“What did she tell you?” he asked.
“About?” she replied noncommittally.
“Us.”
Jessie spared him a glance. “Us? As in you and Kelly?”
“You don’t have to act so innocent. I’m sure she told you I’d proposed.”
Her expression turned quizzical. “Is that what it was?”
Jordan moaned. “Not you, too?”
“Well, you have to admit your technique lacked finesse.”
“I sent flowers. I had a message flown over the ranch. I had thousands of rose petals dropped from the sky. I brought her sexy lingerie. The stuff damned near drove me wild imagining her in it. She didn’t even take it out of the box.”
Jessie’s eyes widened at the mention of the lingerie. “Oh, really? She didn’t mention that.”
Jordan thought of how embarrassed Kelly had been by that particular gift. “I’m not surprised.” He stared at Jessie, feeling totally bemused and helpless for the first time in his life. He didn’t like the sensation at all. “I even offered to compromise on where we live.”
Jessie put aside the bowl of cereal and leveled a penetrating look straight at him. “Before I answer, may I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Do you love her?”
Ginger had essentially asked the same thing and he’d been unwilling or unable to answer. He saw that he couldn’t evade Jessie so easily. He had the feeling she could read between the lines of whatever answer he chose to give.
“I don’t know what I feel,” he admitted candidly. “She’s always been a part of my life. I never thought of her in any way other than the best friend I ever had until recently.”
“After your engagement to that awful Rexanne person fell apart?”
Another vote weighed in against his ex-fiancée. He must have been blind. “Exactly,” he said.
“So you decided to rebound straight to the woman who’d been the one safe, secure constant in your life.”
It didn’t sound nearly so sensible or laudable when Jessie described it. “Something like that.”
“She ought to knock your teeth down your throat,” Jessie said succinctly.
His eyes widened. “Thanks.”
“I’m serious. Of all the selfish, pigheaded decisions, Jordan Adams, that takes the cake. I’d say you’d better think long and hard about what you really want out of this relationship before you push Kelly’s back to the wall. She’s my friend and I don’t want to see her hurt again. If you can’t admit you love her, I’ll stand up and shout my objections right smack in the middle of the service when the preacher asks if anyone knows just cause why you shouldn’t be wed. I guarantee I’ll make it the most humiliating moment of your life.”
He saw evidence of the fiery temper Luke had mentioned on occasion, but no one else had ever seen in calm, serene Jessie. “You would, wouldn’t you?” he said in amazement.
“Damn straight.”
He grinned despite himself. “I’m glad she has you for a friend.” He stood and headed for the door. “Fair warning, though. If I ever do manage to convince her to marry me, I may put a muzzle on you before I let you near the church.”
Jessie didn’t even flinch. “Tell her you love her and you won’t have to.”
The words echoed in his head all the way back to Kelly’s ranch. After stopping in town to buy a picnic lunch, he sped the rest of the way to her house. He parked beside her car, checked the house for her even though he knew it was unlikely she’d be there in the middle of the day, then saddled up a horse and rode off in search of her.
As he rode, with the sun beating down on his shoulders and fluffy white clouds scudding across the vivid blue sky, he tried to analyze why he was so determined to marry Kelly. Was it pure cussedness because she’d said no and no one ever turned down Jordan Adams? Or was it something more, some feeling deep inside he’d never before analyzed too closely? Had all those times he’d gravitated to her house, ostensibly just to check up on her, been indications that she fulfilled some need in him?
He looked to his own parents for some clue about what love was all about. Harlan and Mary Adams had been married nearly thirty-five years. His father’s eyes still shone whenever his wife walked into a room. As for his mother, she wasn’t an especially warm woman, except when it came to her husband. With him, she radiated charm and laughter and the heat of desire even after all these years. They shared common goals and an abiding affection. Their marriage had been an example to all of their sons, even if Mary Adams’s parenting skills had left something to be desired.
Surely, he thought, he and Kelly felt some of those same things. Maybe he’d just never put a label to them before. Maybe he’d repeatedly come back to west Texas, back to her, because he knew that with her he felt whole as he did with no one else on earth. Was that love?
He’d called himself in love with Rexanne and with others before her. He’d tacked the label on his feelings, because it seemed to be expected. But whatever emotions he’d felt then now seemed pale in comparison to the depth of what he felt when he was with Kelly and with Dani. He felt passion with Kelly, but he also felt a rare contentment, the kind that would endure. It was that, he knew, that had drawn him back to her.
Maybe he could say he loved her and say it in all honesty. Damn, but it was complicated, though. He didn’t want to lie to her about something this important. He didn’t want her to marry him under false pretenses. He’d been fooled before by love. So had she. He didn’t want to make a mistake like that again, especially not with Kelly. She deserved only words he could
