“Excuses?” he asked, rocking backward. “How can you believe this nonsense? This sounds like something like that horrid Janet Davies would say, not my Maggie. How can you ever believe I want nothing to do with you? That I care one iota about what happened between you and Jacques, except for how it hurt you and how it caused you to lose your confidence?” He shook his head at her tears, taking a step closer, as he raised a shaking hand to trace over her brow. “Forgive me.”
“I can’t,” she whispered on a broken sob. “I can’t.” She pushed at his chest, earning an “Oof” of surprise, although she wasn’t able to race away from him. He wrapped an arm around her middle, yanking her close. “Let me go. Just let me go, Philip.”
His heart broke at the pleading desperation in her voice, and he took a stuttering breath as he pressed his face to her neck. “I can’t. I want to do everything in my power to give you what you want, but I can’t let you go. I can’t lose you, Maggie.” When he felt her still and cease fighting him, he eased his hold on her and helped turn her, so he could meet her gaze. “I thought I was being sensible. Giving you time to overcome your heartache.”
She shrugged, as a sob burst out, unable to speak.
Swiping his hands over her sodden cheeks, he whispered, “Instead I was a fool. I allowed you to craft lies about how I truly felt.” He kissed one palm and then the other, raising her hands to rest against his chest. “I love you, Maggie. I have loved no other as I love you in my entire life. I will never love again as I love you and if you …” He paused, as though what he were about to say were an unutterable sacrilege. “If you were to deny me loving you, I would have to leave.”
“Leave?” she whispered, her breath stuttering and her eyes widening in horror at the prospect.
He nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yes. I can’t be in this town with no hope of us, Maggie. I hate that you suffered, but I’ve clung to the belief that you’d come to trust me. To trust that I would never hurt you as he did. To trust that I’ll only ever care for you. Cherish you.”
She gazed at him in wide-eyed confusion. “But you haven’t held me or kissed me in weeks. Not since I recovered after I returned.”
His smile was filled with somber tenderness. “You’ve been pricklier than a porcupine. I wanted to respect you and to give you space. I realized today that I’ve been a fool.” He took a hesitant half step in her direction, stilling when she froze. “Trust me, please,” he pleaded.
She spun away from him a moment before she fell to her knees, a keening wail carrying on the wind. Dunmore looked up for a moment to see her brothers, Ardan and Kevin, poking their heads around the side of the shed. He waved them away and then nodded, as they backed away. Giving thanks that Maggie hadn’t noticed their presence, he lowered to kneel by her.
“Maggie, what is it? I know what happened. I know the worst of it,” he murmured.
She held her hands over her face. “How can you still want me?” she whispered. “How can you trust I’m not lying?” She raised her gaze to stare at him.
He shook his head, as though she were speaking a foreign language. “You’ve always been honest with me. I know you’d never lie. I trust you.” He spoke in short, simple sentences, hoping something he said would help her to have faith in him. “I believe in you.” He took a deep breath. “And if … , Maggie, if he’d …” His jaw clamped tight for a moment before he rasped out, “… raped you, I would always want you. That would be his shame. Never yours.” He paused as he gazed deeply into her eyes. “Never yours.”
She collapsed forward, creeping forward the few inches that separated him. She fell into his arms. “I’m so ashamed,” she whispered. “Everyone looks at me, like I’m … I’m …” She didn’t finish her sentence.
“Precious,” he murmured. “They worry they’ll do or say something wrong that will cause you pain.” He pulled her even closer, sighing with pleasure to hold her in his arms again. “Someone should have pushed you to cry and scream and wail before now Me. Your parents.” He kissed her brow. “You would have released all this sorrow before now. Instead you let it build up and created fantasies that weren’t true.”
He held her close for long moments. He waited until she relaxed incrementally in his arms. “Nothing that happened to you was your fault. Nothing that was done to you was your fault.”
“I begged him to beat me,” she protested. “What kind of woman am I?”
He tensed, taking a deep breath, as he looked at her for a long moment, her head cradled in his palms. “The bravest woman I know. You survived something horrible, beloved, while you escaped something even worse.” His gaze shone with relief and love. “I know this is the wrong time, but you need to know.” When he felt her tense, he smiled tenderly at her. “I can’t live this life without you, Maggie. Marry me. Please.”
She gaped at him, her gasping breath feathering his cheek for a long minute, before she pushed against him and struggled to stand. “No! No, I will not be seen as some pathetic …” She stopped, holding a hand to her mouth as she stared at Dunmore, her gaze unguarded and uncertain. “You mean it? You want me? As I am now, not as you dreamed I’d be?” A tear coursed down her
