“I don’t believe that. I think prayer can help a person to heal, if only they’ll listen to God’s answers.”
“Do you think I haven’t prayed about this, Pastor Perkins?” he taunted, his voice thick with sarcasm. “Do you think when I was fourteen years old and my sad, lonely mama was wandering around in a blizzard because she didn’t have a single friend in this terrible place, do you think I didn’t pray then? Do you think I didn’t get on my knees and pray when she was in her bed dying of pneumonia? Well, let me correct that impression. I got on my knees and I said every prayer I’d been taught from the day I was born,” he said angrily.
“My daddy prayed. Maisey prayed. And do you know what happened, Pastor Perkins? She died, anyway. That sweet, gentle woman, who’d never done anybody any harm, died, and all because Billy Joe Hunt made it his personal quest to destroy her with his lies and innuendos about her past. She couldn’t face the humiliation and she wasn’t strong enough to fight back.”
Anna Louise felt the force of his fury and wanted desperately to comfort him. But comfort wasn’t what he needed now. He needed to tear open this festering wound, to get out all of the hurt and anguish that were killing him bit by bit, and find his own path to forgiveness. She could only guide him along the way.
“What was it Billy Joe did?”
“He told people...” For a minute it didn’t seem as if he would say any more, but he finally went on. “He told people a lot of nonsense about the way she’d been living over in Charlottesville before she and my daddy met.”
“Was it true?”
“Does that really matter? Whatever had gone on had been over with for fifteen years. How Billy Joe dug up his little half-truths and lies about her living with some professor, I can’t imagine. But I don’t care if she’d been the worst prostitute in history—which she hadn’t been, by the way. She deserved the chance to put the past behind her. He had to go dragging it all up, implying that she’d slept with half the damned campus, humiliating her, making her feel unwelcome everywhere.” Richard glared up at her. “Even in your blessed church.”
Anna Louise recalled that the previous preacher, Pastor Flynn, had had a reputation for being rigid and cold. She’d had no idea how hard-hearted he’d actually been. If he had actually driven away Richard’s mother, then his sin was far worse than any Janie Walton might have committed.
“That was wrong,” she said quietly.
“You’re damned right, it was wrong. What Billy Joe did was wrong. Half the people in this town were wrong for following his lead.”
“Does knowing that help?” she asked quietly.
He shot a startled look up at her. “What do you mean?”
“It’s a simple question. I’m asking if it makes you feel better to hold them all responsible for your mother’s death. Does hating them all give you any satisfaction?”
“Yes,” he said fiercely. Then he released a deep sigh. “No. No, it doesn’t help at all.”
She knelt down beside him, mindless of the cold, hard ground. She rested her hand against his cheek, which was damp with the silent tears she hadn’t even been aware he’d shed. “Then isn’t it time to let it go?”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
He met her gaze, his expression black. “Because if I do, I’ll have nothing left.”
Anna Louise felt her own tears spill down her cheeks. “That’s not true. It’s not. You have Maisey.” She drew in a deep breath. “And you have me.”
His gaze met hers, his eyes dark with heartache and need. With a groan, he pulled her into his arms and held her tight against his chest. Slowly he rocked back and forth, as if in the rhythm and closeness he could find the solace he desperately needed. Anna Louise twined her arms around his neck and held on tight, afraid to let go for fear of losing him forever.
They were still sitting just that way when the first flakes of snow began to fall, melting against their skin. Anna Louise lifted her head in wonder.
“The first snowfall,” she whispered. “It’s always the most beautiful.”
Richard’s low chuckle was the first sign she’d had that his mood had finally shifted. “Anna Louise, is there anything in life you don’t view as a blessing?”
“I’m not overly fond of asparagus,” she responded, just to see the grin on his face broaden.
“Oh, Anna Louise, you are a treasure,” he said, laughing.
* * *
Anna Louise realized a few weeks later that that intimate moment she had shared with Richard wasn’t the beginning she had hoped it might be. His pattern was too well established. After losing both his parents during his teens, he had never allowed another soul to get too close. He’d even run as far as he could from Maisey. Maybe, though, his coming home when she needed him was the first step in his recovery. Facing down the demon of Billy Joe Hunt and his awful lies might be the next.
That, however, didn’t solve the immediate problem of his avoiding any possible contact with Anna Louise. Oh, he was polite enough when they bumped into each other on the street. He was even courteous when Maisey invited Anna Louise to join them for dinner, which she did as frequently as ever.
Anna Louise tried to avoid those tension-filled occasions, but Maisey would only accept so many excuses before she figured out what was really going on. Anna Louise didn’t want to stir up trouble between Richard and his grandmother by hinting that he’d in any way made her feel unwelcome.
Thanksgiving came and went. Plans for the annual Christmas bazaar were keeping everyone busy. Like similar bazaars in Europe, theirs was held outdoors, with booths selling hot chocolate, crafts, holiday decorations
