“Thank you, Gerick,” Lilly said, taking back over the conversation. She didn’t want to give the impression he needed to speak for her. “At the end of the grieving month, we will reconvene and discuss how we will move forward as a people. I will also address our alliance with the Canis lupus and the other races that have banded together to stand against the Order.
“I assure you, I have the best interest of our people at heart. Yes, I consider you my people. Just because I am a sprite, it doesn’t affect how I feel about the warlock race. I became one of you when I fell in love with Cypher and took him as my mate. That doesn’t change because my beloved mate and your respected king is no longer with us.” She met the eyes of every clan leader and let that statement settle into their minds. “Please, stay and enjoy my hospitality as long as you wish before heading back to your own clans. Mourn now in whatever way you see fit. We all share in this grief, but everyone handles it differently. I appreciate so very much that you took the time to be here and that you stood with us during the Blood Moon ceremony.”
Everyone at the table rose as one. They placed their fists over their hearts and bowed to her, even Lysander. Lilly took that gesture as her chance to leave without it seeming rude. She turned, head held high and shoulders back, despite the weariness caused by her grief. The queen kept her pace slow and measured as she walked away, even though everything in her wanted to run—to run away and never stop. Maybe, if she could run fast or far enough, she could eventually leave behind the continual anguish in her soul. The grief within her was a living entity, and it seemed determined to kill her. But she wasn’t afraid of that. She would welcome it. The moment the thought crossed her mind, Lilly felt guilty. She still had Jacque, Slate, Jen, Sally, and all the others that had become her family and loved her so much. They would be devastated.
As she made her way back to her chambers, Lilly took slow breaths and fought oncoming tears. She was sick of crying, and yet it seemed to be the only thing her body knew how to do anymore. Stumbling, the queen burst into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her. She leaned her back against it then slowly slid to the floor. The slits on the side of her long, fitted dress allowed her to bend her knees, and she pulled them up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and bowed her head.
Lilly’s heart pounded in her chest, and her breath came in short, rapid bursts. “Why can’t I get this under control?” she asked the empty room—the room where she’d once shared laughter and love with Cypher. She could practically hear him.
“You’re going to be okay, beloved.” His voice filled the room just as hers had done.
Her head snapped up. Cypher was there, sitting on the love seat across the room from her. What the … ever … loving … hell? She’d seen him in the great hall, but Lilly had assumed she’d been hallucinating. She imagined her mind had conjured Cypher up as a coping mechanism because she was so freaking nervous. But now, here he was, in their room, seemingly in the flesh. “I know you’re not real,” she whispered as she stared at him through tear-filled eyes. “You’re gone.”
“I am,” he agreed.
Not very helpful. Why couldn’t he say, “No, you’re wrong. I am real, and I’m back here with you?”
“You’re a figment of my imagination,” Lilly said.
Cypher shrugged. “I am whatever you need me to be. For now, I’m here.”
“Are you … his soul?” The idea seemed ludicrous. But the only other alternative was that Lilly was going completely nuts, like, certifiable, accompanied-by-documentation, off-her-rocker, nuts. She couldn’t accept that, not when so many people depended upon her. But she could accept that her magical bond with Cypher hadn’t been completely severed, even by death.
“I am the other half of your soul, sweet Lilly.” The deep timber of his voice rolled over her and wrapped itself around her like a warm blanket.
She pushed up from the floor to her feet. Can I actually touch him? Lilly wanted to feel his skin against hers. She needed it more than she needed the air in her lungs. Even if what she was seeing wasn’t really her mate—even if he was a hallucination—if she could just touch him, feel the warmth of his body, then maybe everything really would be okay.
The queen took a faltering step toward him and then another. He didn’t meet her halfway. Seconds later, she stood on shaky legs directly in front of him, less than two feet away.
“You’re just as beautiful as you were the day I met you,” he said. Cypher gazed at her as if he were starved for the sight of her. “You took my breath away then, and you have every moment since.”
“You don’t get
