‘And that’s what I’m doing...or at least trying to.’
‘No, you’re not. Right now, you’re cutting your nose off to spite your face, because you think some time in the future he’s going to regret this, that he’ll commit to you and twenty years down the line wish he’d run a mile.’
‘Christ, I’ll be sixty-five and he’ll be forty-nine.’
‘And? Is that really so shocking? Have you forgotten that there’s fourteen years between Pete and me?’
Her words dance over my heart, a lightness lifting inside.
‘Don’t you think he has a right to decide on what future he wants for himself and if he wants you in it?’ She cups my cheek, her eyes searching mine. ‘Don’t you owe it to him—Christ, don’t you owe it to yourself to give this relationship a shot and let the future land how it may?’
‘God, Fee, when did you get to be so wise?’
‘Hey, I’ve popped out four kids, and I think they take a few brain cells with them each and every time.’
I place my glass on the side next to hers and pull her to me, squeeze her tight. ‘Thank you, sis, thank you.’
‘Does this mean you’re actually going to listen to me for a change?’
‘Yes! Yes, I am.’
‘Bloody hell, look at that!’
She yanks me away from her and points to the sky through the window.
‘What?’
‘You missed it! There was a giant pink pig flying through the air.’
‘Shut up, Fee!’ But I laugh, hard, delirious almost, and it’s overtaken by a child’s gasp.
Billy’s head is poking through a fresh gap in the doorway, his mouth agape, his blue eyes dancing.
‘Daddy, Daddy...’ he’s already racing off ‘... Aunty Liv told Mum to shut up!’
Fee throws her hands in the air. ‘God, what I’d give for some privacy in this house!’
‘You love it really,’ I say.
She looks at me, her cheeks flushed pink, her eyes bright. ‘Wouldn’t change it for the world, sis. Now, you need to go and get your man.’
‘It’s waited two weeks; it can wait a night at least.’
‘You sure about that?’
‘No. Not really.’
‘Go. There’ll be more Sunday dinners, but something tells me there’s only one Valentine Boretti.’
My smile trembles on my lips as my eyes well up again. ‘Thank you, sis.’
‘Any time.’
I hug her again, then head for the door. ‘Sorry, Pete, kids, Aunty Liv is on a mission, but I’ll see you again very soon.’
And I’m out through the door, racing to my car and to his place at a speed he would approve of, even if every second feels like an eternity. I’m desperate, so very desperate to tell him how I feel. To tell him how sorry I am that I lied. To tell him everything.
So desperate that it takes me several attempts to get my words out straight when I arrive at his apartment building and need to ask the security guard for access to the underground car park. The very same security guard that likely witnessed our extracurricular activity the other night—oh, God, that really doesn’t help.
‘I’m sorry, say that again. Who are you here to see?’
Okay, so if he did witness it, he isn’t making any show of it.
I take a calming breath. ‘Valentine Boretti.’
He nods. ‘I think Mr Boretti is away at the moment. Let me just check for you.’
My fingers dance over the steering wheel, my entire body doing a crazy little jig in the driver’s seat.
Please be home, please be home, please—
‘I’m afraid there’s no answer. I think he’s been away a few days now.’
‘Dammit!’ I slap the steering wheel, startling the guard, and quickly throw him an apologetic smile. ‘Any idea where he might be?’
He shakes his head, his smile sympathetic. ‘I’m afraid we’re not privy to that information. You could try calling him?’
‘Yes, of course.’
I hardly want this conversation over the phone though and after how I treated him...there’s no guarantee he’ll even answer. No. I have to see him. Face to face.
I reverse back out of the entrance and think. There must be some way of finding out where he is...
Someone who will know...or at least be able to find out...
Valentine
When I decided to come to Paris and deal with Autumn Beckham directly rather than having one of my employees do it, I foolishly used it as a reason to escape London and the tempting proximity of Olivia.
It was pretty clear after Alan received my report that Olivia wasn’t about to chase me down and tell me she was wrong, and I’ve had to accept it.
Only I haven’t.
When I received a call from her office just yesterday, I had the foolish thought it would be her. The common sense telling me that she would use her mobile to call non-existent.
And I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s like having a fire lit inside and not being able to snuff it out, but without its instigator it continues to flare, unabating, and hell, I’m confused. Not just confused. I feel like a part of me is missing.
It’s similar to losing Layla, only then I was so tormented by guilt, grief; you name it I felt it. But with Olivia... I don’t know. How is it possible to feel so much for someone and have them deny it? Have them feel the opposite almost?
Damned if I know, but I was wrong, and I do have to accept it because I can’t function like this. Going through life on autopilot when she’s shown me what it feels like to truly live again. To actually love again.
‘Thanks so much for joining me today, Valentine.’
I turn away from Autumn’s balcony and the sun going down on the Eiffel Tower, the warming hues of the picture-perfect sunset doing nothing for me.
‘You’re welcome.’ I smile to mask my thoughts and she returns it, combing her hands through her smooth black hair, shaking it out.
‘I know I’m not the easiest to deal with at times—no, you can say it, it’s fine.’
I merely nod.
‘But having you with me, protecting my back so to speak, I
