“I get you,” I said. “That makes sense—thanks.”
His companion snorted. “Thinking of trying a soul-bond next, same as you’re trying to use the gate, demonkin?”
Thanks, but no thanks, I thought. I’ve already got way more experience with soul-bonds than I ever wanted.
Aloud, I only said, “Maybe,” and grinned, showing teeth. Both of the guards laughed loud and long.
Next, I spoke to both Li Wei and Fatima, reassuring myself that Dad would continue to have the day-to-day care he needed even if I left. Finally, I confided in Sharalynn—not everything, but a lot of it, including the fact that Myrial seemed really fixated on my father and I was worried about what the demon might do when I left.
She was obviously troubled by that revelation, but she agreed to watch out for him when I was gone. The worst part was, I had no idea who I should ask her to inform if Myrial started getting pushy. I finally decided on Li Wei, in hopes that the kind elder would have a good idea of what other demons might be trustworthy and inclined to protect a human against one of their own.
Lastly, I consulted with Sharalynn about the best way to arrange one last really big feeding. She said she’d go talk to Finn about it and get back to me—Finn being the shy guy I’d helped her hook up with, shortly after I first arrived. When she came back that evening, her lips were twitching with poorly veiled amusement.
“It’s always the quiet ones,” she said.
I raised my eyebrows in a silent question.
She laughed. “Here I thought my sex life would get boring once I stopped playing the field. Turns out I shouldn’t have worried.”
My eyebrows went higher. “What—Shy Guy is a secret kinkster?” I asked incredulously. “Score! You go, girl.”
She grinned wide, and leaned in to whisper something in my ear.
Which is how I found myself in the torch-lit square two days later, wearing my linen breast-wrap and loincloth skirt while engaging in a hastily choreographed erotic dance with Sharalynn, who wore nothing at all. One of her friends who had a talent for music was accompanying us on a drum, pounding out a primal, sensual beat. To say that the mostly male crowd seemed to like the show was... something of an understatement.
I’d wrestled with aspects of this, because it was a step further than the massage I’d given Sharalynn the last time we’d performed for a crowd. We were kissing this time, our hands roaming over breasts and buttocks. On the one hand, I told myself that I didn’t owe Rans anything. He’d sent me away, after all. On the other—admittedly irrational—hand, this had still felt a bit like cheating when Sharalynn suggested it.
“I’m not attracted to women,” I’d blurted. “Just so you know.”
I’d felt a bit better when she only shrugged and said, “Yeah, me neither. But Finn wants to see it, and I really like doing things to make him happy. So, what do you think?”
It wasn’t cheating if neither party was getting off on it, I tried to tell myself.
Be true to your own nature, Rans had said. Ironically enough, that was what decided me.
And tonight, my nature was getting a feast. A lot of people had showed up, and pretty much everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves... except me. But at least I was going to be really, really well fed afterward. And tonight, that was exactly what I needed.
When we reached the end of our prearranged routine, Sharalynn gave me a hug that wasn’t part of the choreography. “You think this’ll be enough to get you through the gate?” she whispered, low enough that only I would hear.
I hugged her back. “Hope so. If this doesn’t do it, I’m not sure what will.”
We separated after a final tight squeeze.
“Come back when you can,” she said. “I’ll watch over your father in the meantime. And Zorah?”
“Yes,” I asked, fighting the tears prickling at the backs of my eyes.
“I don’t know who you’ve been pining for the entire time you’ve been here. But do me a favor—find him and tell him how miserable you’ve been without him.”
It was all I could do to slam barriers around the pit of hurt that surged open at her words.
“I’ll... talk to him,” I managed, because I did have to talk to Rans. I had to tell him about Nigellus, and the stolen blood, and the fact that Myrial might be out to kill him. Sadly, none of those things changed anything else about our relationship.
Sharalynn gave me a sad smile and patted my cheek. Then she turned to meet Finn, who’d screwed up enough courage to approach us. He was staring at Sharalynn like she’d hung the three moons in the sky of Hell, and she was looking at him like he was the center of her world. I slipped away silently, leaving them to it and waving away the handful of hopefuls trying to get my attention.
I went straight back to Dad’s hut, where I got him settled for the night, packed my little suitcase, and tried with limited success to get a few hours of sleep. When the first hints of dawn lightened the sky outside the window, I got dressed. After shoveling some food leftover from yesterday into my gullet, I got Dad up. Rather than taking him out to his chair on the stoop, though, I sat him down inside and took him by the shoulders. To my relief, he actually looked at me.
“Dad, I’m going now,” I told him, trying to sound positive even though I still had serious misgivings about my ability to get through the gate... and now, there was no backup plan if I couldn’t. “You’re going to be okay. Other people will still look after you. Just remember what I said about agreeing to a deal with a demon. Any demon.”
He frowned, his eyes trailing over
