“And control really matters to you?”
“Of my life? Sure. What about you? Don’t you like to know where you’re headed, what you need to do to get there?”
“Not really. I tend to take things a day at a time, especially the past couple of years. I got hit upside the head with a lesson in what really matters. I also learned the hard way how little control we really have over those things.”
Perplexed, she studied him, wondering how he could possibly live with the uncertainty. “But what drives you?”
Wade laughed. “I suppose I’m not driven, not the way you mean. I don’t have huge ambitions. What I do have are things I love to do and a lifestyle that allows me to do them.”
It was a laid-back concept that was totally alien to her. “I don’t understand.”
“Because you’ve always had a plan,” he teased, then added quickly, “And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”
“But you say it as if it is,” she accused. “Structure’s important to me. The past couple of weeks since I left my job, the lack of structure and focus has almost driven me crazy. I don’t know what to do with myself, so I do nothing.”
“Maybe that’s what you need to be doing right now,” he said.
“Nothing?”
“Exactly. Sometimes the best way to hear what’s going on deep inside yourself is to be very quiet and still.”
“You must not do nothing the way I do,” she said in frustration. “I have about a million voices yelling at me to get busy, and not a one of them so far telling me what it is I should be doing. I need to sort through all that noise and make that plan. I should be updating my résumé, making lists of companies where I could inquire about jobs, start networking again.”
“If you know all that, why aren’t you doing it?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I guess I’m not ready. Or I’m afraid they’ll all have the same reaction to me being pregnant.”
“Or maybe it’s not what you really want anymore,” Wade suggested quietly.
Gabi frowned, genuinely shocked by the suggestion. “What?”
He grinned. “A scary thought after all that careful planning for so many years, huh?”
“Of course it’s what I want,” she insisted, though there was no mistaking the defensive note that had crept into her voice. She recognized that as a clear sign she wasn’t as sure of herself as she wanted to be.
“Then why haven’t you printed out the résumés or made those calls?”
“I’ve been...”
“Busy? That’s not what you said.”
She scowled at him. “Who needs a shrink when you’re around?”
He laughed. “Just throwing out a few things for you to consider. I don’t know you that well. Maybe I’ve gotten it all wrong.”
“You have,” she said flatly. “In fact, first thing tomorrow, I’m going to come up with a new plan.” She nodded in satisfaction. “There, you see. I have a manageable goal and a timetable.”
“Good for you. I’ll look forward to hearing all about it. Now we probably need to go inside and see how things are going between Jimmy and your dad.”
“Sure. Right,” she said, her tone disgruntled.
Wade stopped her just before they went inside. “No reason to be upset, okay? You will figure this out.”
“Of course I will,” she said with a confidence she was far from feeling. She would figure it out, because this baby was coming and she had no other choice.
* * *
As people drifted into Cora Jane’s kitchen to fill their plates for lunch, Wade pulled Jimmy aside.
“How’s it going? Are you enjoying yourself?”
Jimmy’s eyes lit up. “This is totally awesome, man. Do you know who Sam Castle is? He’s, like, this icon in the biomedical field. Like the Bill Gates or Steve Jobs in that world. And you’ll never guess what he told me.”
“What?” Wade asked, though he had a pretty good idea.
“His company offers scholarships to outstanding science students. Even though I graduated last June, he says there are extenuating circumstances and he’s sure I can qualify.”
“That would be incredible,” Wade said. “That’s what you want? To go away to college and study to work in this field?”
“More than anything,” Jimmy admitted. “I just never thought it could happen. Even before my dad’s accident, I knew there wasn’t enough money for me to go to a major university. Junior college, maybe, but that’s not enough to land a really good job in this field.”
Wade couldn’t help wondering if money was so tight, how the Templetons would manage if Jimmy was no longer providing that little bit of extra income. As if the teen had read his mind, Jimmy’s expression fell and he muttered a curse.
“I can’t go, can I?” he said, disappointment etched on his face. “Not even if I win this scholarship? My family needs the money I bring home every week.”
“If you get the scholarship, you will go to school,” Wade said decisively.
“But Mom and Dad are counting on me,” Jimmy protested, looking crestfallen. “I can’t just bail on them.”
“I’m sure there are ways to take a lighter load, maybe work part-time to help out,” Wade said.
“Not if I’m going to get good grades so I can keep the scholarship,” Jimmy protested.
Sam Castle obviously overheard him, because he stepped closer and put a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about your folks,” he reassured him. “We’ll figure something out. The fact that they’re your top priority makes me more certain than ever that you’re the right person for one of these scholarships.”
“That’s right,” Cora Jane said, joining them. “When a young person demonstrates such a sense of responsibility toward their family, that should be rewarded. Don’t you even think of walking away from this opportunity if it comes your way. We’ll all work together to find a way to make sure your family has whatever they need.”
“They’re not going to take charity,” Jimmy warned, looking as if he hardly dared to hope there might be a solution. “Dad wouldn’t allow it.”
“And
