I’d only added a few of my own things and used most of the space for Dad and Ruby. Since Dad had only packed a few clothes and other essentials, I decided to bring over most of the stuff he’d left behind. I also added more of Ruby’s clothes and some toys, mainly those that would occupy her for a longer time. When they’re stuck in their hideaway in Rotorua, how will they fill all those empty days? Instead of stuffed toys I decided to pack several boxes of puzzles and games, LEGOs, colouring books, a thick empty notebook with crayons and a sharpener, Barbie and Ken dolls, a big box of beads and nylon threads for Ruby. I packed some new books I’d picked up at the nearest bookshop, a book of crosswords, and a sudoku for Dad.
It was a lot easier to fall asleep than I would have thought. It took several hours of blissful unconsciousness before the first nightmare found its way to my mind. Sick figures were staggering through a world I didn’t recognise. Flesh peeling away from their bones in large chunks, their eyes set deep within their skulls. They groaned and clawed at me, leaving bits of skin, nails and flesh on my arms. What did they want from me? To help them? They were clearly beyond anybody’s help!
I jerked awake, breathing heavily to calm myself down. I sincerely hoped that I wouldn’t look like that when the end was near. Ruby would never recover from that sight.
I didn’t dare take a sleeping pill for fear of missing my flight. I spent the rest of the night tossing around in bed, checking the time every few minutes but it seemed time had stopped.
The sound of my phone ringing just before dawn felt like salvation.
“Did we wake you?” Dad asked apologetically. “Ruby couldn’t wait any longer. We’ve been up for a few hours and you’re all she’s talking about. We had to call you.”
I remembered the time difference, the two of them must have gotten used to it fairly quickly. “Not at all. Actually, I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
“You seem tired,” Dad admitted without hesitation. “Must be travel anxiety.”
I latched onto that. “I’ll calm down as soon as I’m with you again. I’m sure I’ll be able to sleep better after that.”
I felt an unbelievable sense of relief that I didn’t have to go through that terrifying conversation, telling Dad the news. That I wouldn’t be going to New Zealand and they were on their own. The effect of it was so positive that I managed to talk to them almost happily, and even crack a few jokes.
I reached the airport early. It hardly mattered if I waited there or at home, but I wanted to be sure I wouldn’t miss the flight because of some traffic accident.
It had taken a few hours and my high spirits were gone. I started to have doubts again. Was going to New Zealand the right thing to do? What if The Collective scientists had made a mistake in the equation? Was there some possibility that Dad and Ruby could be infected by me, despite the vaccine? What if I ended up being the one who gave them the plague?
I could still change my mind but why should I? Ross had sworn that Dad and Ruby would be absolutely fine and that contact with infected people would cause them no harm.
Anyway, a reunion with Dad and Ruby was the only light at the end of a tunnel, and I was selfish enough to succumb to the need to see them again.
I sat down on a nearby bench, put my suitcase down next to me and kept an eye on the departure board. Time was dragging as much as last night, but I didn’t mind. I could already see myself getting off the plane and running towards an overjoyed Ruby and a relieved Dad.
A short chirp alerted me to an incoming text from Mark. “What are you up to?”
“I’m at the airport.” He could do whatever he wanted with that information. I’m getting on that plane no matter what, nobody can stop me.
“That’s a good idea.”
I frowned and it took a while to realise what he meant. He clearly assumed that I’d come to the airport with the single purpose to infect more people. There were heaps of them around. Given how much I was sneezing and coughing, I would definitely end up doing that. But it wasn’t my intention now.
“I wanted to make sure you’re ok, Connie.”
I thought about all the people I’d infected yesterday. I had felt a certain sense of satisfaction at the police station, but what about at the protest? I hadn’t felt good about that at all, only guilty. If Andrew and Mark were right and the death rate was a hundred percent, the people from the street would have died either way. But it had been my fault.
Have I become a monster? Was I only after my own needs and my own survival? Not my own survival, I corrected myself. The survival of my loved ones.
“Are any of us really ok?” I texted back.
He replied straight away. “I guess not…” And after a moment: “Do you want company?”
What if he tried to change my mind and stay? “I need to be alone today.”
“Alright.” he typed and became silent. I felt sorry for him. I had the reunion with my family to look forward to now, but what did he have? Would he die alone?
After that I tried not to think about anything to do with The Collective. I focused on imagining Ruby at the festival yesterday, screaming in delight at
