Kevin retreated emotionally as well as physically. Perhaps, she thought, because his own pride was at stake. He had shown himself to be vulnerable, and she doubted he would allow her to see his need again. Like boxers they had gone to their respective corners to soothe their wounds and prepare for the next round.
* * *
That night their unspoken truce was still uneasy. The conversation at dinner was stilted and confined to the barest attempt at politeness. More than once Kevin looked as if he wanted to say something more important than “Pass the pepper,” but each time he snapped his mouth closed, leaving the words unsaid. He left the table before dessert, declaring that the cobbler should be saved for Jason and Dana.
Lacey and Kevin sat on opposite sides of the living room, unopened books in their hands, both of them staring at the fire. It was Lacey, nerves unbearably taut, who finally broke the silence.
“I picked up a movie at the video store earlier. Would you like to watch it?”
Kevin shrugged. “We might as well. You put it on. I’ll be back in a minute.”
When he hadn’t returned after a few minutes, she went looking for him. She found him in the kitchen with the refrigerator door open wide. He was scanning the newly filled shelves.
“What are you looking for?” she asked.
“Something to eat while we watch the movie.”
She knew what he meant by that. To his way of thinking, carrot sticks, apples and celery were not snacks. A bowl of chocolate chip ice cream, a bigger bowl of buttered popcorn or a handful of crackers with cheddar cheese went with old movies. So did Mrs. Renfield’s latest cherry cobbler, which just an hour earlier Kevin had vowed to save. Yet in the midst of a snack attack, she doubted he would remember the promise.
Lacey also knew that she dare not offer advice on the subject of his diet. He’d already indicated what he thought of her interference. She consoled herself with a reminder that Kevin was a grown man. If he was going to improve his health, it would have to be a conscious choice on his part. It was time to let go of her own need to protect him, a need based on her desperate fear of losing him. It was no easier than Jason’s first day at school or his departure for college. In so many ways it was more important than either.
Kevin glanced back at her, his expression defensive. “No comment?” he inquired.
“None.”
He muttered something under his breath, reached into the refrigerator and withdrew the carrot sticks. Lacey let out the breath she’d been holding. Kevin put a handful of the carrots on a plate, regarded them with disgust and slammed the refrigerator door.
“This better be one helluva a movie,” he grumbled as he stalked past her.
“Bogart and Bacall,” she reminded him. “How could it be anything else?”
In no time at all Kevin was so absorbed in the film that he didn’t even reach for the remaining carrots. Just as Lacey had finally begun to relax, the phone rang. She grabbed it as Kevin cut off the VCR and headed for the kitchen.
“Lacey, it’s Paula. Is this a bad time?”
“No, it’s fine.” Unless Kevin was using it as an excuse to sneak the last of that cobbler, she thought. “What’s up?”
“We could really use your help tomorrow. Is there any chance at all you can get to Boston?”
Lacey had a hunch it would be good to allow Kevin some space, more than she’d given him even today. Not only that, she knew she could do with a real break. The nonstop tension of fighting Kevin and her own emotions was beginning to get to her.
“I may be late, but I’ll be there,” she promised.
“Are you okay? You sound funny,” Paula said, quick to pick up on Lacey’s mood.
“I’m just tired. I’ll get a good night’s sleep and be fine by the time I see you.”
“If you say so,” her friend said skeptically. “Is Kevin okay?”
“Getting better all the time,” she responded honestly.
“And you don’t intend to say any more than that with him there,” Paula replied. “Okay, I’ll let you go for now, but be prepared to discuss this in depth tomorrow.”
Lacey’s laugh was strained. “Don’t threaten me, pal. I could stay here tomorrow. They’re predicting seventy degrees and sunny, a perfect day for the beach.”
“But I know you won’t let me down. See you.”
Lacey was slow to hang up. She should tell Kevin about the remarkable housing project in which Paula had involved her. Paula and her husband Dave had never lost the idealistic fervor that had once gripped Kevin and Lacey. Tonight would be the perfect opportunity to fill Kevin in on what their old friends had been doing. Maybe he would even want to ride into town with her, take a look at a project that really worked.
When he hadn’t rejoined her ten minutes later, she got up and went to look for him. He wasn’t in the kitchen so she walked down the hall and saw that the door to his room was closed.
She opened it a crack. “Kevin,” she said softly, as worry sneaked up on her.
After a moment’s silence, during which all she heard was the quickened beating of her own heart, he said, “Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
“Just tired,” he answered tersely.
His tone concerned her almost as much as the admission. “You’re sure that’s all it is?”
“Yes. Good night, Lacey.”
There was no doubt that he had dismissed her.
“Good night, Kevin,” she said, an unmistakable strain in her voice. She sighed and reluctantly closed the door.
She tried watching the rest of the old movie, but couldn’t keep her attention focused on the flickering black and white images. Finally she gave up.
In her own room,
