“To make you smile,” he said. “And maybe to pile on the guilt.”
She gave him a startled look. “Really?”
“I knew you probably started feeling bad about running off five minutes after you did it.”
“I did,” she said. “And I really am sorry. Mornings after, at least the kind that matter, are new to me. I panicked.”
“Of course you did,” he said. “The step we took last night was a big one. It probably didn’t help that I’d told you there would be no turning back. Asking you to make a public announcement about it by going to Sally’s was probably insensitive on my part.”
She waved that off. “What you’d said did throw me for a minute, but by this morning I’d convinced myself you didn’t really mean it. Men say a lot of things in the heat of the moment.”
“I don’t.” He leveled a look into her eyes. “I meant it, Jess. I’m in this for the long haul. Of course, if you make me sit on these chairs very often, I may not be able to move well enough to ever make love to you again.”
“I suppose that just because I deserved to be tortured for treating you the way I did, I shouldn’t have subjected you to it,” she conceded with what almost sounded like genuine regret. The twinkle in her eye, however, said otherwise. She might have been forced into groveling, but she was making him pay in her own clever way.
She hesitated, then said, “I don’t know if that’s enough groveling or not, but I need to thank you for the candy, too. Not only did it make me smile, but Ethel’s penny candy is the best. It takes me straight back to being a kid, when I had to hide all that sugary junk from Gram. At least now I don’t have to sneak them.” She opened her purse and pulled out a fistful of individually wrapped candies. “See. I brought my stash with me. If you’re good, I’ll even consider letting you have one for dessert.”
Will chuckled. “I wouldn’t dream of taking even one away from you.”
Their meals came, and for a moment, they fell silent. Then Will felt compelled to ask, “Are you feeling better now about where we are?”
She paused, her fork in midair. “I’m still scared to death, if that’s what you mean. I’ve never gone all-in with a guy before.”
“Just loved ’em and left ’em?” he said.
She nodded. “I don’t want to do that with you, Will. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’ll only hurt me if you’re not honest with me or if you run without giving us a real chance. It’s okay to be scared. This is new territory for me, too.”
She seemed surprised by that. “Really?”
“I’ve dated plenty over the years, even had a couple of relationships that could have gone somewhere, but they always ended.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew my heart belonged to you,” he said candidly. She needed to hear the truth, not some spin designed to protect his ego or to keep her fear at bay. “Up until a few weeks ago, I kept trying to find someone who could make me forget about you, but it was useless. Now I’m going for broke, Jess. I’m going after the woman I want, no-holds-barred.”
She looked troubled by his words. “But what if I can’t live up to your expectations?”
“The only expectation I have is that you’ll give us a fair shot at something that could last. No more running off or hiding because you’re scared.”
She nodded slowly. “Fair enough.” She glanced over at him. “I almost came after you this morning. I got as far as Sally’s.”
“Why didn’t you come in?”
“Connor,” she said succinctly.
“You saw your brother with me?”
She shook her head. “I saw his car. That was enough. I wasn’t ready to face him, to have him start piecing together what had happened.”
“He knows,” Will said, then added hurriedly, “I didn’t tell him. He figured it out all on his own.”
“But you confirmed it?”
“Pretty much. He’s the one who told me not to give up.”
She regarded him with dismay. “You were going to give up just because I wouldn’t go with you this morning? What happened to being all-in?”
“My ego,” he conceded. “Or maybe fear that you’d never be ready for a real relationship. Then Connor made me see that turning my back on you now would only prove what you believed all along, that nothing lasts, that everyone walks away and promises mean nothing.”
“I see. I guess I owe my brother, after all. Who knew Connor would be the one to come up with really helpful advice?”
“I would have come to the same conclusion on my own,” Will assured her. “It was just a momentary lapse of faith.” He reached for her hand, enfolded it in his. “Then I reminded myself that anything worth having is worth fighting for, Jess. A future with you? It’s worth just about anything.”
“No matter how much trouble I am?” she asked, the wistful note in her voice telling him that she’d gone back in time to Megan’s departure.
He brought her hand to his lips. “You could never be too much trouble. Not for me.”
“There’s a good chance I’m going to test that,” she warned him. “Probably over and over again.”
He smiled. “I’m ready for that.”
And he was. Today was the last time he was going to let doubts overrule his heart, even for a minute.
Though Jess was relieved to have cleared the air with Will, she knew that every day was likely to present a new challenge. She’d spent too many years doubting herself to suddenly believe that she was totally one hundred percent lovable. She also recognized that she was going to have to continue to make some overtures herself, prove to Will and herself that she was truly ready for whatever the future might hold between them.
Though she hadn’t seen Will since earlier in the week, she’d
