Alex felt her own hot tears as they ran down her cheeks. She limped over, turned the shower on, and stepped under the flow of water to wash away the chlorine and tears from her skin. Turning the water off, she felt Nikki step up behind her and wrap a towel and her arms around her. "You're going to get wet if you’re not careful."
She heard the smile in Nikki's voice when she whispered, "What's new?" Stepping out of Nikki's arms, she turned to her with a confused expression. "You always get me wet, Alex."
She reached out and gave Nikki a shove as she felt the heat rise in her cheeks.
Before Nikki could respond, Dani walked up to Alex and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, I had no idea."
"It's okay, really." She stepped back and looked at her three new friends. She was a little surprised at how quickly they had become important to her. "I've never told anyone before, not even Jo or Emily, but you needed to know so you could understand the effect your decision could have." She gave Dani a look that conveyed an understanding of the pain life could bring. "Just remember that they are human too. Try to put aside your differences for Madison's sake." Dani nodded and wiped a tear from her eye.
Nikki cleared her throat and Alex looked her way. "Now that we have that out of the way, how about you put some clothes on and we go back outside?"
Alex batted her eyelashes as she gave Nikki a sultry look. "But I thought you liked my bathing suit." She slowly dropped the towel to the floor, revealing her well-toned, curvaceous body. She watched Nikki's eyes as they moved downward with the towel. Her gaze was like a caress across her skin as it was revealed inch by inch.
Nikki swallowed as the towel hit the floor. "Oh, I do. I'm just not sure how I feel about other people seeing you in it too." Alex quickly wrapped herself in the towel, grabbed her clothes, and hobbled to the dressing room with her head bowed. As the door closed softly behind her Nikki whispered, "Shit."
Dani stepped up beside her and bumped her shoulder as she asked, "Are you really jealous of Rachel and me seeing Alex in her bathing suit?"
"No. It's hard to explain."
"Why don't you give it a try?"
She frowned as she thought about what was really bothering her. "She is breathtakingly beautiful, and I would be proud to take her anywhere and tell everyone I meet that she's mine. Not in a possessive way, but just proud that, out of all the people in the world, she chose me. There would be no jealousy because I would know that she wasn't interested in anyone but me."
Dani smiled as Nikki revealed the depth of her love. "So why aren't you screaming it from the rooftops?"
Nikki looked at her with traces of pain in her eyes, and her feelings of joy slipped away. "She's not mine. I can only hope that she will be one day."
"You mean you two haven't…" Nikki shook her head. "It's obvious you have chemistry, so what's the problem?"
They were all startled when Alex answered from several feet behind them. "Trust, or my lack thereof." She walked over and hung her suit and towel from one of the hooks near the shower.
Dani crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "You mean you don't trust Nikki?"
The only sound in the room for several moments was the steady dripping of water as it fell from the wet bathing suit to the tile floor. When Alex finally looked up, her pain was clearly visible. "I don't trust anyone, least of all myself." Without waiting for a reaction, she turned and headed for the door.
Rachel knew that she had made progress, but was just unable to see it. "That's not true, Alex. You've—"
Alex held up her hand, halting the next words from Rachel's mouth. "Can we talk about this later, Ray? I really don't think I can take much more tonight."
"Of course."
As they turned off the lights and exited the building, Dani stepped up beside Alex and asked, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" With a sigh of resignation Alex shook her head. "Why do you call her Ray?"
As she tried to decide if she was going to answer, she heard Rachel speak up from behind her. "Because she trusts me." As what she said hit home, Alex stopped abruptly, nearly causing a collision with Dani. She slowly turned around and looked at Rachel. She saw Rachel's look of support and understanding, and realized that it was true.
She slowly nodded and with a deep breath said, "Thank you."
Rachel walked up and pulled her into her arms. "You don't need to thank me, you did that all on your own." She pulled away slightly in order to look into her eyes, ensuring she got her point across. "You chose to trust me before we started working together. I think you trust Dani and Nikki more than you realize too. We'll talk about it more on Monday, but I want you to think about it." With a dip of her head, Alex agreed and they continued over to the small seating area where Maria waited with a still sleeping Madison.
Maria watched her closely as she made her way over and sat down beside her. She reached out and lightly rubbed her arm. "I'm glad to see you have friends that are good to you, and can help you through these troubling times, darling. I have prayed for this for many years
