Ryan sat at a loss for words, unsure where to start. Finally he said, “They mean a lot, but I don’t want to have to kill for them.”
“Understandable, but it is sometimes necessary. Something that you must understand, and this is of great importance, is that ending a life when that life is seeking to end yours, is wholly different from the aggressor trying to end the lives of others to further some cause of your fancy.”
“Yes!” Ryan agreed, standing up in his passion. “But I’m going there to kill a dragon!”
Lorian shook his head as the knight paced. “No, you are not. That is not part of the quest. You are to banish the dragons, not harm them.”
Ryan opened and then shut his mouth again, his emotions ahead of his mind. “But what if I have to kill this one in order to banish the others? Doesn’t that make me the aggressor? This dragon hasn’t hurt anyone since coming through, right?”
“On the contrary, it killed four men that we know of, but I’m afraid it is only a matter of time before it kills far more. It is the nature of these dragons.”
“But preemptively killing this dragon before it kills someone else is hardly a justification. That’s murder!”
“What if we are right about its intentions based on dragons’ history? Would you prefer to wait until all the dragons are released and kill countless people before realizing they are indeed the killers history has proven them to be, and then act? Is that not a greater evil for all the lives lost while you waited for the dragons to prove their nature?”
Ryan’s heart sank. The elf was right about that. He’d certainly feel worse. “The lesser of two evils,” he muttered.
Rising and coming around the table to him, the elf put a hand on his arm. “Listen, Ryan,” he started, using his real name for the first time, “I know this fight is not yours, but it is important that you accompany us. Your armor is protected against dragon fire. It is the only one of its kind available to us in the time allowed and it will not fit any of my elves. We are too slender. It might be needed to get at least you past the dragon and to the gate, or allow you to distract her while Soliander closes it. We need you. Honyn needs you. Your friends need you.”
After a long pause, Ryan quietly said, “I wish they didn’t and could just go without me.”
Lorian shook his head. “I don’t think you mean that. You say you cannot live with the thought of taking another life, but can you live with the thought of your friends dying while you remain safe here, especially when your presence might have prevented their deaths?”
Ryan hadn’t thought of that and knew he would forever blame himself. His shoulders slumped in defeat.
The elf said, “I can teach you how to avoid delivering fatal strikes while defending yourself, and since this is your preference, I would like to see you enter into such training with vigor and not reluctance. You can do great good without causing death. We can also teach you how to use your lance to kill a dragon so that you will understand what not to do if you wish to only hurt it, or stop it.”
Ryan looked up, seeing compassionate slanted eyes on him. He knew the elf was right, and while he didn’t like it, there was no escaping it. He sensed a kind of kinship and suddenly felt grateful.
“So, if I stay behind, my friends might die,” he said quietly, “and if I go, I might hurt or kill someone. It seems like no matter what I do, death is going to find someone.”
“In all probability, yes. The important thing is that if you come along, you can help decide who survives, but if you remain here you are powerless to help anyone, including yourself.”
Ryan looked up, realizing something. “With me separated, someone could attack me here while you’re all gone, couldn’t they?”
Lorian nodded. “Yes, though the estate is well protected.”
The knight made a rueful expression, thinking of the day’s events. “Not enough, apparently.” He let out a big sigh. “I guess we had better get started.”
Ryan wasn’t the only one bothered by the spies. Both Anna and Matt found concentrating on their studies difficult, and the former finally went for a walk that didn’t help because she no longer felt safe. She kept expecting someone to jump out from every corner or a staff member to suddenly become a threat. She finally secluded herself in Lorian’s library with a few books on Honyn’s religions and slowly became immersed in them, mostly out of curiosity.
For his part, Matt struggled to remain focused but more out of excitement than worry. He’d encountered two spies today and wanted to know how to detect them, and more importantly, put a stop to what they were doing. If he could cast a lightning bolt spell like the figure in the orb, someone would think twice about messing with him or his friends. He could now read every word of the spell books and couldn’t believe the powerful spells in them. Only Lorian’s expectations for him and the fear of something going wrong stopped him from working on them.
Lorian had taken the orb away and not discussed it with them beyond assuring them it wasn’t something they wanted near. As Eric had observed, it was better not to have what amounted to a phone that someone could call you on and then kill you through. And people had once talked about cell phones emitting radiation.
As the day continued, both Eric and Ryan learned swordsmanship from Morven and Lorian respectively, and shortly before dinner, Matt succeeded in casting a spell under Lorian’s watchful eye. The
