“Sit,” she says, motioning to two empty seats.
We talk about magic and the wildfire training for a few minutes, and then the conversation shifts to after-graduation plans and upcoming trips and inside jokes and the Summer Ball. We laugh and talk over each other and laugh some more.
This should have been my experience here all along, and it hurts, thinking about all the meals I ate in my cabin, all the ways I avoided people, all the time I spent alone. Mr. Hart and Nox were my best friends—my only friends—and I wish I could go back in time and hug my younger self, tell her it wouldn’t always be that way.
I’m so happy to be here in this loud dining hall with clanking dishes and so many voices. Sang’s hand brushes against mine while we eat, his pinkie wrapping around my own. It’s such a casual thing, a small touch in the middle of this too-loud room, and yet it’s everything.
When we’re done eating and leave the dining hall, Sang walks me to my cabin before heading to his apartment.
“It’s too bad you didn’t get a chance to move back into one of the houses,” he says as I open the door and walk inside.
“I would have liked that,” I say. “Although, this secluded cabin beneath the cover of the trees has its benefits.” I give Sang a meaningful look, keeping my eyes on his as I walk backward to my bed.
“It certainly does,” he agrees, taking my hand when I reach for him. I pull him toward me, and we crash onto the bed. He lands on top of me and props himself up on his elbow, his fingers playing with my hair. His hand is smudged with paint, and I smile to myself.
“Did I tell you I used your dream elixir?”
His entire face lights up. He looks so happy, and it’s this reaction I want to elicit over and over again, forever ever ever.
“I used it right before I left for the cloudburst. I put it on my wrists and neck and spoke my wish out loud,” I say, committing to memory the way he looks right now.
“What did you wish for?”
“That it would work.”
“And it did,” he says, a huge smile spreading across his face, dimples and bright eyes and so much joy.
“It did.” I pause then, heart hammering in my chest. I’m saving the words, can’t say them yet, but I want him to know. “But I think it had a side effect.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, fingers still tangled in my hair.
“Do you remember when I said my resolve was rather strong?”
“I do,” he says, watching me.
I swallow hard. “I was wrong,” I say simply.
If Sang’s smile lit up my room before, it’s now the Sun herself. He could light the whole world.
And I bask in it.
Chapter Forty-Two
“There are two things you should know up front. One: your magic is dangerous. Two: you can learn to control it.”
—A Season for Everything
Today is the last day of summer, and the Sun hangs on to it as if she has something to prove. I’m an official graduate of the Eastern School of Solar Magic, and it feels better than I ever thought it would. As the autumnal equinox approaches, I’m not nervous or scared.
I’m content. Ready.
I’m standing on the control field, waiting for Sang. The Sun gives up her place in the sky, and dusk settles over the vast field with a heathered shade of blue that makes everything feel peaceful. So much has happened on this field, but it no longer holds only pain for me. It also holds my successes and progress and hope.
In a few hours, the field will be full of witches celebrating the equinox, welcoming autumn. The sweet scent of spiced cider will fill the air, and people will laugh and talk beneath the dark expanse of night.
But I have my own plans.
Sang walks onto the field, a picnic basket hanging from one arm and blankets draped over the other, and my heart falters at the sight of him. Maybe one day I’ll be used to it, to the way his mouth pulls into a smile the instant he sees me, but not today.
“Hi,” he says, setting the basket on the ground and wrapping his arms around me. I melt into him, into his broad chest and earthy smell and strong arms, and for just a moment, I forget that I’m leaving tomorrow.
I’m moving to London to work with the Solar Magic Association on developing a protocol for how and when to use my magic. Shaders from some of the most prestigious organizations in the world will be there, too, working on it with us.
Instead of witches dying from depletion, their magic will be amplified. They’ll be able to help. They’ll be safe. And even though our world is suffering, struggling to breathe, I’m hopeful that our magic, combined with the shaders’ work, will make a difference.
Will make the difference.
Sang pulls away and delivers a small kiss to my lips, then picks up the basket.
“You’re very prepared,” I say.
“I just like my girl to be comfortable.” The words fill my chest with a pressure I can’t explain, as if my heart is expanding to hold everything I feel for him. “Shall we?” he asks.
I walk to the trail with Sang behind me, and we begin our climb. It’s quiet under the canopy of the trees in this space between day and night when everything seems to still. We hike up in comfortable silence, our breaths mingling with the wind.
It’s my first time going to the meadow with Sang. Not alone to leave a message for him, wishing I could talk to him, see him, touch him. We’re going together.
My breaths come heavier as the trail inclines, and knowing he’s one step behind me fills me up the way air fills my lungs.
His presence, his
