My eyes have already filled with tears. I feel like I know where this is going, where it will end up. I want to cry for Auntie Suzy, who has been taking care of other people so selflessly since she was just a child herself. And for my mother, who began a hard life with such joy.
It doesn’t feel like I can cry yet, though. So I hold my breath and fight back the tears, waiting for Auntie Suzy to continue.
“Even when our father disapproved of the things we did, we always had each other. When I became Nikkei Week Queen and fell in love with Och, Grace helped me. Covered for me when we went on dates, things like that. She was convinced that one day our father would approve and we’d all live happily ever after, as a family.” Auntie Suzy’s jaw tightens, her smile twisting. “I knew that would never happen. And when Grace started acting, started having these fanciful dreams of pursuing it as a career . . . well, I knew our father wouldn’t like that, either. But I helped her however I could. At that point, Och and I had gotten married and opened our restaurant, so I would give her money for school play costumes and acting classes, things like that. And I always sent her flowers on opening night.”
I picture my mother, only fifteen, her eyes lighting up as she’s handed a dreamy bouquet of pink flowers. Somehow I just know they were pink.
“And then . . .” Auntie Suzy’s gaze darkens. “She got pregnant. Some boy who was in the play with her—and I’m so sorry, Rika-chan, but I don’t know who he was. Rumor has it that he and his family moved away right after, wanting a fresh start. But there was no fresh start for Grace.” Auntie Suzy takes a deep breath, and I feel like I can practically see inside her brain—all the memories she’s tried to forget for so many years.
“I told her not to tell our father,” Auntie Suzy continues. “I knew that would only end badly. But one of the things about Grace . . . she was always so convinced of people’s inherent goodness. She thought that if he loved her, he’d come around. But of course, he didn’t. Instead of giving her a safe place to land, he threatened to disown us both. He couldn’t believe he’d raised . . .” Her voice catches, but she shakes it off, soldiering on. “Two degenerates,” she spits out. “I wanted to stand up to him, to tell him I was sick of how he’d made both of us feel worthless. To disown him. But Grace . . .” She shakes her head. “She knew that would be catastrophic for me and Och and our little fledgling restaurant. Our father was a powerful elder figure in the Little Tokyo community, and he could very likely get other elders to boycott the restaurant—which would only spread until we had no business at all. He could have gotten all of Little Tokyo to turn their backs on us—something he’d certainly threatened to do before.”
I feel a small hand take mine, forcing me to let go of my shirt. I look over to see Rory, her eyes as big as dinner plates. She’s so invested in where this is going. Belle is sitting on her other side, so she’s kind of sandwiched in between us. I see Belle take Rory’s other hand and look up to catch her eye. We share a small, impulsive smile. I can’t help but feel like we’re cradling Rory, holding her close to us—like Auntie Suzy tried to do with Grace.
“Grace told me she’d give the baby up for adoption,” Auntie Suzy continues. “But I could tell that would break her heart—shatter her beyond fixing.” She turns away from the window and meets my gaze, and there is something so tender lighting her eyes. Something I’ve never really seen before from her. “She always wanted you, Rika-chan. That was never in doubt.”
Something twists in my chest, and I can only nod quickly, my eyes going to the floor.
“So we came up with a plan. Och and I would take the baby in. Grace would disappear. We’d say she died in childbirth. And as outlandish as this sounds, it actually wasn’t that hard to do. At that point, everyone knew she was pregnant, and everyone was talking. But no one showed up to support. As much as we go on around here about family being so important, I guess a pregnant fifteen-year-old was just too much for people to handle.”
A few of the older people in the room hang their heads, shamed. And rightfully so, I think.
“Many people shunned her, just pretended she didn’t exist. I had gotten her set up at a hospital that wasn’t anywhere near Little Tokyo—the same hospital where I had Belle, just months before. My father never came with us. So when I returned from the hospital with a baby and a story about how my little sister had died . . . well. I think he was relieved, to be honest.” Auntie Suzy’s eyes flash with anger. This particular rage has never left her—it’s just been buried very deeply for the past seventeen years. “Grace and I decided that she would set herself up with a new last name and a different life and hide out until either the taint of scandal faded or our father passed away. She lied about her age and got odd jobs waitressing and cleaning houses, and of course I sent her money whenever I could. Strangely, because I had taken in the baby”—she frowns, turning back to the window—“my father decided he could tolerate my other . . . ‘transgressions.’ I guess it was just such a good Japanese-daughter thing to do. Perhaps the only time in my life I was ever a good Japanese daughter, in his estimation.”
Her face twists into a bitter smile.
“Our father did pass away eventually, but the scandal never
