The empty pizza boxes and beer bottles had been taken away with a full load of trash and the first batch of empty packing boxes. Now she was all alone in her new house. She gazed around and her eyes filled with tears. It was a little overwhelming to realize this belonged to her, that she actually had a cozy home in which she could build whatever kind of life she wanted.
The last of the CDs finished playing and silence fell. After so many years in cramped apartments, with neighbors only a couple of layers of wallboard away, it felt a little eerie to be so totally alone. When someone knocked lightly on the front door, she jumped nervously.
She pulled aside the lacy curtain on the door to peek through the glass panel. Tom stood on the front porch, a bottle of champagne and a bouquet of flowers in hand. Her heart lurched at the sight of him. He wasn’t supposed to be back here, not when she was feeling a little too alone and vulnerable.
She opened the door a crack. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to help you celebrate your new home.”
“You were here when we toasted earlier. That’ll do.”
“I thought a more private celebration was in order.”
She couldn’t seem to tear her gaze away from the hopeful gleam in his eyes. “You confuse me,” she murmured.
His mouth curved. “Ditto.”
She considered her options and finally stepped aside to let him pass. “You can stay for a few minutes. Long enough for one glass of champagne.”
“Okay,” he said solemnly.
“What’s in the bag?”
“Champagne glasses. I wasn’t sure if you had any or if they were unpacked.” He withdrew two elegant crystal flutes. Something told her they were old and valuable.
“You been raiding your mother’s china cabinet?”
He laughed. “Something like that.”
She spotted the Waterford mark on the bottom. “Nice taste.”
“Glad you approve,” he said as he popped the cork on the champagne and filled the glasses to the brim. He grinned at her reaction. “Since you’re limiting me to one, I want to make it last.”
He handed a glass to her, then lifted his own. “To you finding all the happiness you deserve in your new home.”
“Thank you,” she said and touched her flute to his, then sipped the champagne.
Finally she risked looking into his eyes and asking the question that had been on her mind all day. “What are you really doing here? I mean the whole day, not just right this second.”
“Isn’t that obvious?”
“Not to me.”
“I’m trying to apologize.”
“For?”
“Turning you down. Embarrassing you. Making you think for one single second that I didn’t want you.” He met her gaze. “How am I doing?”
“It’s a nice start. Keep going.”
He leaned forward, his expression solemn. “You took me by surprise. I’d wanted you for so long and there you were, all eager and willing, and then I had to go and question your motives. It was stupid.”
She sighed. “No, actually, it wasn’t. You were right to question me. And you were right that I was going to wind up regretting what we did if it didn’t mean anything.”
“It would have meant something,” he told her emphatically. “There’s no way it couldn’t, not between us.”
“But it wouldn’t have meant what it should,” she argued. “It wouldn’t have been a commitment. It wouldn’t have been the first step toward forever.”
“You sound so sure of that.”
“I am sure. You’re an ambitious man. You have your entire future mapped out. And I admire that, I really do. It just seems there’s no place in that future for me.”
She half expected him to argue, but he didn’t. He nodded, which confirmed everything she feared.
“A few weeks ago I didn’t understand how you could reach that conclusion,” he said. “I think I do now.”
“Oh?”
“You told me what happened after your brother died,” he said simply. “I know how your folks pushed you aside in their grief, how they made you believe you didn’t matter. That must have hurt terribly.”
“You have no idea how much,” she said.
“That kind of hurt leaves scars,” he said. “It makes you tough. You’re not about to let anyone do that to you again, make you feel less important than you deserve to be.”
“You’re wrong,” she said. “For a long time, I thought that’s what I deserved. I walked straight into relationships I knew from the first were doomed. And, of course, I got exactly what I’d expected. I was second-best to a career, to some other woman, to all sorts of things. When I moved here after one more disastrous relationship, I made a vow to myself that I was done with that.”
“So to protect yourself, you decided not to let anyone get close,” he said. “Especially a bad risk like me.”
“Exactly.”
“What if I could prove to you that I’m not as bad a risk as you think?”
“I don’t think you can. You’ve already spelled out your future plans. You can’t take it back now.”
“Will you let me try?”
“I don’t think there’s any way to unring that particular bell. Your plans are your plans,” she said miserably.
“Plans change,” he said simply.
“Not overnight, they don’t.”
“True,” he said. “It’s going to take time for me to convince you that we can work this out.”
“But don’t you see? That’s the one thing we don’t have. You’re moving on, maybe not tomorrow or next month or even next year, but you will go. I’ve found the place where I want to stay forever.”
He seemed momentarily daunted by her words, but then he reached for her hands and clasped them in his. “What if I could prove to you that the place you want to be
