“I’m sorry,” she said with sympathy, “but no. We don’t have a home that can take all three of you.”
Sean had stood up then, his arms across his chest. “Then I’m not going,” he said. “I want to be with my brothers.”
“Me, too,” Michael had whispered, his eyes filling with tears, his hand tucked in Ryan’s.
“I wish that were possible,” she replied, her gaze on Ryan. “It will be okay. We’ll look for a place where you can stay together, but it may not be for a while.”
Ryan had heard the finality in her tone and known it was useless to argue. Still, with Sean’s gaze on him, he’d felt as if he had to try. “You don’t understand. Sean and me need to look out for Michael. He’s still little and he’s our responsibility.” It was a lesson that had been ingrained in them from the first time their brother had left the house with them to play. They were to protect him against any eventuality, but they’d never envisioned anything like this.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Sean and Michael will be coming with me now. You’ll stay here tonight. I’ll have a new family ready for you tomorrow.” She’d turned to his brothers and spoken briskly. “Get your things, boys.”
“No,” Sean said, still defiant.
Ryan had looked into the woman’s unrelenting gaze and known it was over. “You don’t have a choice, Sean,” he’d said, defeated. “We have to do what she says.”
Ryan would never forget the look of betrayal in Sean’s eyes as he left. Ryan had watched through the living room window as they drove away, but Sean had never looked back. All of his attention had been focused on Michael, who was sobbing his eyes out.
Ryan hadn’t cried that night or the next, when he’d been transferred to his first official foster home. For weeks he’d asked about his brothers, but the replies had been evasive, and eventually he’d given up. Even at nine he’d known that he was no match for a system run by adults. He’d fought back the only way he knew how—by stirring up trouble everywhere he went.
It had been a childish form of retaliation against people who’d only wanted to help. He could see that now, but back then it had become a way of life, his only way of lashing back.
Now, staring up at Sean’s apartment, he sighed. How could Sean possibly forgive him when he couldn’t forgive himself for not finding his brothers years ago, for not reuniting them? It didn’t matter that he’d only been nine. As the years passed, he could have found a way.
Maybe Sean hadn’t forgiven him. Maybe the reason Sean had passed along his address was simply because he wanted an opportunity to vent years of pent-up rage. Ryan thought he might even welcome such a reaction. It couldn’t possibly be worse than the anger he’d directed inward all these years.
There was only one way to find out how Sean felt, though. He had to cross the street, walk up the stairs and knock on his door. And he’d do just that…any minute now.
Maggie clutched the address of the apartment across town where Ryan was going to meet his brother. She drove there with her heart in her throat. When she found the block, even though it was after ten o’clock, she spotted Ryan sitting in his car, his shoulders slumped, his gaze locked on the building where his brother lived.
She crossed the street and tapped on his window. “Want some company?”
He rolled the window down, even as he shook his head. “Too late.”
“You’ve already seen him?”
“Nope. I’ve decided this is a bad idea.”
Maggie walked around to the passenger side and slid in. “You’ll never forgive yourself if you get this close and don’t follow through.”
“I’m used to it. There are a lot of things I’ve never forgiven myself for.”
“Such as?”
“I should have stopped them from leaving.”
“Who? Your parents?” she asked incredulously. “You think you could have changed their minds?”
“I should have tried.”
“Did you even know what they were planning?”
“No.”
“Well then, how were you supposed to stop it?”
“I was the oldest. I should have figured out what was going on.”
“You were nine!”
He turned a bleak expression on her. “What if Sean can’t forgive me?”
“First you have to give him a chance. If he doesn’t, then at least you’ve tried.”
He studied her face, then finally drew in a ragged breath, and nodded. “Okay, let’s do it.”
The walk up that sidewalk and into the building was the longest Maggie had ever taken, because Ryan’s tension was palpable. When he knocked on the door, it was opened by a man who was almost his spitting image. His hair was shorter. He didn’t have the scar on his mouth. But there was no mistaking the fact that these two men were brothers.
Maggie held her breath as they stared at each other, sizing each other up, maintaining a reserve that no brothers should ever feel.
“Sean?”
The younger man nodded.
Ryan swallowed hard, then said in a voice barely above a whisper. “I’m Ryan. Your brother.”
For what seemed like an eternity, Sean didn’t reply, but finally, when Maggie was about to give up hope, he opened his arms. “Ah, man, what the hell took you so long?”
Chapter Fifteen
Ryan clung to his brother, fighting tears of relief and surprising joy. Never in a million years had he expected to feel this way. He’d anticipated looking into the face of a stranger, feeling no more than a faint twinge of recognition perhaps. Instead, it was as if they’d never been apart, as if on some level the deep connection between them as children had never been broken.
Finally Ryan stood back and surveyed his brother, noting that Sean’s hair was shorter but still had a defiant tendency to curl, just as his did. The eyes were the same as well, though perhaps the blue was a shade deeper.
“I guess you’ve
