shrugged. “Eventually.” He still had no desire to risk another encounter with Ezraan, and suspected that if he went to the library of the Keepers this was exactly what would happen.
I do not understand something, Kanin said slowly.
Khollo smiled. The dragon often began conversations this way, usually following with a question about human ways or curious aspects of the natural world.
“What don’t you understand, Kanin?”
Kanin shifted, scales scraping over the stone. When we first came here, you wanted to go back immediately, to help your friends and kill vertaga.
Khollo nodded. “Yes.” He frowned, realizing that he hadn’t thought about his friends at the West Bank once that day, or the peril they faced.
But now you have no wish to return.
Khollo shrugged uncertainly. “I want to go back eventually,” he said. “But we can’t right now. We don’t know where we are or which direction to fly – ”
We could figure out which way to fly, but we don’t, Kanin interjected. We know where the information we need is, but we do not seek it.
“What is your point?” Khollo growled. Where is this going?
I am confused, Kanin said. You say you want to go back but you seem content to stay here forever.
Khollo frowned. He still meant to return to the West Bank with all speed. Didn’t he?
He quickly added up the days since the attack on the vertaga fortress. Let’s see, ten days on the island, maybe two traveling . . . right around two weeks away from the Renlor Basin. A long time. To get back we’d need food, water, directions . . . I’ve already started on the food and water.
Another thought elbowed its way into his mind. Did I do that in preparation to return, or in an effort to build up a long-term supply for us on the island?
And then, a terrifying answer became immediately apparent. “I don’t know,” Khollo muttered.
Hmm? Kanin asked, tilting his head curiously.
“I don’t know what it is I want,” Khollo murmured. “This place, we are connected to it and it is peaceful and prosperous. We could live our lives out in comfort restoring the stronghold of the Order and learning its secrets.” He frowned. “But there are people we can and should help where we came from.”
And yet we do not go back. Why not?
Khollo pushed to his feet and paced to the edge of the ledge, where he stood gazing out towards the mountains in the West. “Because I’m afraid,” he whispered finally. He swung around and looked back at Kanin.
“I am lost and afraid. I’ve been betrayed and abandoned my entire life, and just when I think everything is starting to fall into place again, something new hits. A war with the vertaga when I had accepted my lot as a cadet. My uncle, revealing who he was after ten years. Finding my father on a deserted island when he was supposed to be dead.” Tears stung Khollo’s eyes. “That is why I feel lost. I don’t know who or what I am. And I am afraid that I have the same weakness as my father. The same cowardice.”
Kanin made no reply for several moments. Then, he dipped his head, blinking slowly. What makes you think of your father as weak and cowardly?
“He abandoned me!” Khollo shouted, his throat burning. “He left me, and didn’t return!”
Yet you do the same, whether you realize it or not, Kanin pointed out gently.
Khollo started to protest, then stopped.
Your father let his fear keep him from coming home, Kanin continued. You must overcome your own doubts if we are to help your friends.
Khollo turned away. “What about your dreams of rebuilding the Keepers?”
The island has waited centuries. It can wait a little longer, Kanin replied. I am content now that I have seen the land of my ancestors and hunted its plains. Flown above its mountains and explored its jungles. And there will be time for
