In so doing, though, he was the one to make it an issue. She studied him intently and waited for his answer.
“The usual reasons,” he grumbled.
“And what would those be?” she inquired stubbornly, drawing a ferocious scowl.
“Dammit, do you or do you not want to have a baby?” he snapped.
I want you to love me, she cried to herself. I want a baby that is a product of our love. “I do,” she said finally, “but not until we’re sure we’re ready.”
“I’m sure.”
“You keep saying that, but you haven’t said why.”
“Isn’t that obvious?”
“Not to me.”
He glowered at her irritably and stood. “I’m going for a walk.”
Kelly nodded curtly. “You do that. And while you’re gone, perhaps you’ll come up with an explanation for this sudden decision of yours.”
Judging from the way he slammed the door behind him on his way out, she had a feeling he was going to be too busy cooling off to think clearly about much of anything.
Blast it all, when was he going to learn that he couldn’t just make unilateral decisions for the two of them and expect her to fall into line? He’d done it when he’d decided on marriage. She was determined he wouldn’t get away with it when it came to electing to have a baby. They would not bring a child into this world until Jordan could say without reservations that he loved her.
She sighed at that and resigned herself to a long wait. He was as clueless now about what would really make her happy as he had been weeks ago.
“Mommy, where’s Jordan?” Dani asked sleepily as she wandered into the kitchen, once again wearing her favorite Dallas Cowboys T-shirt.
“Cooling off,” she said dryly, gesturing in the direction in which he’d gone.
Dani blinked. “Outside? Isn’t it hot out there?”
Not half as hot as it had been in the kitchen a few moments before, Kelly thought. “It is,” she said, and scooped her daughter up, tickling her until she convulsed with giggles. “That was just an expression.”
Dani seemed content with the explanation. She wound her arms around Kelly’s neck and delivered several smacking kisses to her face. “I really, really missed you, Mommy.”
“Not half as much as I missed you.”
Her daughter frowned. “Do you think Jordan missed me?”
“I know he did.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he bought you a present every single day,” she said, thinking of the pile of stuffed animals and dolls that had accumulated in the room that would be Dani’s for however long it took for Jordan to relocate the business.
“Where are they?” Dani demanded, scrambling down.
“Most of them are in your new room in Houston, but I think he did bring one thing back for you. As soon as you eat your breakfast, you can run outside and track him down. I know he’s very anxious for you to see it.”
Dani headed for the door. “I want to see it now.”
Kelly blocked her way. “After you eat and get dressed, young lady.” She handed her a glass of orange juice. “Drink this, while I make pancakes.”
“Can’t I have cereal?” Dani pleaded, bouncing up and down. “It’s faster.”
“Okay, fine.” She poured a bowlful of corn flakes, added milk and slices of banana. “Here you go.”
As she spooned up the cereal, Dani tried speculating on what Jordan had brought her. “I’ll bet it’s a dollhouse,” she said, her gaze fixed on Kelly’s face.
“I’m not saying,” Kelly said, forcing herself to remain expressionless. “It’s Jordan’s surprise.”
“Is it a new teddy bear, a great big one?”
Kelly grinned at her persistence. “I’m not saying,” she repeated.
“Please, Mommy, my tummy will get all inside out, if I don’t know really, really soon.”
“Then you’d better stop asking so many questions and finish that cereal,” Kelly advised.
Dani fell silent and concentrated on her breakfast. The instant she’d spooned the last bite into her mouth, she climbed down from her chair and raced for the back door.
“Whoa! Clothes, remember?”
Dani managed to exchange her T-shirt for shorts and a top in record time. She waved as she ran past Kelly. “‘Bye, Mommy.”
On the other side of the screen door, though, she hesitated. “Mommy?”
“What?”
“Can I call Jordan Daddy? I know he said at the wedding that he was my new daddy, but he didn’t say what I should call him.”
Kelly’s heart swelled with emotion at the plaintive request. If only Jordan really were her daddy, she thought with regret. “That’s up to you and Jordan. Why don’t you discuss it with him?”
“Will my real daddy be mad?”
Kelly doubted Paul Flint would much care one way or the other. Given how seldom he showed his face, it was doubtful he’d ever even know.
“I don’t think so, munchkin. I think he’d want you to do whatever makes you happy.”
It was a blatant lie, but Kelly would do whatever it took to keep Dani from ever discovering that, at least not until she was old enough to judge her father’s behavior for herself. She would have to be the one to put the labels—selfish and uncaring came to mind—on it.
“All right!” Dani enthused. “I can hardly wait to see Jordan. He’s the very bestest daddy in the world.”
Maybe not the bestest quite yet, Kelly thought, smiling as she watched Dani go racing off in the direction of the barn. But he was working on it. By the time they had a baby of their own—if they had a baby of their own, she corrected—she was convinced he’d have it down pat.
First, though, he had to give some serious thought to his motivation for parenthood. Hopefully, he would come back from his walk with all the right words. If he didn’t, if his reasons were as muddy as the ones behind his decision to
