With my hand on his knee, rubbing circles, I said, “No. If anyone doesn’t deserve something, it’s me. I’m the one who stopped anything from happening with us.”
Ben stood up and pulled me with him, gathering me close. “But it’s happening now, so we can leave that all behind us. Come on, we’ll be late.”
We walked out my door, leaving the heaviness in my apartment with only something exciting and fun ahead of us. I wished my whole life could be like this moment.
“Comfortable?” Ben asked as we drove down the highway, and I use the term generously. The two-lane road was more like a better-maintained back road.
I nodded. “So, do you do this often?”
He glanced at me, giving me a curious look. “What? Drive?”
Pulling my knee up and leaning it on the passenger door, I looked over to study Ben. “The drive-in.”
“Haven’t been since summers during college. Although, I’m pretty sure they still show the same movies.”
“Ha.” I laughed. “It really is beautiful here. I don’t think I ever realized how stifling the city air can be.”
“It’s home for me. I wish I could help more on the farm, but my parents understand. Plus, I like to hang with Branson when I can.”
“How is Brenna?” I asked, remembering that the last time I asked, Ben avoided the topic.
“It’s a sticky subject. No pun intended. Sorry, the syrup humor just comes out sometimes.” He grinned at me. “It’s sticky, get it?”
“I get it. I’m not as dumb as you think.” My mind drifted back to high school and all the tutoring Ben gave me.
“Oh, you’re definitely not dumb.” He reached over and squeezed my thigh. “I was always impressed with your attention to detail.”
“Hmm.” I shifted my gaze back to the road and the green trees lining it.
“Anyway, Brenna lives in Colebury. She has a small house she rents. It’s not enough, but she does her best. Got pregnant my first year at Pressman,” he said, a sadness darkening his tone.
“That’s tough. She knows the dad?”
“She’s not like that. Didn’t sleep around. Yeah, she knows Branson’s dad. He didn’t want a baby or a family or any of that. Signed over rights.”
I frowned. “I don’t get how someone can do that.”
“He did. Anyway, I try to be there for Bren. Got her out of bartending at the Mill. It’s a great place, but she was only working nights, and that was hard with a toddler. When I started at the hospital, I helped her get a job at the information desk. Pay isn’t great, but it has full benefits. Of course, she signs up for every extra shift and works any overtime opportunity that comes her way. So, it’s too much.”
“You seem pretty involved,” I said, quickly adding, “Which is a good thing. It’s the type of family I wished for. Caring and concerned.”
“I try, at least. You know what? This exit has a fast food joint. Want to grab a quick coffee? It’s our last chance.”
Just like that, Ben changed the subject. It was clear Brenna and Branson were mostly off-limits. I couldn’t help but wonder why, but I let it go.
“Sure. I don’t know how good the coffee will be compared to my K-cups,” I said, grinning as I gave him the side-eye. “They’re pretty gourmet.”
“Oh yeah?” Ben said, his tone back to jovial.
“I can’t believe how stopping for coffee—not fast-food coffee, but expensive coffee—was part of my daily routine. Not once, but sometimes two or three times a day, at ten bucks a pop. Crazy, when I think about how much my life has changed since leaving New York.”
Steering the car into a parking lot, Ben asked, “Do you miss it?”
“Sometimes I think I should miss it more. I almost force myself to miss it. It’s crazy, but I don’t. Yeah, I know K-cups aren’t great, but this independent feeling I have is pretty awesome. My parents don’t get it. They want me to go back to how I was. Dependent. Obedient.”
“Come on. Let’s be independent.” Ben hopped out and helped me out of the car, taking my hand as he led us into the restaurant and to the counter. “You know, there’s only one of these places within an hour?”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, I know all about crunchy, healthy, earthy, hippie, farm-to-table Vermont.”
“So, you’re a big fast-food eater? Should we ditch the picnic I brought and grab some cheeseburgers?”
Ben pulled me closer and I leaned into him, loving the warmth. My insides melted like the processed cheese on the burgers sold at the Golden Arches.
“Let’s keep the picnic, okay?”
“Okay,” Ben said, giving my hip a quick squeeze.
We ordered coffees—cream and sugar for him, only cream for me—like we did this all the time. And strangely, it felt like we did.
15
Ben
Back in the car, I gulped my coffee. “Not quite as good as an Americano made by you, hence the cream and sugar,” I said while glancing at Murphy.
“Why, thank you,” she said, playfully bowing in her seat.
“Do you like it still? Working at the Bean?”
Tucking a loose hair behind her ear, Murphy turned to look at me. “I like it fine. It’s good to be here in Vermont. I’m liking Hunnie more than I thought I would. In fact, I have this idea for her. Oh—” Murphy stopped short and bounced in her seat. “I remembered these fancy honey sticks from the city. It’s like a straw filled with honey that you snip the top off of and pour into a drink or whatever.”
I nodded, not wanting to interrupt.
“It could be
