Go away, that was what he was telling me. He was telling me that I had fucked up, and he was giving my problems to Konrad to un-fuck until he needed me for something he was sure I wouldn’t fuck up again.
Or was he?
Perhaps he was worried that I was starting to lift rocks that he didn’t want lifting, and looking at what was underneath them.
Assume we know everything, and you’ll never be caught out in a lie that might hang you.
Did he know where I had been that afternoon, and who I had spoken to? Now that I knew who Sasura had once been, that seemed more and more likely. There was no way he wasn’t watched, and I remembered how concerned he had seemed to be about his own footmen eavesdropping on his conversations the first time I had met him. That made a lot more sense, now that I knew the details of his past in the Queen’s Men.
I could only hope I hadn’t got the old rogue in trouble by going to his house, but then we were family now so I supposed that could be explained away to a point. Even so, if Vogel even suspected what he had told me it was no wonder I was being effectively kicked out of the city in disgrace.
I knew one thing, though: if Vogel ever learned that I was starting to suspect what I was, I would swing from the hangman’s rope.
There was no doubt about that at all.
Chapter 40
We were on the road the next morning, Bloody Anne and Rosie and me, Billy and Oliver and Emil. I had left Fat Luka at the Bountiful Harvest to mind my affairs in Dannsburg, and Beast to mind him. I didn’t think any of us were that sorry to be leaving the capital by then, and the bombing of the inn had made it an even easier decision to make than it would have been anyway.
‘I can see Mina again!’ Billy had exclaimed when I told them we were going home, and I saw the wry smile cross Anne’s face and make her long scar twitch with amusement.
It would be well to stay away from their bedroom door of a night for the first few weeks, I thought. Young love was a powerful thing, after all. I remembered some lasses I had known when I was a young lad growing up in the Stink, and I knew just how he felt. Even so, that only made me think of the Princess Crown Royal and the young Grand Duke of Varnburg, and their betrothal, which had been publicly announced the morning we left the city.
We had departed a scene of celebration, a carefully orchestrated display of public joy and patriotism. There had only been two bombings that morning, that I heard of, and barely twenty of the common folk dead. That was counted as a good day, in those times we lived in.
No, on balance I wasn’t sorry to be leaving Dannsburg at all.
We rode for Ellinburg, and every mile we put between us and Dannsburg felt like a cleansing. It was a long journey and I won’t record the details of it here, as truthfully nothing of great note happened on the road, but suffice it to say that nine days later we rode into Ellinburg as the early winter sleet was starting to turn into snow. We had sent Emil ahead on our fastest horse to let our people know we were coming, so when I returned to the house off Trader’s Row I was welcomed by Salo and Cook with open arms. The fire was burning in the drawing room, there was brandy on a tray and hot food and hot baths both waiting, vying for my immediate attention after the long ride. I very much needed both. Probably it was the soldier in me, but I chose the food first. Billy chose Mina.
He had thrown himself into Mina’s arms the moment he was through the door, and I hadn’t seen either of them since. It didn’t take a great degree of cleverness to know what they were doing, filthy from the road though he was.
That made me smile. Anne and Rosie had taken themselves off to Chandler’s Narrow to have some time together, and Oliver and Emil had headed down to the Tanner’s Arms to see the other lads and pay their respects to my aunt. All seemed well, but of course it fucking well wasn’t.
No, no, it was very much not well at all.
I put my knife down for a moment and rubbed my temples, and took another sip of brandy. I was alone in the small dining room save for a single footman who insisted on hovering over my left shoulder even though I had sent the other servants out of the room at the first opportunity I had got. This wasn’t Ailsa’s household now but mine, and formality made me deeply uncomfortable. It still does, to be fair, even now. I think it’s something you have to grow up with, to ever be truly comfortable with, and eating outnumbered by servants is something I greatly dislike.
‘My
