“Thanks,” I whisper.
Tag steps forward, handing me the clothes. I take them from him, dropping the shoes onto the floor with a dull thud. I do not look up.
“LJ tells me you’re not sure what to do.”
“I know there are benefits to stopping the Project. But there are also negatives. So much about the world could change. More than we can even imagine.”
He moves to sit next to me on the bed and I feel the soft mattress tilt under his weight. “But you would finally be free.”
“And stuck in the forties. Alone. Mary and Lucas and the Bentleys would have no idea who I was, and Wes—”
I cannot bring myself to finish the thought. Tag is watching the thin line of my lips, the way my shoulders fall.
“What happened to Wes?” he asks softly.
I shake my head but don’t answer, and I hear him sigh.
“Did LJ tell you why he wants you to go back?”
“He said they’ve been waiting for the chance to find the right person to attempt it.”
“He also knows that you understand how much the Project can steal from a person.” He leans forward, clasping his hands together at his knees. It is a mimic of my pose and I wonder if it’s deliberate, if he thinks he can win me over through body language.
“We named our son Chris for LJ and Nikki’s older brother. He was taken by the Project too.”
“I remember.”
“Did LJ tell you that he contacted him?”
“No.” I turn to look at his profile. “How did he do it?”
“He hacked into the Montauk Project’s mainframe, and somehow located the files on where a group of recruits had been sent. He eventually figured out some mission Chris was on and met him there. LJ said Chris was like a zombie, and barely recognized him. But he kept at it until Chris finally cracked. That was around two thousand twelve.”
In the hardware store, that same year, LJ told me he was close to contacting a recruit. He must have meant Chris. “What happened?”
“As soon as LJ broke through to him, the Project figured out what was going on, and Chris just disappeared. He was supposed to meet LJ in New York, and he never showed. We couldn’t find a trace of him after that.”
“They killed him.”
Tag shrugs. “Maybe. Probably. By that point LJ had told Nikki and me what was going on, and we were all living down here in hiding. Since then, he’s been able to rescue a few more recruits and get them out . . .”
His voice hangs there, and I finish the thought. “But it’s not enough to make up for what happened to Chris.”
“No. It’s not.”
I stand up from the bed and pace to the opposite side of the room. There are water stains on the wall, dark lines that drip from the ceiling to the floor. “I know all this, Tag. I know what they do. I know how horrible they can be.”
“Then why don’t you want to stop them?”
“Because . . . because I left Wes on the side of the road with the FBI surrounding him. I swore that I would go back to the beginning of the mission and fix it. With access to a TM I could do that.”
Tag stands too and when I pace back toward him he grabs my shoulders, holding me in place. “Lydia, this is the best way to save him. I knew Wes for a long time. When we were living on the streets together, before the Project snatched him away, we were happy. It was tough, yeah, but we had each other, we had a gang we ran with. Wes was smart and he was handsome and everyone knew he would get out of that life eventually. After I saw him again when you both came to the eighties, he was like a shell of what he used to be. Shaking all the time like his body was falling apart. Constantly staring over his shoulder. Cold. The Project did that to him. The only time I even saw a spark of the old Wes was when he was with you.”
I try to pull away but he tightens his grip, locking me in place. It’s not anything I didn’t know, but hearing Tag’s words feels like I’m living that car crash all over again, thrust up in the air with no way to anchor myself, the sharp metal ripping into my skin.
“Even if you can go back and save Wes, then what happens? You keep working as slaves for the Project until you both die, maybe on a mission, or maybe from the TM breaking you down? That’s the life you want for yourself, for Wes?”
“No,” I whisper. “No. I want us to be free.”
“Then set him free, Lydia. Set him free and let him go.”
After Tag leaves, I sit on the bed, holding the pink dress in my hands. Seeing the future me and meeting LJ again has all led to this moment—I finally have to decide how my future will be tied to the Montauk Project.
If I destroy the Project, Wes and I would never meet. My family and friends might know a different Lydia, but it wouldn’t be me. Any good the Project has done will never have happened, and the time line will be a mystery, with no one left to stand guard or protect the world from future mistakes.
But the Project has stolen so many lives, including mine. They control and manipulate the time line, and no one even knows that it’s happening. It’s the kind of power that is too great, especially when it falls into the hands of someone like Colonel Walker.
If I end the Montauk Project, Wes and Tim and my grandfather could have a chance at a normal life. I wouldn’t be in it, but
