“And for you,” Meg said, chiming in for the first time. “You matter, too, Gabi. And I, for one, think you’d make a terrific mother.”
“You don’t really know me that well,” Gabi protested.
“Remember what we said when Meg first brought you here to see me?” Sally asked. “You’re a kindred spirit. We’re intuitive about these things.”
“Besides, if I can actually meet the challenge of getting my teenage daughter out of high school, into college and settled in life, then raising a child should be a breeze for you. Look at the example you’ve had. Cora Jane Castle is a legend around here.”
“An original, for sure,” Louise agreed. “A strong, compassionate woman. And since she clearly adores my brother, she’s obviously a woman of discriminating taste, as well.”
“Ah-ha!” Sally said, her expression brightening. “That’s the connection. Gabi and Wade!” She looked from Gabi to Louise and back again. “So what’s the story there? Are you two an item?”
Gabi blushed furiously. “We’re friends,” she said very firmly, then said a little prayer of thanks when Louise didn’t correct her.
A grin spread across Meg’s face. “Not entirely buying that,” she said. “How about you, Sally?”
“Not a word of it,” Sally agreed. “Louise? You obviously know more than we do. What’s the real scoop?”
“If Gabi says they’re just friends, then I’m going with that,” Louise said diplomatically.
“And on that note, I need to take off,” Gabi said hurriedly. “Thanks for another great lesson, Sally. And thanks for the lunch. Great to see you both again,” she said to Meg and Louise.
Though she doubted the speculation about her and Wade died with her exit, at least she didn’t have to be in the room to keep up the pretense it was getting harder and harder to maintain. Because the truth was, lately her feelings for Wade were getting to be a little bit more than just friendly. And, though she’d never in a million years have admitted it to Louise, she shared some of her same doubts about the wisdom of that.
16
Gabi made an appointment with the obstetrician Louise had recommended, but when the time came to go, she was oddly reluctant. Cora Jane sensed it at once.
“Want me to come with you, honey bun? I know Dr. Hamilton. You’re going to like her. She’s no-nonsense, but she gives her patients her full attention and compassion.”
“It’s not that I’m afraid of seeing a new doctor,” Gabi said, trying to put her finger on why she was having so much trouble getting herself to leave the house.
“Is it because Louise told you that Dr. Hamilton could help with an adoption if that’s what you decided on?” Cora Jane asked with astonishing perceptiveness. “Are you suddenly feeling pressured to make that decision? Because you don’t have to make it now. And you know how the rest of us feel. You don’t have to give this baby up. Not ever. We’ll welcome him or her with open arms.”
“I know that,” she replied. “And maybe that is the problem. As my due date starts getting closer, even though it’s still a few months away, I am feeling pressured to decide one way or the other. And there will be an ultrasound today. Up until now I haven’t wanted to know the sex of the baby, but for the past few days I’ve started thinking I’d like to know.”
Cora Jane smiled. “But that will make this child even more real to you and make the decision to let go even harder,” she guessed. “Is that what’s worrying you?”
“Exactly.” She looked to her grandmother for guidance. “What do you think I should do?”
“About learning the sex of the baby?”
“About any of it.”
“Is knowing if the baby’s a boy or a girl truly going to change your decision?” Cora Jane asked. “I mean, do you want a little girl, but maybe not a boy? Or vice versa?”
“No, no,” Gabi said hurriedly. “That’s not it.”
“Then, if it were me, I’d want to know,” Cora Jane said. “And I’ll tell you why. You’re going to be carrying this child for a while to come. It’s natural to start talking to it. In fact, I’ve heard you doing it already. And I honestly believe babies come to know their mother’s voice. I think this child, boy or girl, should know it’s loved. Knowing the gender is a piece of that, don’t you think? Maybe we shouldn’t but we tend to talk to little boys differently than we do little girls.”
Gabi found herself chuckling at that. “Grandmother, I think you just set the gender equality debate back about fifty years. If moms started talking to baby girls in the womb about being iron workers or truck drivers, what a different world we’d live in.”
“I think maybe that’s a conversation to have with them a little later,” Cora Jane said wryly. “But you do get my point, don’t you?”
“I do, actually,” Gabi admitted. “And I think I want to know. It just scares me to think what that will do to my resolve to give the baby up.”
“Honey bun, I think that resolve already has cracks in it a mile wide,” Cora Jane told her.
Blinking back unexpected tears, Gabi whispered, “I think you could be right.”
“Maybe we should back up a step or two,” Cora Jane suggested. “Why did you consider adoption in the first place? Do you not want children?”
“When I was working nonstop, I don’t think I ever really thought about it,” Gabi admitted. “But lately I’ve realized that, yes, I do.”
“Was it about losing your job and not being sure you could provide adequately for a child?”
Gabi shook her head. “Though that’s certainly a consideration, I think I know myself well enough to believe that I’ll get back on my feet. And I have savings and that severance package right now.”
“Okay, then. Was it about Paul, about his very negative reaction?”
Asked directly like that, Gabi recognized that her grandmother was on to something. She nodded slowly. “I
