He was no less pleased than she. She’d spent years all too familiar with the desperate yearning that had just struck Jordan for the first time. And, she realized with both astonishment and anticipation, in a matter of hours a lifetime of longing would finally be fulfilled.
Chapter Eleven
It was amazing how quickly Jordan managed to rush everyone through a four-course meal and a wedding cake. Kelly almost felt sorry for their guests, who were hustled out of the house with all the finesse usually reserved for door-to-door salesmen.
As bad as she felt, though, she did absolutely nothing to delay their departure. Ever since that kiss had practically knocked her stockings and her traditional wedding garter off, she’d been counting the minutes until she could finally be alone with the man she had loved for so many years. They’d planned a few days here all alone as their honeymoon.
To her chagrin, she’d barely spared a glance for her daughter, who’d gone off eagerly with Luke and Jessie, excited about her first opportunity to help baby-sit her new cousin Angela. She knew Dani would be in good hands with Jessie and Consuela there to look out for her. For the first time since Dani’s birth, she was able to be purely selfish for just a little while. She intended to cherish these few days of quiet, private time with Jordan right here in the home she intended to share with him for the rest of their days.
As the last car drove off, she was finally left alone with her brand-new husband. Suddenly she felt absurdly shy. She glanced at Jordan as if he were a blind date she’d never seen before. Given the haste with which their status had changed from friends to mates, she realized belatedly that she hadn’t yet fully made the mental adjustment to their new, untested relationship.
Marrying a best friend shouldn’t have been nearly so scary, she thought, battling unexpected panic. Perhaps if they’d had a normal courtship, perhaps if they’d been intimate or at least shared more than a few deep, steamy kisses, she wouldn’t have felt like blushing every time she looked at him. Somehow, though, going from best friend to lover in a heartbeat filled her with uncertainty. She felt as if her entire world had shifted crazily and she’d been left off-balance.
All of the insecurities that had welled up in her when she’d discovered her ex-husband had been turning to other women returned now with doubled intensity. Failing Paul had been one thing. Failing this man she loved so deeply was something else entirely. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to bear it if she disappointed Jordan.
As if he sensed her turmoil, Jordan took her hand in his. “We’re going to be okay,” he reassured her.
Kelly lifted her gaze to his. “It’s just that this feels so strange,” she confided.
“Scared?”
“A little.”
“Why?”
Since he seemed honestly interested in the answer, she began to relax just a little. She kicked off her shoes, settled herself on the sofa and accepted the glass of wine he held out. Seated beside her, he waited patiently as she struggled to find an explanation that would make sense to him.
“I think what scares me the most is the possibility that we’ll mess up what we already have,” she began cautiously. “You’re the very best friend I’ve ever had. You’ve always been there for me. You can practically read my mind. It seems like we’re putting that at risk for something that’s far less certain.”
His lips twitched. Amusement danced in his eyes. “Do you mean sex, by any chance?”
Kelly swallowed hard and nodded. “It changes things, complicates them.”
“Or enhances them,” he suggested quietly. “Sweet pea, we can take this slow, if that’s what you want. I know I pushed hard for you to make this decision. I hardly gave you any time at all to think, probably because I was afraid you’d say no if you really thought it over. If you’re not ready to make love, we’ll settle into being married awhile first.”
His understanding made her want to weep. He was being so damned nice, so reasonable. Perversely, she wanted to smack him. Why wasn’t he sweeping her off her feet, using his considerable experience to seduce her?
“Don’t you want…” she began uncertainly, all of her fears crashing down on her and filling her with dread.
Shock spread across his face as he apparently realized what she was most afraid of. He reached for her then and pulled her into his arms. The gesture alone began to dispel her doubts, but it wasn’t enough. She waited, breath caught in her throat, to hear what he had to say.
“Of course, I want to make love,” he reassured her. “I’ve been wanting to for weeks now. Do you know how many times I’ve left here aching for you?” He took her hand and pressed it lightly against his arousal. “See, that’s what being close to you does to me. I seem to have developed this craving for touching you.”
Stunned by the discovery that Jordan really did want her, Kelly’s irrational fears fled as rapidly as they’d escalated. Panic gave way to frantic desire. She twisted to face him and cupped his face in her hands. Her thumbs skimmed over the faint stubble on his cheeks, relishing the rough texture that she’d yearned for so long to feel.
“It will be okay, won’t it?” she asked, a note of pleading in her voice.
“More than okay,” he promised. “This marriage of ours is going to last forever and it’s going to be filled with passion and laughter. I’m going to make you happy, Kelly.”
She smiled at the determination she heard in his voice. “You already have,” she whispered against his lips. “You already have.”
* * *
With Kelly snuggled next to him on the sofa, still wearing the wedding dress that had once been her mother’s, Jordan felt more serene, more complete than he had
