“The Lancasters found out. I did not know how at the time. I still don’t. Not for certain. I thought Edward had told someone else and it had slipped his mind. But they found the boy and his mother and killed them. I was with Edward when he found out. ’Twas one of the more harrowing times in my life. Edward was like a father to me and to see him so agonized day after day, night after night…I swore to him never to give my support to the Lancasters.”
She believed him. He hated the Lancasters. He’d never stop. “Why are you telling me this particular story?” she asked him, filled with anxiety over who she really was.
“Because after spending the day around Richard, I know you are wondering why I still give him my support.”
“You’re right. I had been wondering that. I asked Elia. She told me about your family. You have my sympathies, Nicholas.”
“I see you two shared many tales today,” he said quietly.
“I like her.”
“Aye. She is like a mother to me,” he admitted.
Kes smiled at him. She didn’t want to get Elia in trouble for telling her too much.
“So you think Richard had something to do with informing the Lancasters?”
“Mayhap,” he told her. “Many accusations fall on him and there is never any proof. I have to wonder if he could have done all these terrible things or if he is just easy to blame because there is so little likable about him. All I know is that I regretted fighting for him after the princes disappeared. I’ve regretted it every day since. I try to remain loyal to the House of Plantagenet and I deny my regret because ’tis treason.”
Kes covered his hand with hers. “Treason to a king who leaves a trail of death behind him on his way to the throne. Does he deserve your loyalty?”
What was she doing? She shouldn’t be treading these waters. Not when Nicholas especially could change history.
“Let’s talk about something else,” she suggested before he answered and gave his hand a rub.
“All right. But this time, you shall tell me something about yourself,” he insisted.
“But I like how your voice sounds rumbling into me.”
He rested his forehead on the back of her head. “No. Begin.”
“You’re so bossy!”
“If bossy means threatening and unbeatable, then you are you correct.”
She laughed. “It doesn’t mean that. But wow, you’re arrogant, too.”
He sat up straight. “What is arrogant about knowing I’m unbeatable?”
She shook her head. “No one is unbeatable, Nicholas.”
He bent to whisper in her ear. “I am, my lady.”
“Now,” he sat up straight and boomed in the quiet forest, sending critters scattering. “Tell me about you,” he demanded, but in a much quieter voice. “Something no one else present or future knows.”
She thought about it for a minute or two. She knew what it was. It knotted her belly and filled her days with guilt. Not these days, but the ones in her past…Nicholas’ future.
“I have felt envious of people I know that seemed to have good relationships with the one they love. I told myself it was only a matter of time before they were in the gutter with the rest of us. I overcompensated by buying them extra lavish housewarming gifts, saying extra nice things to them, kissing their rears as if some of what they had would rub off on me.”
She laughed awkwardly. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
“We all need to lay down our burdens sometimes,” he told her quietly, as if he understood. Maybe he did. Then he asked, “Would you ever damage one of your friend’s relationships because of this envy?”
“No. Never.”
“Then there is hope for you yet,” he announced then drew closer all around her. “Though you had me worried for a moment.” They laughed against each other’s bodies. He moved his lips over her ear. “I can make you the envy of everyone you know.”
“Oh?” she teased, almost purring at him. “How can you do that?”
He kissed her lobe. “By giving you a good relationship.”
She wanted to giggle and then to cry. His words and his close proximity released a thousand butterflies in her belly. But was it wise to develop a relationship with him? What if she popped out the same way she popped in? What if she was here for good and some other woman came into Nicholas’ life…or worse, he died in battle?
“I would like that,” she heard herself say before she could stop it. A good relationship. Did it make going into the fifteenth century to find one worth it? “But I’m afraid. I know this century, and I don’t want to be here.”
“You will not be happy if you stay then.” He lifted his arm off her and took the reins in both hands. “We should not push ourselves into something because of Richard.”
“Is that what we were doing?” she had to ask. Was that all this was to him? She was madly attracted to him. Was he not to her?
“Where is the hope for us?” he asked her, sighing at the moon peeking through the treetops. “I never thought I would care about such a thing with a woman. I am twenty and seven. Not a young man.”
She turned to look up at him, catching quick glimpses of him when moonlight shone through the trees. “You’re young enough.” Her breath warmed his chin.
“Young enough for what?” She could hear his smile in his voice, slow, sensuous. Then the treetops parted and she saw it.
“To possess the…” He heated her blood. “…stamina to do what you claim you can do.”
“You tempt me to show you, Kestrel.”
She wished he would. But he shouldn’t. He couldn’t, and he knew it.
“You pain me, lady,” he whispered into her hair. “We are almost there.”
He caught himself and pulled back on the reins. She was grateful because she wouldn’t have done it. He was all-consuming and sensual.
