“But I made a promise,” he said before he could stop himself.
“A promise?” she asked blankly. “To whom?”
“To God. I told Him if you pulled through, I’d marry you just the way you wanted.”
He knew, even as the words crossed his lips, that he’d gotten it all wrong. Telling her he’d made a bargain with God was absolutely the worst thing he could have admitted. It was too late, though, to scramble for another explanation. Nor could he take back the words. At this point, he couldn’t even rephrase the proposal and make it more romantic, more believable.
He stared into Heather’s eyes, saw the pain there, and knew he’d blown his chance. He might have others—in fact, he would see to it that he had as many as necessary—but this one had slipped away. He was probably lucky she was confined to bed, or she might very well have dumped those beautiful peonies over his head.
“I don’t get it,” he said, unable to stop himself even though he knew he was only making things worse. “I thought this was what you wanted.”
“Not like this,” she said softly, then rolled over and turned her back on him, but not before he’d seen the tears that filled her eyes.
* * *
Heather should have known that turning down Connor’s proposal wouldn’t be the end of it. Apparently working up the courage to say the words once had emboldened him. For the past two days he’d been asking just about every time he walked into the room and they were left alone. She finally lost patience.
“Connor O’Brien, I will not marry you just because you had some epiphany on the way to the hospital,” she declared, scowling at him. “How many times do I have to tell you that? You’re being very sweet, but the answer is still no!”
All of the pretty words he’d been spouting should have been gratifying, but his proposals were getting on her nerves. Everything was getting on her nerves. She wanted to go home.
The only way that was going to happen, though, was if someone was there to look after her. Her cracked ribs were going to take time to heal, as was her broken leg. Right now the whole process looked daunting.
The entire O’Brien family had volunteered to help out, but it was Connor’s offer that she found most troubling. It came with totally unexpected strings, and it seemed he wasn’t above using her release as a means to get what he wanted.
“You want to leave here, don’t you?” he asked yet again, a coaxing note in his voice. “You can do it with full-time help. That’s what the social worker has said. I can provide that, but only if you’ll agree to marry me.”
“That’s blackmail,” she accused, stunned that he could be so sneaky. How dare he make a mockery of the one thing he knew she wanted above all else—the two of them together forever?
“No, it’s giving you everything you claimed to want,” he countered. “You get to go home and you get me in the bargain. Forever this time, with a marriage license to prove it.”
“Why do I feel as if I’m on Let’s Make a Deal?” she asked, thoroughly disgruntled, even though, as he said, he was offering everything she’d wanted. “A proposal’s supposed to be romantic. This one sounds an awful lot like bartering for a few sheep and a couple of cows.”
“Hey, that worked in a lot of cultures for a very long time.”
She frowned at the flip comment. “Connor, I can’t marry you just so I’ll have a caregiver for a few months. What happens once I’m well?”
“We’ll have the life we deserve,” he said as if it were as simple as that.
She shook her head. “No, you’ll start having regrets.”
“No, I won’t,” he insisted. “Why are you fighting me so hard on this? You said you loved me.”
“I do,” she confirmed. “That’s beside the point.”
“Hardly. And I love you.” He held her gaze. “I really don’t see the problem.”
“Love was never enough for you before,” she reminded him. “You’ve always assumed it would vanish in a puff of smoke by the time the ink dried on the marriage license.”
“I’ve given the matter more thought,” he claimed.
She rolled her eyes. If she’d been even a tiny bit stronger and the least bit mobile, she would have crawled out of bed to shake him. “Connor, stop with this nonsense,” she nearly shouted instead. “You still don’t believe in marriage. That’s why this whole idea is crazy.”
He reached for her hand. His grasp warmed her, even if the situation sent a chill right through her.
“Look at me,” he commanded. She met his gaze, and he continued, “When I thought I was going to lose you, I nearly went out of my mind. It made me realize that I don’t want to live another minute without you. Whatever time we have together on this earth, I want to spend it with you and our son. I want to have more kids with you. I could be content to do that without a wedding license, but you can’t, so I’m going to focus on how important you are to me and take that walk down the aisle because it matters to you.”
Heather wanted so badly to take what he was offering and let it be enough, but how could she? She’d always feel as if she had somehow trapped him into doing something that went against his deepest convictions. She’d always know he’d gone into the marriage under duress.
“No,” she whispered, barely able to utter the word. “It won’t work that way, Connor. It can’t.”
He looked thoroughly shaken by her latest refusal, as if she’d finally pushed him too far. He’d put aside his own beliefs and laid himself on the line, and now she’d rejected him.
But what else could she have done? she wondered. She knew him better than
