Doc Winchell, who’d been the family physician ever since Luke could recall, beamed at him. “Lucas, you did a fine job bringing this little one into the world. Couldn’t have done better myself. We’ll get her weighed and checked out from head to toe tomorrow, but she looks perfectly healthy to me.”
Luke kept his gaze deliberately averted from the bundled-up baby. “She really is okay, then?”
“Perfect,” the doctor confirmed.
“Being out in this weather won’t hurt her?”
“The truck’s heater works. She’s wrapped up warmly. She’ll be fine.”
“What about flying?”
“It shouldn’t be a problem and I’ll be right there to keep an eye on her.”
Luke nodded, his hands shoved in his pockets to keep from reaching out to hold the baby one last time. “Take good care of her, Doc. She’s my first delivery.” He grinned despite himself. “Hopefully, my last, too. I don’t think I ever want to know that kind of fear again.”
As if she sensed that Angela was his Achilles’ heel, Jessie plucked the baby up and practically shoved her into Luke’s arms. He had to accept her or allow her to tumble to the floor. One look into those trusting blue eyes and he felt his resolve weaken.
“Say goodbye, Angela,” Jessie murmured beside him. “Uncle Luke isn’t coming with us.”
As if she understood her mother, Angela’s face scrunched up. Her tiny lower lip trembled. Huge tears welled up in her eyes.
Luke rocked her gently. “Hey, little one, no tears, okay? Your uncle Luke will always have a very special spot in his heart, just for you. You ever need anything, anything at all, you come to me, okay, sweet pea?”
As always, the sound of his voice soothed her. She cooed at him. His effect on her gave him a disconcerting sense of satisfaction. He felt as if his sorry existence meant something to somebody.
Jessie seemed to guess what he was feeling. Her gaze, filled with understanding and a kind of raw agony, was fixed on his face. Luke couldn’t bear looking into her eyes. She knew too well why he was pushing them away. He looked back at Angela’s precious little face instead.
“Goodbye, sweet pea. You take good care of your mommy, okay?”
He held the baby out until Jessie finally had no choice but to claim her.
“Goodbye, Lucas,” she said, her voice laced with all the regret he was feeling. “I will never, ever forget what you did for us.”
He wanted to tell her it was nothing, but he couldn’t seem to force the words past the lump lodged in his throat. He just nodded.
Jessie reached up then and touched her hand to his cheek, silently commanding him To look at her. When he did, she said softly, “If you ever, ever change your mind, I’ll be waiting.”
“Don’t wait too long,” he warned. “Don’t waste your life waiting for something that can never be.”
For an instant he thought she was going to protest, but finally she sighed deeply and turned away. She walked out the kitchen door and never looked back.
It was just as well, Luke thought as he watched her. He would have hated like hell for her to see that he was crying.
10
The commotion caused by their arrival at White Pines was almost more than Jessie could bear, given her already-confused and deeply hurt state of mind.
Harlan gave Doc Winchell the third degree about the baby’s health. Mary claimed Angela the minute Jessie set foot across the threshold. Jordan and Cody studied the new baby with fascination, offering observations on which family members she most resembled. A handful of strangers, visiting for the holiday, chimed in.
They had almost nothing beyond the courtesies to say to Jessie, and not one of them asked about Luke. It was hardly surprising, she concluded, that he had refused to set foot in the house at White Pines.
As she stood apart and watched them, Jessie couldn’t help wondering why she’d once wanted so desperately to be a part of this family. It suddenly seemed to her that she’d mistaken chaos and boisterous outbursts for love.
Of course, back then she’d had Erik as a buffer. He’d seen to it that she was never left out of the conversation. He’d insisted that she be treated with respect. She had basked in his attention and barely noticed anyone else.
Except Luke.
Thinking of him now, all alone again on his ranch, she regretted more than ever leaving him, despite his cantankerous behavior. She should have risen above it. She should have listened to her heart.
Suddenly she couldn’t stand all the fussing for another instant. Reaching for Angela, she startled them all by announcing that the baby was tired from the trip and needed to be put down for a nap. To her astonishment, no one argued. She would have to remember that tone of voice for the next time someone in the family tried to steamroll over her.
“I found an old crib in the attic,” Mary said at once. “I had Jordan set it up in your old suite. As soon as the rest of the roads have cleared and it’s safer to drive, we’ll go into town for baby clothes and new sheets and blankets. In the meantime, I’ve had Maritza wash a few things I saved from when the boys were babies.”
Jessie fought a grin as she tried to imagine sexy, irrepressible Cody, the tall, self-assured Jordan or Luke ever being as tiny as Angela was now. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
Cody separated himself from the others as she started up the stairs. “How is Luke?” he asked, walking along with her. Lines of worry were etched in his brow that she was sure hadn’t been there mere months before. He was only twenty-seven, but he seemed older, wearier than he had when she’d left.
“Stubborn as a mule,” she said. “Lonely.”
“Why didn’t he come with you?”
Jessie met Cody’s
