The sergeant was leaning on my desk. “Connie,” he nodded at me. “When you’ve ironed your shirt, come see me in my office.”
Nobody has ever gotten away with a wrinkled uniform, it was pointless to hope that the doubtful state of mine would go unnoticed. To prevent any employee from using the excuse of not having had enough time at home, or even not owning an iron, the station was adequately equipped. I bowed my head humbly and went to carry out the sergeant’s order. Emma joined me after a moment, shock in her eyes.
“What took you so long? If I have to cover for you, I need to know what’s happening!”
“I’m sorry Em. I overslept.”
I undid the buttons of my shirt, took it off and started ironing it without looking at my friend. I simply couldn’t.
“I called you a few times. Why didn’t you pick up?”
I felt my back pocket and found it empty. “Left my phone at home.”
“You’ve never been late in the last six years, and as far as I remember you’ve never forgotten to call the station when something was up. Not even when you were sick after chemo or when you went into premature labour. Come on Connie, spill it! What the hell is going on with you?”
I was quiet and took deep breaths to keep my emotions under control.
“You don’t want to tell me now, fine. You promised we’d get together at the weekend. I’ll pick you up tomorrow evening, we’ll go for a drink and I won’t let you leave without an explanation.”
“Alright,” I agreed. At the end of the day, it didn’t really matter whether I had six months left or only two. Sooner or later I would stop going to work and Emma, as my friend, had to prepare for that. And so would the sergeant.
“Alright,” replied Emma, surprised. She clearly didn’t expect that to be so easy.
Before going back to the front where a sizable group of clients had started to form, she hugged me tightly, and I walked over to the sergeant’s office, shaking like a leaf.
“The uniform is alright now,” he assessed my state and in the same breath continued, “but I can’t say the same about you. Your performance and discipline are slipping, and let me tell you, I wasn’t expecting this from you of all people. I’ve known you for quite a few years now, and this isn’t you… What’s going on, Connie?”
I took a deep breath and closed the door. If I have to share my secret, let it be only with the selected few. There’s no need for this to spread.
“I have cancer,” I said bluntly, but that didn’t stop the tears springing to my eyes. They’d become a part of my daily life, I was starting to get sick of it. I didn’t want to leave the sergeant in any doubt, so I added: “Advanced stage.”
It looked like Dad was really going to be the last one to know. It took so much courage and strength to tell my boss, how on earth am I supposed to find it in me to tell my family, which means the world to me?
The sergeant gave me the expected condolences. I told him with complete honesty that I had no idea how long I’d keep coming to work, and answered his tactful questions. He excused my late arrival today and my absentmindedness in the last few weeks, and let me go to my desk with a sad sigh.
I expected my shift to drag, but it sped past me in a blur, and was over before I knew it. I didn’t remember the conversations with colleagues or today’s clients, and didn’t stop to rectify my ignorance. I just grabbed my purse, mumbled: “See ya!” and took off on my afternoon quest.
Mark
“What if she turns us in?” Andrew tried to stay calm, but his hands were shaking and the vein on his temple was throbbing.
“She won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
I shrugged. “I just am.”
Andrew took a step closer, so that we were almost chest to chest. I’d seen him disturbed, even angry, because of the world events many times, the only exception to his usually reserved character. I’d never seen him angry at me.
“I may not know the Fialas as thoroughly as you do, I know you’d been observing them three years longer than me,” I explained, “but I know people. When it comes down to it, they will always put their family’s safety above everything and everyone else, believe me. Connie won’t turn us in, because she cares too much about knowing that her family will survive all this. She won’t stand in the way… I’d even say she’ll end up helping us. She’ll be back to talk, you’ll see.”
He threw his hands in frustration. “How can you know that?”
“Because she’s standing right behind you.”
She’d appeared a few seconds ago, listened attentively to our conversation and I didn’t stop him talking on purpose. I remembered my own past doubts, I wanted her to hear Andrew talking about our plans, to see it’s not just some game.
Andrew spun around and looked at her with sharp eyes. She was standing in the corridor, slightly hesitant, probably waiting to be invited in. I couldn’t help but notice how pale she was, with dark circles under her eyes, I think it was clear she’d had a sleepless night. That was good, she clearly believed me.
“I’ll be at my desk,” uttered Andrew and walked away swiftly.
The whole floor was empty except for the three of us, most people had finished almost an hour ago. When my colleague retreated more or less out of sight, it was just Connie and me. For a while we just looked at each other. Why wasn’t she saying anything? I half expected her to start yelling at me, but she was just standing there quietly.
“How about we have some coffee and sit down?” I pointed at the armchairs and sofa.
She nodded and
