Now Jess knew she was treading on tricky turf. It might be easier to back down, but she thought about what Abby would do if the situations were reversed. She’d push until the other person got a troubling subject out into the open.
“Why not?” she asked her sister.
“You know what happened when I had the twins,” Abby said. “Wes immediately wanted me to quit work and stay home.”
“And you’re scared Trace will do the same thing?”
Abby nodded, looking miserable. “No matter how many times he swears to me it will never happen, I’m scared to death he’s kidding himself. I’m afraid that once a new baby’s here, he’s going to balk at me going off to work in Baltimore every day. And then what? We start fighting all the time? Wind up divorced the way Wes and I did? I love my career. I’ve worked hard to get where I am.”
Jess gave her sister’s hand a squeeze. “Of course you have. I don’t think you’re giving Trace half enough credit, though. He actually likes being a stay-at-home dad to the girls. He can do his work at home. There’s no reason for him to insist that you be there, too. He’s not Wes, and the situations just aren’t the same.”
Abby sniffed, found one of the ever-present tissues in her pocket and blew her nose. “That’s what he says,” she conceded.
“Oh, sweetie, I certainly have a mountain of trust issues of my own, but even I can see that Trace has never given you a single reason to doubt him.”
“I do know that,” Abby said.
“Then keep talking. Don’t let this drag on until it’s too late and all the options are gone.”
“Yeah, the ticking of my biological clock is pretty loud these days.” When she met Jess’s gaze, her expression remained troubled. “I can’t help wondering if it’s more than the whole Wes thing.”
Jess regarded her with surprise. “Such as?”
“I was just seventeen when Mom left. I took over with all of you. In some ways, I feel as if I’ve had not just the twins, but four other kids. Maybe that’s enough for me.”
Jess had never considered the toll Abby’s sense of responsibility toward all of them might have taken on her. “Then you need to talk that out with Trace, too. Here’s what I see, though. You’re a great mom despite your career. Trace is a fantastic stepfather, but the two of you should have at least one kid together.” She grinned. “But, hey, my opinion isn’t the one that counts.”
“Actually, your perspective is helping. Trace and I have been over this so many times, I feel as if we’re talking in circles.”
“Then I’ll add one more thing. Maybe once you have one baby and see how smoothly it goes, you’ll even have a couple more. That big old house he bought for you should be filled up with kids.” She touched her sister’s cheek. “I know from experience how blessed they’d be.”
Abby gave her a watery smile. “Thanks for the pep talk. You’re pretty smart.”
“I’ll bet I’m not telling you anything your husband hasn’t already said. Listen to him, big sis. Trace loves you, and he would never, ever do anything to take your work away from you. He understands that it’s a big part of who you are. Better yet, he’s going to be right there with diaper duty and all the other demands of raising a family. You’ll have a partner.”
“I know you’re right,” Abby said. “He’s right. I just get these flashbacks, you know?”
“Believe me, I know,” Jess said.
Abby sighed heavily. “Okay, your work here is done,” she said, waving Jess off. “Go with Will and do whatever it is the two of you are going to do.”
“Not that we need your permission,” Jess said wryly, “but thanks.”
Jess found Will waiting patiently for her just outside the kitchen door. “How much did you overhear?” she asked.
He didn’t bother trying to deny that he’d heard most of it. “It’s a complex situation,” he said carefully. “But you gave her good advice.”
“The same thing you would have told her?”
He smiled. “Pretty much. Not that she asked me. You have good instincts when it comes to other people, Jess. You should start listening to some of your own advice, especially when it comes to choosing the people you can trust.”
She lifted her eyes to meet his. “Intellectually I know I can trust you, Will. It’s just this gut of mine. It hasn’t quite made the leap.”
“But you did make some kind of progress today with your mother, didn’t you? I saw it on both of your faces when you came inside to dinner. You looked lighter, and whenever Megan glanced your way, she looked happier than I’ve seen her in a while.”
Jess nodded. “It was kind of huge, actually. I had this big argument with myself about letting go of the anger, or holding on to it and never having the kind of mother-daughter relationship I’ve been missing all these years. I decided I’d been punishing not just her, but me, by withholding my affection and forgiveness.”
He smiled at her. “So you let it go.”
“I did. It was pretty amazing, actually. I made the decision, and it was like it all just vanished in a puff of smoke. I’m sure it’s not really going to be that easy, but it was a start, Will.”
“A great one,” he agreed. “One of these days I hope you’ll be able to do that with me, just decide I’m one of the good guys and open up your heart to me.”
“Maybe I’ll try having another one of those stern talks with myself and see what happens,” she said, not entirely in jest. “In the meantime, I like where we are.”
“Which is?” he asked.
She frowned at the question. “You don’t know?”
“I want to hear your interpretation.”
“Together. A couple. Friends finding our way toward something more,” she said. “I don’t know how else to put it.”
He leaned down and pressed
