He couldn’t help wondering—and worrying just a little—about her reticence. Something crucial seemed to be missing from their relationship. There was some part of her that she wasn’t sharing, that she was holding back as if she feared he might trample on something she held dear.
What more could he do, though? He thought he had made it clear to her that he believed in them, believed in their marriage. He had even agreed to look for a new headquarters for his company, one closer to home, just because she had told him how important that was to her. Surely that gesture should have reassured her that his intentions toward their future were serious.
Dammit, he should have been on top of the world. He had gotten exactly what he wanted. He had a family now, a defensive barrier against another stupid mistake with the wrong woman. He had been granted the unexpected gift of a warm, passionate wife. He even had a precious little girl, whom he couldn’t have loved more if she’d been his own.
What was happening to him? Why did it suddenly seem to matter so much whether Kelly cared half as deeply for him as he was beginning to suspect he did for her? They were married, committed to vows they both held sacred. Still, he wanted more, some indefinable thing he didn’t know how to describe, much less fight for.
He had seen it, though. He had seen it between his parents, a glow that came over them whenever they were in the same room. He had felt it every time he’d been with Luke, Jessie, and little Angela. He had seen the radiance on Jessie’s face whenever she glanced at Luke. He had caught the unmistakable pride and adoration on his brother’s face each time Luke glimpsed Jessie or the baby. As with his parents, the air around Luke and Jessie hummed with the electricity of their love. No one lucky enough to be in their presence could ever doubt the depth of their feelings for one another. That was what he wanted.
There were times like now when Jordan wondered if he’d truly gotten married or, as Kelly had often accused, merely made a bargain. The irony, of course, was that a few weeks ago he hadn’t known the difference, no matter how often Kelly had tried pointing it out to him. Apparently he should have listened to her more closely. Maybe then he would have grasped the distinction, maybe then he wouldn’t have set himself up for this unfamiliar emptiness deep inside him.
Now he wondered if it was too late to change the ground rules. He thought of all the unexpected things Kelly had brought into their marriage, along with being a woman he knew he could trust with his life. He thought of what the future might be like without her in it and realized that losing her was a risk he could never take. Just as Cody had blown it with Melissa Horton, he had taken Kelly for granted. As much as he disliked what that said about him as a man, he knew it was true. He also knew he would never do that again.
Sitting there as the sun rose and brightened the kitchen, he examined the dilemma with the same methodical logic he would apply to a business problem. He considered every angle, weighed every option. When the solution finally came to him, he was astounded he hadn’t recognized it sooner.
The answer was a baby, a link that would bind them together more snugly than the vows they’d taken.
A baby! The very thought filled him with unexpected anticipation. The role of daddy had turned out to be one for which he was surprisingly well suited, after all. A little brother for Dani, maybe a little sister, too. The perfect family.
Contentment stole through him as he contemplated the image. Pleased with himself, he charted a course. Now all that remained was to get Kelly thinking along the same lines.
Surely, it would be easy. She adored Dani. From the day of Dani’s birth, Kelly had thrived on motherhood. In fact, Paul’s disinterest in being a parent had been the primary cause of trouble between them, along with his philandering, of course. Jordan predicted she would be thrilled with his thinking, as ready to embark on this new, shared commitment as he was.
Of course, he warned himself, as he began preparing a breakfast feast to get her in the proper mood, Kelly hadn’t exactly been predictable lately.
No matter, he told himself blithely. When he set his mind to something, he could be very persuasive. He’d gotten her to marry him, hadn’t he? By comparison, this battle ought to be little more than a skirmish, an easy victory.
“You want to have a baby?” Kelly asked.
She knew she was staring at Jordan as if he’d announced a desire to bring an elephant into their lives, but she couldn’t help it. If he had made such an announcement, suggesting the adoption of a huge gray beast, she couldn’t have been any more astounded.
She abandoned the special waffles he’d prepared, obviously to set the tone for this conversation, and pushed aside her plate. She laid her fork carefully back on the table, buying time, hoping to figure out what the devil was going on with her husband this morning.
“Why?” she demanded eventually. The question wasn’t all that complex, but it certainly cut to the heart of the matter.
Jordan seemed dumbfounded that she’d asked. She could see by the darkening of his eyes
