“So we’re just going to sit here, glued to our screens, and watch them die?”
“What else can we do?”
“Can we get as close as possible, then rush in once the eclipse is over? Totality only lasts a couple of minutes.”
“The flood will happen before then. And if we tried to go in before totality, there’s no guarantee we could get out in time. We’d all be stripped.”
I pace around the room, adrenaline and fear coursing through me. My heart races as my eyes land on Mr. Hart’s logbook.
“Mr. Hart thought I’d be able to survive an eclipse,” I say, so quietly I’m not sure Paige even hears me.
She pauses. “What?”
I repeat my words, louder this time.
“No witch has ever survived an eclipse. Every single one of them comes out a shader.”
“I know,” I say, handing Paige the logbook and pointing to where she should start reading. “I’d try and get out in time, but if I couldn’t…” My sentence trails off, hanging in the space between us.
Her eyes fly over Mr. Hart’s words, and she shakes her head as she goes.
“There’s definitely something to it,” she says, still reading. “But it’s a huge risk.”
“Is it too big?”
She sets the book down and looks at me. I can see her warring with herself, going back and forth about what to say.
I might stay for the eclipse.
I might try to stop you.
“I don’t know. But if you can’t get out in time and Mr. Hart is right, you’ll remain an Ever whose magic is no longer a danger to the people you love.”
“It feels like a huge risk to take when I can’t even make my love last longer than a season,” I finally say. Love is for the summer—that’s how it has always been. And even though I started falling for Sang in the spring, it was summer that pushed me over the edge. Pushed me into love.
As soon as I say it, I know that’s what’s holding me back.
I love Sang now, but I have no reason to believe that love will survive the autumnal equinox.
Sang is different—the spring showed me that. But I’ve never been able to make a relationship last beyond summer, and if the ring of fire taught me anything, it’s that hoping is a hollow sentiment.
“First of all, there are as many kinds of love as there are stars in the sky. You only think you can’t love someone romantically for longer than a season. Fine—that still leaves you with all the other kinds of love.” Paige grabs a bottle of water from the dresser and takes a long drink. “Second, that’s completely absurd.”
“How is that absurd?” I broke up with Paige before the equinox, but I still felt it—something changed. I didn’t long for her in the same way anymore.
“I’ve been watching you with Sang since autumn. It’s now summer.”
“And?”
“And you’ve been in love with him since at least winter. Probably longer.”
There’s no way I’ve loved Sang since winter. Before him, romance outside of summer wasn’t something I was capable of—romance in winter would be downright absurd. And while the spring was special, it was summer that intensified my feelings, drenching them in love.
Wasn’t it?
“You’re only saying that because we started dating in spring, which, granted, is new for me—”
“I’m saying it because when you started training with Sang, you stopped hating yourself. He was able to make you see yourself through his eyes and actually like what you saw.” Paige pauses and looks at me dead-on. “Listen, do you believe Mr. Hart’s theory?”
I look down. “I want to,” I say. “I care about whether all those people die. I care that our atmosphere is devolving into chaos and our witches are dying from depletion. I care about Mr. Hart’s belief in me. Maybe I should fight for all those things.” I say the words slowly, not quite believing I’m saying them at all.
“That’s not what I meant,” Paige says, but when I look at her, I know she’s considering my words. She pauses, and for several seconds we stand in silence, watching each other.
“If you’re going to go, you have to go now,” she finally says.
“I’ll try to get out in time.”
My hands shake as I pull some cash from my duffel, my heart pounding against my ribs. The dream elixir peeks out from inside my sweatshirt, and I carefully pick it up.
If there were ever a time to make a wish, this is it.
I take off the top, and the earthy, floral scent rises up to greet me. I breathe in deep, let it calm my racing heart and shaking hands and restless mind. I close my eyes and apply it to both sides of my neck, both wrists.
“Please let this work,” I say over and over.
“You about done with your perfume?” Paige asks, making sure I know how ridiculous she thinks I’m being.
“It’s a dream elixir.” I put the top back on and carefully place it in my bag.
“Whatever,” she says, handing me my phone. A timer is set for one hour. “By the time this goes off, you have to be hauling ass out of there if you want to make it out before totality. I’ll wait to tell Ms. Suntile where you are so she won’t have enough time to go after you.”
“Okay,” I say, sliding my phone in my pocket.
I walk to the door, pausing when my hand touches the cool metal handle. “I’m really doing this,” I say, shaking my head.
“You’re really doing this,” Paige says behind me.
I turn to look at her. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you,” I say. “I should have.”
Paige swallows but keeps her eyes on mine. “Go.”
I open the door, rush down the emergency staircase, and run out the back of the hotel.
I hop in a taxi and look out the rear window.
No one follows me.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
“This is your life, and you have to choose how you want to live it.”
—A Season for Everything
I’ve never seen so much
