Boone nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”
When he came back, he gestured toward the water. “Want to go sit on the pier?”
“Sure.”
Boone led the way, trying to figure out what he was going to say to make things right. At the very end of the pier, the afternoon sun spilled onto the faded wood, leaving it warm. He held out his hand and Emily took it as she lowered herself to sit on the edge. He dropped down beside her.
“It’s so peaceful out here,” she murmured, her eyes closed as she turned her face up to the sun. “I’d forgotten what it was like just to sit here and listen to the sound of the water lapping against the shore and the breeze whispering through the trees. I’m sure there are plenty of places like this in Los Angeles, but I never get there. When I think of L.A., the sound that comes to mind is traffic, horns honking, car stereos blaring. Not exactly serene.”
“And yet you can’t wait to rush back there,” he said, unable to keep a bitter note from his voice.
She glanced at him. “It has its good sides, too, not the least of which is that I have work there.”
Boone studied her. “Do you really love what you do, Emily?”
“I’m good at it,” she said simply.
“That’s not really an answer, is it? People can be wildly successful and realize that something’s missing.”
She frowned at the comment, then sighed. “Okay, the regular jobs are creatively challenging, but I’ve recently realized that I need more than that from my work. That’s why this shelter means so much to me. It combines the things I love to do with something that is genuinely meaningful. It’s an amazing experience, Boone, and I think it’s exactly the kind of thing that’s been missing from my other jobs.”
He saw the way her eyes lit up when she talked about it and felt his stomach sink. He thought he could have competed with a plain old professional challenge and financial success, but how was he supposed to compete with something that had clearly touched her on another level? Was it time to cut his losses, after all? Just let her go? Admit that they’d tried again and failed?
When he considered the stakes—losing her for a second time in his life, at least in part because of stubborn pride—he knew he couldn’t do it. This time he had to fight, just not by the almost desperate means he’d used earlier, trying to snag a premature commitment from her.
“Em, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I got carried away earlier. I’m not giving you time to catch up.”
She finally faced him then. “It’s not that I don’t want marriage,” she said, her tone earnest. “Boone, I do love you. If I’m being honest, I can even admit I never stopped loving you. But if we’re even going to consider this, we have to take our time. We want to get it right, for B.J.’s sake and for ours. Jumping in before we’re ready?” She shook her head. “I’m so afraid it could doom us.”
He nudged her in the ribs. “So sensible,” he teased. “All these years I’ve thought of you as the impulsive one. I’ve been the mature, responsible adult with a kid. I think I just lost it a little when we were together earlier. I saw marriage as a quick way to seal the deal, maybe even to thumb my nose at Jodie and force her to deal with reality.”
Her lips curved slightly. “Now there’s a romantic reason to walk down the aisle.”
“How about I take a couple of steps back, try to remind myself how the whole courting thing is supposed to work, and we deal with our issues bit by bit until we’re both comfortable with the solutions?”
She leaned into his side. “An excellent plan,” she agreed. “Very rational and mature.”
When she met his gaze, her eyes flashed with humor. “I guess that rules out all that impulsive kissing we had going on earlier.”
Boone laughed. “What rules that out is B.J. being less than fifty yards away in the house.”
“There is that,” she said with unmistakable disappointment.
“We had most of the day,” he reminded her. “Seemed pretty memorable to me. It might hold me till you get back to town.”
“If it doesn’t, say the word and I’ll try to get back sooner,” she offered. “And that invitation to Aspen is still on the table. It’s a beautiful place for a romantic rendezvous.”
Boone finally allowed himself a smile, satisfied that they were back on track. “I’ll definitely keep that in mind.”
But as appealing as the thought of a tryst in the Colorado mountains might be, it was nothing compared to a lifetime of having this woman back in his life, maybe having a kid or two of their own. It was hardly the same sort of fantasy he’d been talking about earlier, but it was the one he suddenly wanted more than anything. For the first time in a lot of years, he thought it just might be within reach.
17
“Daddy, Grandma Jodie wants to talk to you,” B.J. said, holding out the phone.
Boone sucked in a deep breath. He’d managed to avoid Jodie’s calls—God bless caller ID—ever since she’d left her message ranting about Emily, but B.J. always spoke to her each week. Boone tried his best to be out of the room, but today his evasion was clearly impossible. He took the phone and tried to inject an upbeat note into his greeting. “How are you, Jodie?”
“Doing well enough,” she said, but there was an angry edge to her voice that belied the statement.
“How’s Frank?” Boone asked, hoping to drag out the pleasantries as long as possible.
“Playing more golf than any human being needs to play,” she said. “Boone, there are things on my mind, as I’m sure you know.”
“I listened to your messages,” he confirmed. The last
