“But Karl said you’re a stippster. And I said you’re not. And then he pushed me. He’s stupid.”
“Don’t call him stupid. And what’s a stippster?”
Luca looked at me earnestly and folded his hands on his lap. He was sitting next to me on the front step of our house. Lena was playing with her dolls on the porch, giving us a rare moment to talk.
“A stippster takes off clothes. That’s what Karl said.”
My heart stopped and my breath hitched.
While it wasn’t exactly what I did, it wasn’t far off. The clothes I wore at work barely covered all my bits. And my coworkers took their clothes off for money. But I thought I had time left before my job would embarrass my kids.
I had no hope of finding another job in a town as small as Humptulips. I’d tried. And was still trying. My day job wouldn’t be enough to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.
I’d been slowly building a cushion, but it wouldn’t last long. And it definitely wouldn’t allow me to quit one of my jobs.
“I don’t take my clothes off at work. I only serve drinks,” I explained, struggling to get the words out.
I didn’t want Luca to have to face reality just yet. He was still so little. The thought of him thinking less of me made me want to throw up.
“He said his dad saw you. And that you’re going to hell. I don’t want you to go to hell. It’s too hot. And you don’t like the heat.”
I took his hand in mine, making sure he was looking at me. “Well, his dad is a hypocritical pumpernickel. But regardless of what he said, you’re not allowed to bite people, okay?”
Luca seemed to think about it for a moment and then turned his innocent gaze back to me. “What if I just did it a little bit? Just until he stopped talking?”
“No, not even a little bit. Just stay away from him. He doesn’t sound like he’s making good choices. And if he keeps listening to his dad, he’s going to end up a middle-aged divorced man with a bald patch and no friends.”
He got up, clearly done with this conversation. “Can I go play now?”
“Sure,” I said and pulled him close for a hug. “But stay where I can see you.”
Luca ran off, and I watched him collect leaves that had fallen off the big oak tree in our backyard. I felt someone behind me and sighed. The last person I wanted to witness this conversation was Sebastian, but since he’d pretty much moved in, it was hard to avoid him.
He was sleeping on my couch, only going into work when I did and not letting me go anywhere without him. I thought he was taking things a little far. He didn’t agree.
That was pretty much how all our interactions went. He said left, I went right.
Since Sebastian wasn’t big on talking either, I was quite certain he wouldn’t start up a conversation. What I didn’t expect was him taking a seat next to me.
We sat there in companionable silence, watching the kids. His phone pinged a few times, and when it wouldn’t stop going off, he glanced at it and stood up with a sigh.
A single tear rolled down my cheek, the only one I’d allow. I had to grow thicker skin. And have a chat with Karl’s dad.
I had to go into work tonight and needed to get myself together before then. Stella was coming over to babysit, and she would immediately know if something was wrong.
And since the best way to get my mind off my sucky life was to play with my kids, that’s exactly what I did.
After digging in the sandbox for an hour and pushing the little gremlins on the swing at the playground for almost as long, I declared it was time for dinner. I also had to leave for work soon, whether I wanted to or not.
Stella arrived just as Lena and Luca were finishing their pasta. She burst into the kitchen as usual and threw her arms around me.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages,” she declared.
“You’re here almost every day. And the days you’re not here we talk on the phone.”
She squeezed me again and let go. “How are my little angels?”
“Luca bit someone in school today, and Lena decided she doesn’t like the color red anymore. So no more red food or clothes.”
Stella greeted the kids with a kiss on their heads. “You’re missing out, kiddo. Your mom makes the best Bolognese sauce.”
“Ready to go?” Sebastian asked, walking into the kitchen while typing on his phone.
I took a deep breath. “Ready.”
“Mommy work?” Lena asked, looking at me while she continued shoveling cheesy pasta in her mouth.
“That’s right, cherub, I have to go to work. And Stella is going to stay with you.”
She nodded, used to me not being there at night all the time. And it broke my heart that she was so used to it, that this was the norm, that I wasn’t the one putting my kids to bed every night.
I kissed her chubby cheek, then Luca’s, and reluctantly waved goodbye. We walked to Sebastian’s bike and he got on, then held the purple helmet out for me.
“Is it a normal thing for you guys to have purple helmets lying around the clubhouse?” I asked, still curious as to where it had come from.
“Just put it on. We’re going to be late again,” he grumbled.
I sighed but put it on and took his outstretched hand. He helped me up on the bike, and once my body was flush to his and my arms were wrapped around him, we took off.
The ride was amazing, and I felt invincible once we pulled up outside the club. But as soon as I took off my helmet and handed it back to Sebastian, reality crashed in around me and my breath
