She sounded angry as she replied, “You might be right. I can’t be with a man who does evil things. You know why.”
In a low voice, he said, “Do not compare me to your childhood tormentors. I would never… not to you.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. You don’t seem to realize that you are breaking my heart anyway.”
“Eriana,” he began as if pained.
“I looked for you. All over this Earth. Anywhere I could think you might be.” Her voice grew strained. “You more than the others. I eventually gave up hope, that you were lost and I would never see you again. And now after all this time, I heard there might be hope. I met these replacements for us. And they told me they had seen you, that you had attacked them without justification. I finally found hope again and can hardly believe it. And I just dreaded to find out that it was true, that you had changed in the worst of ways, and here you stand before me confirming all of my fears. I have found you only to find that you are more lost to me than I would have ever imagined you could be.”
Imploring Eriana, Soliander said, “I am not lost to you.”
“Then what were you going to do when I opened that door?”
“I… I was going to capture them. To get information from them. So I could find you. I thought them replacing us must have meant something, and there was hope to find you.”
“That is the reason?”
“Of course. You have always been the only reason for me. You know this. Or have you forgotten in your new life here?”
“Am I the reason you have done terrible things? In the name of finding me? Avenging me?”
“No, that is not what I meant.”
“Then what?”
He let out a breath. “Everything I have done since I learned you three were gone, and I was free of those damn quests, has been to make certain that no one ever makes me a prisoner again. I will be free even if I have to destroy a thousand worlds. I have tracked down some of those who helped Everon, and they are dead now. They cannot do anything further to any of us again.”
“So it was for all of us?”
“No. No, it was for me, Eriana. You have your demons and I have mine. You can tell me as many times as you like that none of this was my fault, that it was just Everon and his band of vengeance seekers who trapped us in the quests, but it will always come back to me. You have never admitted that there is any truth to this.”
“I’m sorry for that. I didn’t want you to feel responsible. To valida–”
“It was too late!”
“None of us blamed you.”
“It doesn’t matter. I blamed me. If anything, you guys forgiving me just made it worse. Isn’t anyone going to hold a grudge?”
“None of us want us to be like the Betrayer. Everon was wrong.”
“Yes, I know. All three of you were always more noble than me. We all knew it. And I don’t begrudge you for it.”
“We were not more noble than you. I always knew you felt that way. It’s why you always made snide remarks at Korrin. I don’t know why you have a hard time admitting that you are a good man.”
“Well, I’m not anymore. Isn’t that what we’re agreeing on here?”
She gestured futility and remarked with a light tone, “I’m mostly hearing us argue, not agree to anything.”
He smiled insincerely. “Well, at least we can agree to that.”
“So what now? The imposters, as you call them, aren’t here. They are good people, Soli. They don’t deserve what has happened to them any more than we did. Even less.”
“Yes, so this is also my fault.”
She sighed. “That’s not where I was going with that. Stop that.” He didn’t respond, and she continued, “They would answer your questions without an interrogation. They answered mine.”
His tone became aggressive. “What did they tell you?”
“That’s between me and them.”
“I can find out, you know.”
She glared at him and softly observed, “If you ever cast that spell on me, me never forgiving you will be the least of your problems.”
He held still and then laughed under his breath. “You are the only person on a thousand worlds who can get away with threatening me.”
“I’m honored. But I think you need to leave.”
Soliander shook his head. “Come with me.”
“No.”
“Eriana, please. I just found you. Do not make me leave this planet without you again. It was an accident last time and I’m certainly not doing it again, especially on purpose.”
“I must help them, because you will not.”
“They appear to be doing fine from what I’ve heard.”
Eriana shook her head. “They are struggling, especially when they come back. They do not have Home Rings and it is causing very serious problems.”
“Well, Matt seems powerful enough to create one. I’m sure they’ll solve that problem soon enough.”
“I know you are upset about the situation we were in, and yet you are so cold and callous about them being in one that is even worse.”
Soliander sighed. “I am tired of ever caring about anyone other than myself, because all it does is cause me pain. And it is all because I lost you. No matter what you say, it was my fault. I thought I had killed you. Do you understand? Please, at least tell me
