My breath caught. I’d never let myself consider the possibility of having children. Could I bring a child up in this life? Why not? My parents had done a fantastic job. Sure, their morals didn’t match cultural expectations, but they cared for us. Even though my mom hadn’t been super affectionate, I never doubted she wanted the best for me. Could I give that to a child? Would I risk the danger my children would be in because of who I was? Maybe.
“There’s nothing silly about your dream. It’s beautiful.” Could I be the man to fulfill it? Would I take that chance? I’d risked my life again and again. I’d stared down men who wanted to kill me and laughed in their faces. I’d been captured and tortured, and I’d survived it all, but could I give Henri what he wanted? If I couldn’t, wouldn’t it be best if I let him go? I wasn’t ready for confessions of love. I’d already bared too much, and I needed time to consider what I had to offer. We still had a week for me to fully stake my claim.
28
Henri
I couldn’t believe that after Remington had initially refused to discuss his family or profession, he’d confessed so much to me. I could use his secret to ruin him or blackmail him. He must not truly consider me a threat, or he never would’ve told me. If I tried blackmail, I’d never get away with it, and if I let his secret out, he’d kill me. I wasn’t going to do that anyway. He’d done the right thing, and why would I tell a secret that could easily get him ostracized from his family or even killed when he’d just listened to my silly fairy-tale dream for the future without laughing?
If only he could be the man in my dream. I knew better than to wish for that, and yet when he’d been inside me earlier, I’d felt like we were truly one. Our connection seemed magical, and I thought, really thought, he felt it too.
I cupped his cheek in my palm and rubbed my thumb over his rough stubble. “I want you.” That wasn’t anywhere near as much as I wanted to say, but it was what I knew I could get away with.
He kissed me. It wasn’t fierce and rough the way we’d been earlier. The kiss was soft, achingly sweet, and it made me long for my dream more than ever. As he kissed me, he untied my robe and pushed it from my shoulders. I shifted so I could drop it to the floor and straddle him. He licked and nibbled my neck as I pushed the waist of his sleep pants down until I freed his cock. I wrapped my hand around us both, which wasn’t easy with his size. I managed, though, stroking up and down, using our precum to make the way easier.
Remington groaned and held me tight as he kept kissing me. I worked my hips against him, rubbing our dicks together, even as my hand gave us the friction I craved.
It was wild and sweet and so full of genuine feeling. He wasn’t faking any of it. The way he looked at me with so much depth in his gaze, so much longing, so much need, told me he felt what I did. If only the world were different. If only our pasts weren’t what they were. I would cherish him and take care of him, his home, and his kids. I would be everything he wanted if only that were possible.
For the first time, Remington was the one who lost control first. His body shuddered as he groaned, clasping my arms tightly. Cum shot from his cock, and I used it like lube, smearing it over both of us. I kept touching and stroking him, wanting every last drop he had to give.
When he was finished, he lifted me, set me on the chair, and knelt. He took my cock in his mouth and sucked me until nothing could have prevented me from spilling into him and giving him all of me.
I looked down at him, a powerful dangerous man on his knees in front of me, and knew I was deeply in love with him. I’d known I wouldn’t want to leave, but I thought that would be because of how easy it was to be with him, how much better life was in his house than it was in my shitty apartment. I’d expected to long for him, but I hadn’t thought I would fall head over heels beyond any chance of recovery. Leaving him was going to break my heart. I would only have my memories to hold on to after enjoying every second of every day we had together.
I saw much less of Remington over the next few days than I wanted to, but I knew he was busy. I knew that his war with another family was quickly coming to a head. Despite all he had told me, Remington wouldn’t give me the details of the fight he was involved in. Still, I could see how tense he was, and I knew he felt a lot of pressure to prove his leadership abilities.
When we were together, we spent almost every moment in bed. It was clear how much he needed the release of stress. Sometimes he was rough and demanding. Sometimes he wanted to punish me, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong. I never protested. I wasn’t sure there was anything I would deny him. I loved every moment we spent together.
One morning, I woke to the sound of him playing the cello. The sadness in his music had tears running down my cheeks. When he returned to bed, he fucked me with torturously slow strokes until
