“Having the whole photography thing dangled in front of me, first by Peter back home and then by Megan, it was exciting. I know I should be ecstatic to have gotten such reactions from the two of them, and I am. But a whole lifetime of it? I don’t know that I have the drive for it, Luke. And that’s what it will take to be a success, isn’t it? It’s not something to be done by half measures.”
Luke shook his head, clearly bemused by her change of heart. “No one is saying you have to pursue it, if it’s not what you want,” he told her. “But shouldn’t you at least give it more of a chance?”
“Oh, I will,” she said. “I’m not foolish enough to turn my back on something I might actually be good at, not after never excelling at anything before. And Peter’s committed me to doing these jobs. I certainly won’t let him down.”
She met his gaze. “You know what’s ironic? For years I had no direction for my life back home. When Grandfather suggested this trip, I thought I’d find what I needed here. Amazingly, all the signs here point in exactly the same direction—toward photography. And yet I still feel unsettled and at loose ends, like it’s all a bad fit.”
Luke frowned at her words. “How were you hoping to fit in here?”
“I don’t know exactly,” she responded evasively, though it wasn’t true. She’d wanted more here. She’d wanted him, not in the way she had him, but with a future all tied up in a pretty bow. It had been a girl’s daydream, really.
“Is this about me?” he asked, his expression wary. “Is it about me not being ready to take the next step in our relationship?”
Usually she appreciated his directness, but right this second she found it annoying and egotistical, especially with that look on his face like a cornered animal. “Not everything is about you, Luke.”
“I’m well aware of that,” he said patiently. “But I’m asking if you made this trip hoping for something more to happen between us. You’ve been hinting at that for days now, and I thought I’d explained where things stood.”
She regarded him with a touch of defiance that eventually faltered. “Oh, you have. Don’t worry, I know the way of things, Luke. We had a bit of a fling in Ireland. It’s continuing quite nicely here, but that’s all it is.”
He actually looked shocked by her assessment. It had him unexpectedly backpedaling. “And if I were to say it’s not that casual? Would that make you happier?”
She frowned at the question. “What do you mean?”
“What if it’s more than a fling to me? What if I truly care about you?”
“Do you?” she pressed, fighting to keep her hopes from spinning wildly out of control. It wouldn’t do to leap to conclusions, not about something like this.
He smiled, taking her hands in his, but then his expression turned serious. “Here’s the truth, Moira,” he said. “My feelings for you were strong from the moment we met, but, like you, I’ve had little sense of direction in my life. This place is my chance to prove myself, not just to my family, but also to myself. I want to have something to offer you when the time comes. Until I have that, I’ve been trying not to rush into anything else.”
She found his earnest tone oddly endearing. “One thing at a time, then? How many ways do you have to repeat that to me before I can accept it? I must be making you crazy, coming back to the same thing time after time. You’ll make a wild success of this place and then decide whether I fit in. That’s the bottom line.”
“Not if you fit in,” he corrected. “There’s no question of that. It’ll be more a matter of whether you want to. You could move forward with your photography and discover that you’re truly passionate about it. I think right now you’re all nerves, wondering if it’s real. I think you’d rather not try than risk failing.”
“It’s not about being afraid to fail,” she said fiercely. “I’ve failed at plenty in my life. I’m used to it.” What she’d never reached for before was love, and she was terrified of failing at that. She looked him in the eye. “Since we’re being honest, do you really want to hear what I want now?”
“Sure.”
“I want to help you make a success of this place,” she said with total candor. “And that’s not entirely so I can work side by side with you and sneak kisses every chance we get.” At least that was a partial truth, if not the whole truth.
He grinned at that. “Then why else would you want to do it?”
“Because it’s something I love,” she said simply. “I left school because nothing there seemed to excite me. I was wasting my time and theirs. The only time I’ve felt at home was working in places just like this, chatting up the customers, making someone lonely smile just a bit. Mum and my granddad would never have approved of such a thing as a career. They would have seen it as wasting my life.” She shrugged. “But even more than photography, it feels right to me.”
Luke regarded her with amazement. “Moira, if you wanted to stay and work here, why didn’t you say so from the beginning? If we can work out all the proper visas or whatever it takes, nothing would please me more. I’m sure Connor could
