Her smile said it all, she told me she would tack up a couple of the horses while I unpacked the car. I thanked her and dragged my holdall upstairs to the flat, loading washing into the machine before changing into breeches and boots.
* * *
“Hi there, I saw your car was back!” I dropped my case and walked towards Amanda, taking her in my arms and hugging her tightly. “How are you coping?”
“Oh Dan, that’s a leading question. Kate’s in pieces, I was trying to hold myself together, Adam is… Well, he’s in the shit and I can’t see a way out of it. What about you, how’s the case going?”
“Mandy… It’s tough, we’re so close to getting what we need. We had a tip-off and I think we are less than a week away from national raids.”
“It’s a big one?”
“It would represent taking millions of pounds of drugs off the streets, but it’s all up in the air. You know how it is, anything could happen.”
“And that’s why I knew I needed to be here for you. No… I can’t do much more for Kate, and as for Adam… Look you need me, and my God, I need you, Dan!”
We embraced again; I felt the tension in her body as I’m sure she felt it in mine. I’d tried all I could to find out more about Adam’s case but there was very little which I was allowed to know. The bottom line was he was screwed and I felt for Amanda, having only just found her brother again I knew the thought of losing him was scaring her to death.”
* * *
The farmhouse seemed cold and empty. Night had fallen and I was alone, the distant lights were twinkling across the bay and, closer to home there were still lights on in the grooms’ flat. I grabbed my coat and stepped out of the back door.
I climbed up the familiar stairs and knocked on the door. Jacqueline opened it. “Kate? Are you okay?” I had intended just to see the staff were okay, but, instead, I stood on the stone landing and burst into tears. “Oh, Kate! Babe… Come in.”
The flat was warm, the girls quickly surrounded me, I was hugged and taken to the sofa where a mug of hot chocolate was placed in my hands. I blinked looking around at my staff.
“Oh girls, I’m sorry…”
“Kate… You’re going through hell. Don’t be alone, you can stay with us if you like. There’s the spare room and, well, I’m sure you need company.”
I snuffled and muttered apologies, wiping my eyes.
It was so good to be back amongst the girls. The conversation was stilted but just being amongst friends meant so much. Caroline brought out a set of PJ’s.
“Look stay here tonight, you can borrow these. I’ve made up the spare room with clean sheets.”
I lost it again, gulping and crying. Their hugs were cathartic and made me feel as if I could carry on. The spare room was clean and tidy, Caroline had put the bedside light on which made it feel cosy. I undressed and slipped into the clean sheets.
* * *
I was bolting. Oh God, the wind in my face, and snow or hail stinging my cheeks. I pulled up on the reins but the horse just wouldn’t stop no matter what I did.
“Keep calm Kate!” I told myself, but my voice was quaking at what seemed to be the inevitable disaster ahead. Suddenly the reins went slack, the bit had snapped. I panicked, oh God, the main road was ahead of us.
I pulled hard left, but without the bit in his mouth, my horse was out of control. The sound of hooves hitting the tarmac and then the horse slipped. The horse was falling and I was falling too. I screamed until I hit the ground hard and blacked out.
I woke with a start, my head pounding. Reaching up I touched a tender spot on my forehead where an egg-like lump was forming. I tried to sit up in the half-light. Oh God, it had been a dream, but my head? I looked down, there was a smear of blood on the corner of the bedside cabinet. I stupidly must have hit my head on the corner of the cabinet as I’d writhed in my sleep. Only I could be as stupid as to almost knock myself out in bed.
I stood up, my head spinning. Oh no, now I knew I was risking concussion, how the hell do I tell people I’d done this? It was funny how the humiliation of the situation stung more deeply than the pain in my head. What a stupid thing to do, hitting my head on the bedside table. It was so stupid, who could make a mistake like…
I froze.
* * *
I rolled over; my phone was ringing beside the bed. I’d been in a deep sleep, Dan’s arm around my shoulders. It was the first proper rest since this had all happened and was angry at the interruption. I snapped up the phone. “What?”
“Amanda!”
“Kate… What the hell is the time? Shit! Sorry, sorry… Are you okay?”
“No, I’m fine I had a bad dream, then this stupid accident, I hit my head but…”
“Look, Kate, if you had a nightmare can I please suggest you go back to sleep and let me do the same. I’ll call you first thing in the morning.” I hit the end call button and slammed the phone down. It hadn’t touched the surface when it was ringing again. “Kate!”
“No, I’m sorry. But it just got me thinking. The CCTV. Have you got access to it there, I know what Hilary was about to tell us?”
“What?” Suddenly I was awake. I sat up in
