“About what?” he closed his eyes and leaned his back against the trunk.
“Us,” she clarified.
“I like us,” he admitted, closing his arms around her.
“So do I. But if troubles come, I would rather you weren’t associated with me.”
“’Tis too late for that.”
He peeked down at her resting on his chest and belly. She wrung her hands together. He wanted to kiss her again. “Did you worry this much in twenty nineteen?”
“Not on this level of seriousness. I thought worrying about paying the bills was hard. I—” She stared at him. Her eyes opened wider. “Nicholas, you believe me.”
“Aye. Aye,” he repeated more softly. “But I wish I did not.”
“Why?” she asked, her voice as soft as a sigh.
“Because you want to go back.”
More silence. He didn’t push.
“But, of course,” he said, “now I wish to know what will—”
“No. I can’t—”
“You will, Kestrel,” he insisted. “Was it ever proven that Richard killed the princes?”
“No, Nicholas. It was never proven.”
“Were they found?”
She looked away and then tried to get up. He grabbed her wrist, stopping her.
“Please, tell me what you know.”
Her big blue-green glassy eyes stared into his. She regretted having to tell him. “The bones of two small boys were found in the Tower in the sixteen hundreds. It was believed at the time that the bones belonged to the princes.”
“No,” he groaned, letting her go. “I had hoped…”
She drew him into her bosom and held him while he grieved the boys. His little brothers.
“Who did it, Kestrel?” he asked, withdrawing to look at her. “You must know.”
“I don’t,” she promised.
“The people of the future sound very clever. Is there no way to tell who killed the princes?”
“Nicholas, we don’t even know for sure if the bones belonged to them. They were buried after they were found. No one is sure where. There was no time to test them.”
“Their graves were not marked,” he said, tormented by the news.
“No,” she whispered, sounding heartbroken for the poor children, and for those who loved them.
“I was not there for them,” he said, telling her, and only her, his deepest regret while held in her arms. “I wish I had been. ’Twas why Edward did not make me their Protector. I was always away fighting for the House of York. I would seldom be here to help guide them. I could die at any time. But I did not die. And those battles could have been won without me. Even if we had lost because of my absence, the boys would be alive today and Edward V would be king.”
He felt the sting of his tears and let them fall. “’Tis my fault they are dead.”
“Nicholas, that isn’t true,” she comforted. “Did their father love them?”
“Of course.”
“And yet he made Richard their Protector?”
“He trusted his brother. So did I!”
“So, if he did this, then he fooled you all. Why would the thought cross your mind that Richard was busy having the princes declared illegitimate? No one suspected him of evil against the children. Not even his brother. There was no reason for you not to go fight and do your duty.”
“Aye,” he whispered. “Then to return and discover that Richard was the king and the boys were gone, I have pain and wrath deep inside of me toward Richard. Sometimes…I…I hope he dies in battle.”
“Nicholas—”
“But that would be the end of the House of York. Everything I have fought for my entire life.”
“Yes,” she said in a low voice. “I understand. We should be getting back.”
No. Back to what? Richard? Reg? Eating alone in his solar? He closed his arms around her waist. “What is the hurry, Kestrel?” He didn’t wait for her answer but lay her across the crook of his arm and bent over her. “You are the only person with whom I care to spend my hours.” His lips descended on hers in a kiss that curled her toes and set both their hearts to healing.
Chapter Fourteen
Kes let herself relax against Nicholas’ chest and closed her eyes on the way to Old Walter’s. She knew the merchant probably hadn’t found anyone to help them yet. She just wanted to go and have another look at everything. She also wanted to ask him how he came about owning such rare treasures.
It was a wonderful day for letting the wind carry them, as Nicholas had suggested.
The afternoon sun was shining brightly, drenching Nicholas’ dark hair in light.
What better way to travel than in the crook of the rock-hard arms of a handsome knight, resting on his solid thighs and broad chest? She was tempted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming all this. It was dangerous, sure, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from exploring whatever she could.
Was she ready to explore the heart of a warrior? Nicholas was offering it to her. Did she accept it along with loyal love to her alone? She didn’t think he would cheat. If it had taken him his whole life to reach out for her, he wasn’t going to reach out to anyone else anytime soon. And that was what she wanted. What she thought she would never find.
He’d opened up to her and let her comfort him—and then he’d kissed her senseless. Oh, he made her want to climb upon him and drive him mad with desire. But she finally had a guy who didn’t push, didn’t force. She didn’t want to have sex with him…yet. She wanted to do things differently this time…since she had been given the chance. She wanted to get to know him first. And he seemed fine with that.
She was falling in love with him and ignoring all the red flags and warning alarms going off in her head. She heard nothing but the deep cadence of his voice. She thought of nothing and no one else but him whether she was eating, sleeping or convincing the scullery maids
