Skender’s heart pounded painfully in his chest. His eyes never left the door his true mate had just walked through. She was only feet away from him, but there was nothing he could do about it, at least not yet. Any move he made would terrify her, or worse, cause her to try to de-man him.
How long have I been searching?
Much like Fane, Skender had come to the US to find his mate. He’d felt her call, and that call had led to America. The wolf had known without a doubt that she was out there, but no matter how hard he searched, he simply couldn’t find her. Skender had wound up with the Order because his parents had ties with the Order. They’d sucked him in with their arguments, laying the groundwork Alston would later use to convert him. Since joining, he’d made many choices he’d come to regret. He was the reason his former alphas were dead. He’d shown Alston where the stronghold was. He’d handed the Order the Romania wolves on a platter. Now, after seeing into the mind of his mate—his pure, kind mate— he not only regretted his actions, but he was disgusted with himself. She hated him on sight simply because he was a part of the Order. If she knew the things he’d done, she wouldn’t just hate him. She’d likely try to kill him. And Skender would let her, without lifting a finger to defend himself. By aligning with the Order, Skender had sided with everything that was the opposite of her. The fact that Alston was using Tenia’s young to control her only made Skender’s decision even worse. For some reason Skender thought that fae young were safe from Alston’s evil hands. He seemed like a purist. The type that would find his race superior to others and therefore wouldn’t want to harm their young, but that was just Skender showing what a fool he was.
Skender had picked up a great deal from Tenia’s mind before she’d shut him out. Despite what she thought of him, he would use none of it against her. He could never betray her, even if he wanted to. His wolf would not allow it. Even now his beast was fighting him, urging him to kill Alston for doing what he was doing to their mate and her young, which his wolf was already claiming as his own. “We can’t,” Skender told his wolf. “We can’t let Alston know what she means to us or he will use her against us, against the other packs.” This seemed to help calm his wolf, though the beast still paced inside of him.
Skender’s hand, the one that had grabbed her arm, was shaking as he remembered the way she’d felt. The minute he’d touched her he hadn’t wanted to let her go, ever. But he had no right to touch her. He gave that right up when he became a traitor. He lifted his hand to his face and took a deep breath. She smelled of holly berries and honey.
He’d known the second he’d looked at her, the second their minds had connected, that she was his. That knowledge had nearly driven him to his knees. Only decades of hiding his emotions had kept him in control. No one could know she was his. It would put her and Torion at risk. He would not allow that to happen.
Skender ground his teeth together, trying to keep his emotions from overwhelming him. He’d done so many shameful things. And in the name of what? He’d been looking for his mate and willing to do anything to find her—even work with the Order if that might bring him closer to her. But he’d never considered what that might mean when he finally did meet her. He hadn’t contemplated what she might think of his actions. Now he knew. Tenia would never be able to forgive his betrayal. And he didn’t blame her. He, too, had found it very hard to live with himself for the past month. His pack bonds had nearly been completely severed from Vasile and Alina by his own betrayal, but he’d still felt their deaths. And that feeling had almost destroyed him because he’d played a part in it. The alpha pair had done nothing but show him love and loyalty. By right, Vasile could have killed him on sight when Skender returned to the pack, yet the alpha had spared him. There’d been many occasions over the past few months when Skender had wished his former alpha had made a different choice.
But now? Now the wolf was glad Vasile hadn’t killed him. Even if he could never be with his mate, maybe he could at least protect her and her pup. If nothing else, he could figure out a way to shelter Tenia and Torion. He wasn’t certain how, but he would die trying, of that he was sure. Great Luna please, show me what I can do to help her. Skender leaned his back against the door where his mate and her son slept. He assumed they were sleeping because his wolf hearing no longer picked up their soft voices. He wanted to be as close to them as he could, and this was as close as he knew Tenia would ever allow him. It was better than never knowing her at all, but it was also torture. A sweet torture, but torture nonetheless.
“Should I trust them?” Lilly asked Cypher. Again, she knew she wasn’t really speaking to her former mate. But whether it was his soul come to visit or just a hallucination, she didn’t care. He was here, as he had been for the past five nights. She’d decided she was going to enjoy every second she got with him, no matter what that meant for her future emotional state once he stopped showing up.
“What does your gut tell you?” Cypher asked as he played with a
