“Actually, I can,” Jeanette said, smiling. She thought of how often Tom had said something equally outrageous to her. “What did you tell him?”
“That he was going to need a whole lot more than pretty words if he expected me to have anything to do with him,” her mother responded. “But the truth was, I was a goner and we both knew it.”
“How long before you gave in and married him?” Jeanette asked, wondering if she could compare what happened back then to her own situation and learn anything about what might lie ahead.
“Now, there are two parts to that answer,” her mother said. “I gave in a whole lot sooner than I said yes to marrying him.”
Jeanette couldn’t help it. She gaped. “Mother!”
“Well, the marrying had to wait. I was barely eighteen and my parents weren’t about to let me marry a man on a whim. We could have eloped, of course, but I wanted a real wedding and your daddy couldn’t deny me anything I had my heart set on, so we waited. We got married one year to the day after we met. Your father picked the date, which proved to me just how romantic he was. He’d remembered the significance of it.”
“Have you ever regretted it?”
“Not for one single minute,” her mother said. “You know, to this day, I climb up on that tractor with him on our anniversary and we take a ride around the farm.”
Jeanette thought back. “I remember that,” she said with a sense of amazement. “I never understood the significance of it. The rest of the year Daddy couldn’t get you anywhere near that tractor.”
“I’ve always had a healthy respect for farm equipment. It’s big and dangerous if it’s not handled properly. Just look at what happened to your daddy. I count my blessings that it wasn’t any worse.”
“Mom, why didn’t you let me know last week when it happened?” Jeanette asked, unable to keep an accusatory note out of her voice.
A long pause greeted the question. “You’ve been away so long,” her mother said finally. “I suppose your father and I got used to handling things on our own.”
Jeanette felt her temper stir. “You say that as if I abandoned you,” she said heatedly, unable to stop now that she’d started. “You and Dad shut me out. That’s why I left. There didn’t seem to be any reason to stay. Even when I mentioned coming home for a visit two months ago, you acted as if you didn’t really want me there.”
Her mother dropped her head. After a moment, she looked up and met Jeanette’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I honestly don’t know how things got so mixed up. After Ben died, it seemed like I was lost. I couldn’t cope with anything. And what little strength I did have...” She shrugged. “Well, your father needed me.”
“I needed you, too,” Jeanette said.
There was genuine dismay in her mother’s expression as she reached for Jeanette’s hand. “I know you did. Every time I looked at you, I could see the pain in your eyes, but I had no idea what to do about it. After Ben died, your father and I failed you. There’s no question in my mind about that. I don’t know that either of us could have done anything differently, but I am sorry. I regret the way we handled things, I truly do.”
This hint that her mother had at least recognized her pain allowed Jeanette to be more generous than she had been. “You and Dad were grieving. I understood that.”
“So were you,” her mother said, not cutting herself any slack. “I don’t know how we let ourselves pretend otherwise. You’d always been so self-sufficient, I suppose—” She stopped herself, then, “No, that’s no excuse. What we did was wrong.”
Her mother’s words, even though such a long time coming, eased the ache in Jeanette’s heart. Healing was still a long way off, but it was a start.
“Maybe I should have tried harder, come home more often, instead of just giving up,” Jeanette said, willing to shoulder at least a little of the blame for how things had deteriorated between them.
Her mother squeezed her hand. “You’re here now. Your daddy is going to be so pleased when he wakes up and sees you. He’s missed you. He’s too proud to let you know that, but I know he has.” She sighed. “Maybe things will be different now. Maybe us finding our way back to each other is the silver lining to this cloud.”
Jeanette wanted that. She really did. She just wasn’t sure things could change so easily.
* * *
Jeanette spent most of the next week at the hospital. Her father improved quickly and, as her mother predicted, he was clearly happy to find her at his bedside. Sadly, though, after an initially tearful exchange, he retreated once more into silence.
“I think it’s depression,” Maddie said when Jeanette described it to her. Maddie and the Sweet Magnolias had taken turns coming to the hospital to sit with her on the rare occasions when Tom wasn’t by her side.
“You should speak to his doctor about it,” Maddie continued. “Or get him into counseling.”
“Not going to happen,” Jeanette said wearily. “He thinks psychiatrists and psychologists are
