“Sir, can I ask you a question?” Dismar suddenly asked, interrupting the intellectual masturbation of my buddy the salamander.
“Go ahead.”
“Do you think something supernatural is going to happen? There is this time shift in some places, this talking baby, and even if it’s a made-up story, still, it did happen. And the machine starting today... Do you think that a supernatural event is coming into existence? Are we going to be safe? Are the gods aware of that? Are they going to save us?” he asked me, perplexed before he parked at the Arc.
“I really wish the gods, the demons, or even the aliens, would show up and allow us to avoid all this mess, or at least help you to park properly,” as he parked like a new driver. “And yes, the machine is starting up today,” I confirmed. The time is shifting because the reality is splitting for the two consciousness. So, right now, this is inevitable, and I have to deal with it. And if there is any good god willing to come down and sort our mess, he better reveal himself today as I will not need him tomorrow.
Dismar looked at me with his beautiful eyes desperately begging for answers. I said, “I need you to focus now, okay? We are in a war, so stop thinking like a civilian.”
He answered me firmly like I had just woke him up from a dream, “Yes, sir!”
This is absurd, finding myself trapped in this crazy, hopeless situation when everyone on this planet just had a nice weekend and is now coming back home from fishing or from spending an enjoyable time with their loved ones. I find myself in a meeting with the top grumpiest generals of this insane empire, trying to explain to them the AI machine and its role in our future defense strategy. I’m trying to pretend that their opinions matter and answer their concerns with sincerity, like they had some say in the campaign. I tortured myself for two hours by pretending I am leaving the dream of being at the top of my career, and today is the best day of my life as we will test the machine, finally.
I must leave, run away from all of this, restart from scratch somewhere else. I have enough money, and I still have some time left to live happily. Why do I keep lying to myself that this is worth it? Suppose life has to end on this planet or in this universe, than let it. Who am I to pretend that I am very special and unique enough to save it? And even if I was special and unique, why would I try to save it? Why not just leave it to do what it does the best – extinctions? Only then will we all rest finally from this suffering, the suffering of existence itself.
I am sick and tired of this. I don't experience any satisfaction watching these lame generals laughing, excited about this ultimate weapon, some of them joking about how invading will be easy and convenient. I don't experience any satisfaction watching them flattering me in respect and fear after what I announced to them. I want to vomit on this table, vomit up small ugly creatures that will jump on them and eat their ugly faces. This meeting is the ugliest experience I ever had.
Oh to be surfing on a beach far away in some unknown island in a small poor country, where I can eat bananas and sleep all day long! My money will buy me a nice, small house on the beach where I could live peacefully for the rest of my life. I could leave now, pretending I am going to the washroom. I could never come back again. I could hide..
“Excuse me, sirs, I’ll be back in about five minutes.”
I went to the bathroom, my hands were shaking. I had a headache, and my heart was racing. I washed my face, trying to breathe and forget the ugliness I just witnessed. I then took the drops out of my pocket, five this time. It’s D-day, for god’s sake!
I looked at myself in the mirror, shamefully. Can I really turn my back and pretend that this is not my problem when people will be enslaved? Can I really pretend that these problems don't exist when wars will erupt creating poor, tortured orphans? Can I really surf pretending that this sea is endless and wild when, in fact, someone owns it and is exterminating all the defenseless wildlife in it?
My heart started to slow down. My head stopped hurting, and my hands were not shaking anymore. Deep inside me there was still lot of empathy towards every living thing, and that is not a weakness. In fact, it is my biggest strength.
I didn't go back to the meeting. I sent the secretary to finish that as I had more important things to do than listening to their sad and miserable opinions. If one of them was not happy, he can, well…
Chapter 14
It’s On!
“Let's call it a day.”
~ Konu
T he room was full. “Everybody is here, let's proceed, please,” I said. The three monkeys started running everywhere to double-check the system. They finally decided to turn the power on after a small, pathetic chat that seemed to end with them looking like they were congratulating each
