At least he hadn’t given her so much as a hint about the mistakes he’d made in his marriage as well as those he’d made with his son. He never wanted Emily to know about the probably inevitable distance there’d been between him and Jenny, a gap he hadn’t been able to close no matter how much he’d wanted to, all because a piece of his heart had been missing. That was a guilt he’d have to live with forever. And if he ever forgot it, the Farmers would always be there, ready to remind him.
What he had revealed was damning enough. Emily was right about one thing, for sure. She, of all people, understood what it was like to have a father who was so absorbed in his own world he neglected everyone around him.
As close as he’d been to the family for all these years, Boone barely knew Sam Castle. He could count on one hand the number of times Emily’s father had put in an appearance at the beach. It had been her mother who’d dropped the girls off when they’d spent summers with Cora Jane, who’d paid visits to check up on them, who drove over for holiday meals with their grandparents. Even when Emily’s mother had died and Boone had skipped school and driven across the state to be there for Emily at the funeral, it was as if Sam Castle weren’t really there. Oh, he was physically present, but emotionally he’d been in some other place. It had been Cora Jane who’d comforted the girls and handled the reception.
Samantha rarely mentioned their father. Emily spoke of him mostly with disdain. Only Gabi seemed to worship him, carving out a workaholic lifestyle for herself in Raleigh in an unmistakable attempt to get his attention. From what Boone had observed and heard, it hadn’t worked.
If Boone had needed a role model for the type of father not to be, Sam Castle would have been it. Even so, he’d wandered dangerously close to being exactly like him.
Jenny’s death had shocked him into taking a closer look at the man he’d become. He hadn’t liked what he’d seen. Ironically, even though she was long out of his life, on some level he’d found a way to blame Emily for that, too. After all, had he been able to throw himself heart and soul into his marriage, he wouldn’t have chosen work over his family time and again.
Emily’s return had raised all those complex emotions once more. Just the realization that he was still attracted to her had filled him with guilt. He’d shortchanged his wife, shortchanged his son, buried himself in work and, in the end, it had been for nothing. Emily still had a hold on his heart...and he hated that. Now she had a hold on his son, and he hated that even more.
Boone was suddenly aware that Emily was on her feet beside him, shaking his arm. All around them people were cheering.
He stared at her blankly, but instinctively stood up. “What happened?”
“B.J. just scored a goal, that’s what,” she said excitedly.
He looked at the field where B.J. was surrounded by his screaming teammates. B.J. looked toward the stands, a mile-wide smile on his face.
“Did you see?” he mouthed.
His words couldn’t be heard, but Boone knew what he wanted to know. He gave B.J. a big thumbs-up, his own smile as big as his son’s.
When play resumed, Emily regarded him curiously. “Where’d you go a few minutes ago?”
“I was right here,” he equivocated.
“Physically, yes, but you sure weren’t paying attention to the game.”
“My mind wandered for a minute, that’s all.”
She looked as if she had questions she wanted to ask, but for once she kept them to herself. Good thing, he thought, since talking to her about the mistakes of his life and her role in them would open a can of worms best left sealed tight.
* * *
In the end, B.J.’s team won the game, two to one. B.J.’s goal had been the winning one, and now everyone was going out to a casual restaurant in nearby Manteo to celebrate. B.J. bounced up and down in front of Emily.
“You’ll come, right? It’s okay, isn’t it, Dad?”
Emily saw that it was anything but okay with Boone. “Sweetie, I really should get out to Castle’s and see how things are going.”
“But you have to come to the celebration,” B.J. insisted.
Boone interceded. “You heard her, son. She has other obligations.”
“A half hour,” B.J. pleaded.
Used to getting his own way, he seemed to know all the persuasive tactics required—asking, pleading. Emily suspected there’d be pouting next.
“That’s not so long,” he told her. “I get a prize for scoring a goal. Don’t you want to see that?”
Emily glanced at Boone, who shrugged, clearly giving up the fight just as B.J. had obviously anticipated. Sadly, she wasn’t made of tougher stuff.
“A half hour,” she conceded. “Just till you get your prize. Cora Jane will definitely want to see a picture of that. I can take one on my cell phone.”
“You can ride with us,” B.J. said, dragging her toward their car.
“I really should take the rental car, so I can leave,” Emily protested.
“I’ll bring you back to get the car whenever you’re ready,” Boone said, his voice resigned.
At the restaurant, B.J. immediately bounded off to sit with his teammates. Emily glanced at Boone, who stood just inside the door looking thoroughly uncomfortable.
“You planning to ditch your unwanted date?” she asked lightly. “Maybe hang out with some single soccer moms?”
His lips twitched. “And hear about it from now till eternity from B.J.? I don’t think so.”
“I won’t tell anyone. After all, it would be pretty humiliating. Why would I tell?”
He laughed. “You might not, but B.J. will have a lot to say. He may not have a name for what
