Holiday sang that she was a good girl, but her love was all wrong. Eva started rubbing her legs furiously, and it felt good. It was about circulation. She just needed to improve her circulation. That’s why making love to Hans always helped. That’s why walking over to Maggie’s new home would be good. She’d do it, soon. Maybe even without calling first. But first, she’d write her sister.
Chapter 25
Dear Liezel,
As you know, Maggie has a job and an apartment (which I haven’t visited yet but will very soon), and in many ways, she overwhelms me with her maturity and her responsible nature. I think she got a job teaching within two weeks of being here. The apartment hunting took a bit longer, which was fine with Elena. In fact, I think Elena will miss the company. She pretends to like her artistic solitude, but really she’s a boisterous, social person who liked having them around more than she’d admit. They also helped her with the rent. Did you know that? And Elena greatly appreciated that. She doesn’t make much selling her work or handling Hugo’s estate and occasionally picks up work at a friend’s tavern. Of course, she also gets some money from the government. Even in West Germany, they support their artists. And she’s gotten some grants. She is doing well.
But enough about my daughter. I am writing, of course, to you about Maggie.
I did not want to agree with you about her boyfriend, Tom. I wanted to like him, or at least think he wasn’t so bad as to worry about Maggie. And I cannot say, honestly, that I worry about Maggie. She is a tough one, a smart one. Tom seems to rely on that, and perhaps it isn’t the healthiest relationship, but I can only imagine Maggie coming out of it even stronger than she is. But I have given myself away here—saying that she will come out of it. Unfortunately, I don’t think either you or me will have much influence on when or how, but I do think she’ll get out just fine. And I will add that I do hope the sooner the better.
But you should be proud of her. She is beautiful, smart, and a survivor. How many broken hearts have we suffered? Particularly in our youth? And with young people now, it is even more common.
Their new apartment is very near mine here in the former GDR. I am a bit surprised they chose here, but it is cheaper, and I believe it is a very big space.
I tell you all this not knowing if Maggie is in touch with you herself. I gather not, from what you and she tell me. I also tell you everything feeling that I haven’t broken her confidence. Nor do I want to be anything but a good sister to you. You may not believe that, but I do.
I say this, and immediately what comes to mind is my leaving you, when Vati remarried. I know I had no choice, but you didn’t know that. You were a child. And even though I had no choice, I still felt horrible about it. But you must know that.
I also want to be someone your daughter can trust. Sometimes I wonder if my love for your daughter is my desire to make it up to you, to repair what I fear I irreparably broke. On the other hand, I worry you think I am trying to come between you and Maggie. And hurt you more.
My intentions are good, and I think I can be a help to you both.
I hope all is well for you. Please write back when you can.
In Liebe,
Deine Eva
Chapter 26
It was a Saturday, early in the day for Eva; she had planned to wake up early enough to still have motivation. She had decided to stop by Maggie and Tom’s. It had been nearly three weeks since the night out at Café Einstein. She’d spoken to Maggie once on the hall phone. Maggie had said, “I’m off Saturdays. Stop by anytime.” Finally, Eva was going to do it. It was past time for a visit.
The day was oddly gorgeous. The gray streets almost seemed bright with sun, the air was sharp, but not painfully so. It was as if spring had come two months earlier than usual. She carried a parcel of chocolates and pastries that she had picked up the night before. She had wanted everything taken care of beforehand. So often, something derailed her. Her weak nerves, her painful legs, her generalized fear, her melancholy. How many days had passed when the only thing she could do was listen to her records and pray? It took all of her energy to prepare for this outing.
And then, parked in front of her building was Hansi in the Cadillac, talking on a phone in his car. It was the most absurd thing she’d ever seen. A phone in a car? She’d seen such things, sometimes, walking down the Ku’damm. Her heart began pounding. Her Hansi was so full of surprises.
She walked up to the car and by pressing a button, Hans rolled down the window on the passenger’s side. This startled Eva, and she tripped slightly, falling onto the car. Her face reddened.
“Hans, was machst du hier so früh?”
“Eh? Steig ein.”
“Ich muss zu meiner Nichte. Ich kann das nicht schon wieder verschieben.”
Eva didn’t flinch, even though she wanted to. If she didn’t go see
