She wasn’t ready to see him yet. She had a lot of things to figure out before she spent any more time with him. While she might not need to know if what she felt for him really was love, she certainly needed to know if she was truly ready to settle for less than a lifetime commitment. Hannah had made her see that games could be fun, but could also be emotionally dangerous.
She unpacked her bags, poured herself a glass of tea, then grabbed a light blanket and settled into a rocker on the porch. She could hear the soothing sound of gentle waves washing onshore, the occasional call of a bird. It was peaceful and serene, just what she’d been hoping for when she’d come home.
Inside her head, however, her thoughts continued to be in turmoil. If only she’d met Seth a few months from now when she’d truly had time to figure out who she was these days. If only they’d met when he’d had time to put aside the grief that still consumed him. If only he were older or she were younger. If only, if only... Unfortunately there were too many things that couldn’t be changed, important things that couldn’t be dismissed so easily.
But even as she struggled to put things in perspective, to examine her innermost thoughts, she kept remembering things he’d said to challenge her, comments that had made her laugh, flirtatious remarks that had made her blush or made her pulse race. And remembering those things made her smile. And in so many ways, more importantly, they made her feel alive and hopeful for the first time in ages.
“Why couldn’t this have been less complicated?” she murmured aloud, the question fueled by regret.
Most likely because they weren’t untested teenagers the way she and Luke had been. Things had seemed so simple back then, at least until the time came for the hard decisions about going their separate ways for college and into the future.
Instead, she and Seth had met when they both carried enough emotional baggage to be charged extra when they flew. Adults had history that couldn’t be ignored. They’d also formed habits and discovered needs they wanted fulfilled. Merging lives at that stage required patience, understanding, determination and compromise. Did she possess any of those qualities?
Patience? Well, hers was definitely questionable, she concluded candidly.
Understanding? She tried to listen and be empathetic, so that probably fell into her plus column.
Determination? Unquestionably that was her best trait, at least among the four.
The ability to compromise? Wasn’t that what she’d done a million and one times with Marshall? Wasn’t that what she’d vowed never to do again, at least to the extent that she lost herself in the process? How was she to reconcile that promise to herself with the reality that every relationship required compromise to succeed?
The honest assessment left her as confused as ever, and more exhausted. She sighed, folded the blanket and took her empty glass inside. Maybe if she slept on all this, she’d awaken in the morning with the right answers clear as crystal.
First, though, she had to fall asleep. Sadly, sleep turned out to be just as elusive as those answers she was seeking.
* * *
Since nothing had magically changed overnight and Abby awoke as confused as ever, she buried herself in work. By midmorning she’d made dozens of calls, organized her notes for the fish fries and the silent auction, then drew up what she hoped was a persuasive new presentation to show to the mayor and subsequently to the council when they finally held their next meeting after the first of the year.
What she needed, though, was an ally, someone who knew the mayor and believed in the project. Since Grandma Jenny had already played her trump card by getting Abby and Sandra at the same table for lunch, maybe it was time to seek out additional support. She headed to Flavors.
Behind the counter, Mary’s expression brightened when Abby walked in. “You back for more ice cream?”
“More ice cream and some company, if you have the time,” Abby said.
“Mornings in here are slow except at the height of the tourist season,” Mary told her. “And this time of year, everyone’s already worrying about gaining weight over the holidays from all the parties and family celebrations. They don’t eat a lot of ice cream on top of that.”
“Wouldn’t that make it the perfect time to take a vacation?” Abby asked.
Mary laughed. “There are no vacations when you run a business like this. I can’t just shut the door and walk away, even for a few weeks. As soon as I do, someone wants five gallons of some special flavor for a party and I hear about it if I’m not around to provide it. It’s not worth the aggravation. A small business thrives on word-of-mouth and excellent customer service.”
“Sounds like a good way to drive yourself into an early grave,” Abby told her as Mary set a bowl of mango gelato in front of her, then pulled out a chair and sat down. “You’re not having any?”
Mary shook her head. “Look at me,” she said, patting her generous hips. “I learned a long time ago that eating my own ice cream was a surefire way to pack on extra pounds. I’m still taking off what I gained before that lesson sank in. I may not be able to get around the occasional taste test when I’m experimenting, but I’ve cut out any more than that.”
“Will it bother you to watch me devour this?” Abby asked. “It really is amazing.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” Mary said. “I live for compliments. They’re almost as satisfying as a bowlful of ice cream.” She studied Abby curiously. “Did you stop by for more ice cream or would I be safe in guessing you want to talk about Blue Heron Cove?”
“Good guess,” Abby confirmed. She filled her in on the most recent complication with the contractor. “I don’t
