“Let me explain. Please,” Sebastian said, his tone wavering. For the first time since I’d met him, he sounded unsure. “I don’t know what you think you heard, but you got it all wrong.”
“There’s nothing to explain. I got the message loud and clear,” I said, then turned on my heel and ran. A strangled shout for me to stop sounded from behind, but I didn’t stop until I was in my bedroom with the door shut.
We never even had the chance to become anything before it all fell apart.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“You look like shit,” Malena said, sweeping her eyes over my face. “Please tell me that’s not actual shit on your brow.”
I glanced at my reflection in the hallway mirror and swiped a finger across my eyebrow. A closer look confirmed it was only applesauce.
“Not poo, just the food Lena threw at me this morning,” I said.
After washing my hands, I joined Malena at the kitchen table. Lena was currently asleep, and Malena was spending her lunch break at my house.
Sebastian had been gone when I got up this morning, avoiding any awkward encounters. Gears was back in his post across the street, and things were as they were before.
Well, almost.
So far there was no sign of Jim or my stalker, but it was still early in the morning. Who knew what the day would bring?
Malena raised a brow at me, linking her fingers on top of the table. “Start talking. I only have twenty minutes before I have to go back to the office.”
I sighed but had already decided to tell her everything. “Jim screwed up and pissed off the wrong people. They want the money he owes them and think I’m the way to get it. Sebastian is part of the people he screwed over, and he’s responsible for watching me.”
I stopped, gauging her reaction so far. She was staring at me slack-jawed, unblinking.
I forged on, the dam now open and the words flowing. “We hooked up. For him it was just a way to get off, but for me it was so much more. He made me feel special, like I was important to him. It was stupid, and I should have known it would never lead to anything. But I did it anyway because no matter what, I couldn’t shake the attraction I felt for him. I’ve never felt this way for anyone. Not even Jim.”
“Oh, chiquita,” Malena said, getting up.
I met her halfway and fell into her arms, giving a choked laugh. “I’m so stupid.”
“You’re naïve, not stupid. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s what makes you so special. Despite all the shit life has piled on you, you’re still optimistic and—most of all—happy.”
My heart ached with sorrow, and I closed my eyes in an attempt to ward off the misery that was building inside. I wasn’t feeling very happy in that moment.
“What do I do now?” I asked, holding her tight.
“You dust yourself off and move the fuck on. Nobody who treats you like that is worth your pain.”
I shook my head, not moving out of the safety of her embrace. Closing my eyes seemed like a solid strategy to cope with life.
Malena had other ideas, taking my arms and moving me a step back. “Querida, you’re stronger than this.”
“But I’m not.”
She leaned closer, making sure I was paying attention. “Yes you are.”
We stayed like that, eyes locked, both waiting for the other one to say something.
“Mom,” Lena’s sleepy voice interrupted us.
She was walking into the kitchen, her feet shuffling along the floor.
“Hey, baby girl,” I said, picking her up and cuddling her close. She snuggled into my arms, making me forget some of my heartache.
“Cute outfit. Did you dress yourself today, guapa?” Malena asked, eyeing Lena’s pink and white striped dress and red and orange polka-dot tights.
“No, I did,” I said, sticking my tongue out at Malena.
“At least you’ll always be able to see her, even in the dark,” Malena said and picked up her bag, winking at me. “Call me tonight?”
“I will. Thanks for coming over.”
She hugged us and kissed Lena’s head. “Anytime.”
I worked the rest of the day, watching the clock, every passing minute bringing me closer to seeing Sebastian again. No matter how much he hurt me, the invisible connection pulling me to him was still there.
I picked Luca up with Gears trailing us. After asking where Sebastian was when he didn’t come along to pick him up, Luca chattered the whole way back.
“Why do you have to works tonight?” Luca asked later that night when he was getting ready for bed. I was once again running late, but apparently so was Sebastian.
“Because I need to earn money,” I said. He was a bit young to understand why people had to work, but I tried my best to explain it to him.
“Buts we got money,” he said, stepping into his pajama pants.
“We do because I have a job. If I didn’t go anymore, then we wouldn’t have any money and would have to sleep in a tent.”
I hadn’t thought that through properly, because sleeping in a tent was an exciting prospect for my kids.
“I wants to sleep in a tent,” Luca cried.
Lena joined him. “Me too.”
“Who’s going to sleep in a tent?” Stella asked, appearing in the door.
“Me, because Mom is staying home,” Luca said with a big smile.
Stella looked at me with a smirk on her face. “Is that right?”
I caught Luca and lifted him, making sure I had his attention. “Sleeping in a tent isn’t really a good idea. Especially not when it’s cold. I’ll still have to go to work.”
He slumped in my arms, and his bottom lip quivered. “But I love tents.”
“How about we put one up in the living room?” Stella suggested.
“Small problem,” I said, putting Luca back on his feet. “I don’t have one.”
Her excitement didn’t falter. “I’ll message
