"Thank God." She smiled as she listened to Nikki's laugh. "Hey, Nik? What do you say to some company for lunch? I haven't seen Dani or Madison for almost a week."
"Are you trying to avoid a little alone time with me?"
"No, why would you think that?" Nikki shrugged. "Please tell me."
"It's just that you've asked me if you could spend time alone with your computer today, and now you want to have other people come over. That doesn't leave much time for us, does it?"
Alex took a deep breath and tried to tamp her feelings of anxiety down. She knew that she was hearing more in Nikki's tone than was intended. "I see your point. I'll tell you what, how about I wait to work on the book? If they are available, we can have your family over for an early dinner, say five? That should give us plenty of time together this afternoon."
"You'd do that? You'd give up your work for me and my family?"
Alex smiled and nodded. "Today, yes. That won't always be the answer, but today I can say yes."
When they reached the house, Alex made a call to Rachel and scheduled an early dinner. "I really need to talk to you, Ray. I need help understanding some behaviors, and how to change them. I'm really sorry to bother you on your day off."
"It's okay, Alex. For you I don't mind. We'll be there."
"Thank you." Alex hung up the phone and went to let Nikki know they were on for an early dinner.
They spent the next several hours together talking about everything under the sun as they learned more about each other. Nikki told Alex about when she determined she was gay, and the difficulties she and Dani faced with their parents when they both came out. "What about you?" she asked.
Alex sat quietly for a moment as she thought about that time in her life. "I knew I was different early on, I just didn't have a name for it. I guess I finally understood it and what it meant when I was twelve."
"Was coming out to your family difficult?"
"I was closeted for a very long time. I didn't come out until I was in my late twenties. It was very difficult for me for entirely different reasons than it was for you. I never had to worry about my family's condemnation, because I didn't have one." She watched as Nikki fought not to ask questions. When she swallowed the unasked questions, and simply nodded her head in understanding, Alex felt her emotions rise. She was overwhelmed by guilt and disgust with herself that her friends were afraid to ask her things, and a growing affection for the woman that understood and honored her wishes. She reached out and clasped Nikki's hand. "Thank you for understanding and not asking the questions I can tell are eating away at you."
She brought Alex's hand to her lips, and tenderly kissed the soft skin. "I trust you to tell me when you're ready."
Alex took a deep breath and began to trust Nikki with parts of her past. "I told you I have no family other than the one I've chosen." Nikki nodded and squeezed her hand in support. "I lost my immediate family when I was very young. I know I have blood relatives out there somewhere, but I've never met them. I'm not sure I want to. They abandoned my mother when she married my father, and when she died they left me to be raised in foster care. They had plenty of time to find me and never even tried. Instead I went through more than forty different homes in fourteen years."
Nikki's eyes widened. "I can't imagine what you've been through."
"They say there is a reason for everything. I never found the reason for the loss of my family. As I grew up, I was able to better myself and even became semi-famous. I made a decent amount of money and had a good life." She looked at Nikki with a deep sadness in her eyes. "While it was wonderful, I never asked for it and would give it all back for more time with them." She walked over to the window and looked out upon the lake. "Don't waste whatever time you have left with your family, Nikki. You never know when they'll be gone and the chance will be lost forever."
Nikki walked over and placed her arms around Alex, holding her close. "Thank you for sharing this with me. I never looked at our disagreement with my parents like that. I will find a way to bridge the chasm that has grown between us somehow." She pressed her cheek into the softness of her hair and inhaled the sweet scent of coconut. Alex took the comfort offered and relaxed into her embrace.
Alex met Dani and Rachel at the door when they arrived, and pointed Dani and Madison to the kitchen where Nikki was beginning to prepare dinner. With a quick thank you, she ushered Rachel down the stairs and into the basement. There they began to discuss her issues with the abuse inflicted upon her by Jo, and how it was still affecting her relationships and decisions.
Dani took Madison's hand and led her to the kitchen. Nikki stood at the island preparing chicken to be marinated. "Hey, sis, need some help?"
Nikki looked up and said, "Hey yourself." She looked down at Madison with a smile. "How's my favorite girl in the whole world?"
Madison ran up to her and wrapped her arms around one leg. "Hi, Aunt Nikki."
Dani guided her daughter to the kitchen table, and pulled crayons and a coloring book from her bag. "Why don't you sit here and color Aunt Nikki a pretty picture while we start dinner, okay?" Madison happily sat at the table and began to color.
When Dani turned
