“Don’t you imagine someone who loves you would do the same?” he asked.
“I guess I never thought about it that way,” she admitted.
“So, let’s get back to us. Are you scared about us jumping into bed or about us having a relationship? Because I’ve been waiting for you for a very long time, Jess, so we can move this whole thing along at whatever pace makes you comfortable.” He gave her a hard look. “Or are you already trying to create roadblocks to moving forward at all?”
Was that what she was doing? It was entirely possible. She’d gone to Will’s office tonight because she hadn’t been able to convince herself to stay away. She’d wanted something from him when she’d walked through that door. Had it been uncomplicated sex? Or had she already known deep down that nothing about her relationship with Will would ever be uncomplicated? There were so darn many unexplored feelings between them.
The fact that he sat patiently while she argued with herself was extremely annoying, but that was Will. He’d obviously built his career on waiting out reluctant clients.
She frowned, but finally admitted, “I don’t know. This is so much more complicated than I thought it was going to be.” She looked into his eyes. “Did you know it would be this hard?”
He smiled. “I knew. You’re a complicated woman. There’s no surprise for me there.”
“Then why bother with me?” she asked him. When he laughed, she scowled, “No, I mean it. I really want to know.”
“Because I have never met another woman who challenged me the way you do, who’s sexy and vulnerable and far stronger than she knows. I guess a part of me wants to be the man who’s there when you finally see yourself for the amazing woman you’ve become.”
Jess’s eyes misted with tears at his sweet words and the sincerity behind them. “That’s really how you see me? As an amazing woman?”
“Of course.”
“Why? You have to be aware of all my flaws. Do I need to list them for you?”
His lips curved. “Are you thinking you can scare me away if you do?”
“Maybe.”
“How long have we known each other, Jess?”
“Most of our lives.”
“Do you think there’s much about you I don’t know? I’ve pretty much seen you in every kind of circumstance imaginable, and what I haven’t seen, someone’s told me about.”
She wanted to believe that he’d seen all of her worst flaws, understood all of her most disastrous mistakes, and cared for her anyway, but how was that possible?
“Maybe you’re just glossing over my flaws so you can get me in the sack after all this time,” she accused lightly. “Some men will do or say anything to score.”
He looked oddly hurt by the suggestion. “I’m not most men. Besides, maybe I just see your flaws as an important part of the fabric of who you are,” he suggested. “And maybe I think they pale when stacked up against all of your good points.”
When she remained silent, distrusting his words, he sighed heavily. “I really wish you could see yourself through my eyes,” he told her. “I wish I knew how to make that possible because until you do, you’ll always doubt you’re worthy of love.”
Jess couldn’t deny what he was saying. She’d spent her entire life—from the moment her mother had walked out and left them—focused on what was wrong with her, how much trouble she was. A pattern of belief begun at the tender age of seven and never denied, but rather reinforced, was almost impossible to shake.
It wasn’t that she believed no one could love her, because obviously her parents and her siblings did, but it was a love she’d always viewed as laced with a heavy dose of tolerance and even a sense of family obligation. Theirs was a love she’d put to the test too often. One thing she knew for sure was that if she ever did become involved with a man, she wanted more. She wanted affection that was freely given and deeply felt. No good could come of a relationship in which she felt a constant need to be testing the man’s love.
Will watched her as if he knew exactly what thoughts she was wrestling with. “Well?” he asked at last. “Are you going to bail before we even get started, or will you give us the chance we both deserve? All you have to do is take a leap of faith.”
“It might be easier to leap over the Washington Monument in a single bound,” she said dryly.
“Come on,” he coaxed. “You’ve got what it takes, Jess. I believe that, even if you don’t. Trust me just this once.”
“I do trust you,” she said, knowing that much was true, at least.
“Then you’ll go out with me again? Baby steps, if need be. Lunch. Or a movie. No pressure.”
“Can I drag along a chaperone?” she asked, only partially in jest.
His lips curved. “If you must. Just please don’t make it one of your brothers. I don’t think I could take the humiliation.”
She laughed, suddenly feeling a thousand times lighter. “Neither could I. I guess we’ll play the chaperone thing by ear.”
“How about I drop by the inn tomorrow afternoon? We can run out for ice cream or coffee or something. No big deal. Nothing too scary about grabbing a hot fudge sundae or a cappuccino with me, right?”
“Not unless you try whisking me off to a sidewalk café in Paris for them,” she said.
Despite the teasing note in her voice, Will studied her somberly. “Is that what you want, Jess? To be whisked away someplace romantic?”
“Isn’t that what every woman secretly yearns for?” she said lightly. “To be totally swept off her feet?”
He nodded, his expression thoughtful. “A good lesson. I’ll have to keep that in mind.”
Sure, Jess thought. No man was
