“It is for me,” she said stiffly.
He studied her intently. “I see.”
“I doubt it.”
“Is your sexual hang-up something we should explore?” he inquired in a tone that teased and infuriated.
“I do not have a sexual hang-up,” she said with slow emphasis, her temper reaching an immediate boil again. “And don’t try playing psychologist with me, Mr. Riley. I’m the expert, remember?”
The grin faded. “How could I forget.”
She listened for an edge of sarcasm, but couldn’t detect one. An irrational part of her wished that grin were back, though.
“Tell me about Tracy,” he said.
The ease with which he switched from provocative teasing to less dangerous turf irritated her almost as much as the teasing itself. Okay, she’d be the first to admit that she’d gotten out of the habit of taking sexual banter in stride, but she wasn’t exactly the prude he’d implied. She was inclined to tell him just that, but reminded herself that she owed him no explanations. Instead she took the safe out he’d offered and said succinctly, “Tracy had some problems at home.”
That was like saying World War II had been a small military skirmish. At the memory of the psychological and physical pain Tracy had suffered at the hands of an abusive father and a lousy system, Ann felt a familiar weariness steal through her. Apparently Hank caught her shift in mood.
“Bad, huh?” he said with quick understanding and a level of compassion that surprised her.
She stared into eyes that invited confidences and offered strength. “Lousy,” she admitted. “Though I confess at times I forget just how bad it was for her. She tends to keep it all bottled up under a tough facade. Nothing I’ve done seems to get through to her.”
“Was she a runaway?”
“I never thought I’d say this, but I wish she had been. Maybe there would have been fewer scars.”
“You know that’s not true,” he said, glancing up. Blue eyes rebuked her. “All you have to do is ride around a few areas in Miami to see what happens to kids on their own too young.”
She sighed. “I know you’re right. Loss of innocence is pretty crummy at any age, but I doubt if Tracy ever had any innocence. She had a father who…well, I’m sure you get the idea. He wasn’t fit to raise pigs. He cast a long shadow. She’s been away from there for nearly five years now and she’s still not very trusting around men. In fact, she’s pretty wary of all adults, probably because she thinks we all failed her.”
“Can you blame her?”
“Not for a minute. That doesn’t make it any easier when she’s treating me like I’m the enemy, when all I want to do is help. Occasionally it wears me down.”
“She’s stuck around, hasn’t she? You must be doing something right.”
“Maybe,” she said, though she was pleased by his observation. If he could see it, maybe she had been slowly winning Tracy’s trust, after all. Though the girl often stormed out with a chip on her shoulder, she always returned and she always abided by the rules. Of all of them, in fact, Tracy was the one who seemed most in need of the reassurance that someone cared what she did—or didn’t do. How odd that it had taken this virtual stranger with the penetrating gaze and quicksilver mood changes to make her realize that.
Suddenly the bathroom seemed too confining. Or perhaps it was simply that Hank’s body seemed too masculine, too overwhelming, in the intimate space. It reminded Ann in an unrelenting way that she was a woman, something she all too often allowed herself to forget during jam-packed days of counseling and surrogate mothering.
“Why don’t you go on and get settled?” she suggested, feeling a sudden need to reclaim some of her own space. “I’ll finish cleaning up in here.”
“I want to check out these pipes first.”
“Don’t bother. I’ll call the plumber in the morning.”
“Why should you do that? I’m here now.”
“Then I’ll pay you.”
“You will not.”
Ann’s temper flared irrationally at his stubborn insistence. “Dammit, I will not have you coming in here challenging my independence!”
To her chagrin, Hank laughed. The sound echoed off the tile walls. “Is that what I’m doing? It must be on shaky ground.”
Fury teased at her insides before she, too, finally chuckled. The tension in her shoulders eased. “Okay. That’s a slight overstatement. But you do need to understand that I’m used to being on my own. It’s important to me.”
“I’ll try not to trample on your pride, but you need to understand that for as long as I’m here I want to do my share. The kids have chores. Why shouldn’t I?”
She lifted her chin to a defiant tilt. “The kids are staying,” she pointed out. “You’re not.”
The words were spoken flatly, with absolutely no hint of feeling, but Hank took one look at Ann’s expression and realized that a whole world of emotion was behind them. In the depths of her eyes he saw stark evidence of feelings he couldn’t possibly begin to comprehend. Abandonment. Hurt. Betrayal. Had they been her own? Or had she just seen too much in her life, too many innocent children wronged, too many hearts trampled on? Being a psychologist might equip her with a depth of understanding of human foibles, but the nonstop listening and advising had to take its toll. As he watched, she visibly withdrew, gathering her strength, shrouding her vulnerabilities.
The ease with which she did it saddened him. For a fraction of a second Hank wanted to take the tall, stoic woman in his arms. He wanted to comfort her. He wanted to challenge her easy acceptance of the fact that he was here today, but very likely gone tomorrow. He wanted to promise her a life filled with warmth and love and commitment. He wanted to tell her that the world really wasn’t such a lousy place. Ironically, he wasn’t sure he believed that himself. Maybe, in the end, he and Ann Davies were two of
