Rex led the way as they stepped outside into the crisp autumn air, tugging at his human’s arm because outside there were people he recognised.
‘Rex!’ said Station Officer Hamilton gleefully.
Of course, thought Albert, Dave 2 said the fire brigade were here, so it would be the local crew from just down the road. He threw them a wave that was a mix of apology for blighting their lives so many times, and yet again thanking them for their help.
Rex was bouncing on the spot with excitement. ‘Come on, human,’ he barked. ‘It’s play time. Look they’re all standing around bored.’
Albert knew what Rex wanted but held onto his lead tightly while he spoke to Dave 2. ‘Is it safe enough for Rex to be off the lead out here?’
Dave 2 looked around and then down at the dog. ‘He won’t run under the pan, will he?’
Albert looked at the giant pan for the first time. It was enormous. In fact, it was so big that enormous didn’t do it justice.
Seeing the old man gawp open-mouthed, Dave 2 grinned. ‘I know what you are thinking. It’s the exact same size as an Olympic swimming pool,’ he revealed. ‘Not as deep, obviously, the lip is only eighteen inches. If we can get the rise to anywhere near the top of the edge, I think we will all call it a victory.’
Rex nudged his human’s leg, bashing against the knee to make it fold.
Albert almost toppled, but the dog achieved the effect he desired. ‘You want off the lead for a while do you, Rex?’ Albert reached down to get the clip where the lead connected to the collar. ‘Just you stay close and stay out of trouble, you hear?’
The lead came free, and Rex darted away. He remembered the game he played with the firefighters yesterday when they threw a toy around for him. To his great joy, one of them produced a frisbee today and the chase was on.
Seeing his dog streak after the whizzing disc, Albert turned his attention back to Dave 2. ‘Who’s the chap in the suit?’ Albert asked, nodding his head at a man with a clipboard and a camera standing halfway down the righthand side of the pan.
‘That’s the fellow from Guinness. He got here about half an hour ago,’ said Dave 2. ‘If you are going to ask me what he is doing, I’m afraid I have no idea.’
The pan, giant size that it was, had hundreds of steel feet beneath it to support its great weight and keep it a foot off the ground. Underneath it were row upon row of gas burners, all rigged in lines spaced a foot or so apart. The fifty-five-yard pan must need … Albert did some math in his head and came up with a hundred and fifty or so rows. The entire operation must have cost thousands to manufacture just for this one attempt at a pointless world record. Not that Albert would label it as pointless out loud in his present company.
All along the left side were front loading dump trucks. Each of which held a huge container filled with batter. At the far end, Albert could see bakers carrying large buckets of batter fresh from the mixer. This was the last of it and soon the pour would begin.
‘How long will it take to cook?’ Albert asked.
Dave 2 scratched his chin. ‘A normal Yorkshire pudding will rise and set in just twenty minutes. This lot … I reckon it will be a couple of hours.’
Albert was keen to see the batter poured and watch what would happen when it hit the smoking hot oil. However, he now had a two-hour window when he wasn’t needed to do anything for the world record attempt and there was a mystery to solve. For starters, if Alan Crystal was missing, the first question to be answered was whether he had chosen to leave, or was, in fact, being held by someone?
All Frisbees Should Die
Just as he started to walk over to collect Rex from the firefighters, Albert thought of something he wanted to ask Dave 2. ‘I haven’t seen Suzalls today, is she not here?’
Dave 2 shook his head. ‘That’s why I’ve lost Dave 1 as well.’
Albert waited for Dave 2 to expand on his statement, but nothing was forthcoming until he prompted it. ‘I’m sorry, Dave. I’m not sure what you are telling me.’
‘They’re husband and wife, Dave 1 and Suzalls. He was here last night but took off at silly o’clock this morning. I’m not sure what it was about but his parting comment was, “I’m going to kill her.” I think maybe she was playing around on him again and he was rushing home to catch her. It wouldn’t be the first time,’ he told Albert like he was letting him in on a big secret. Dave 2 then puffed out his chest. ‘Of course, I’ve always thought that a woman only cheats if her man can’t cut it in the bedroom. No such problems for me, I can tell you.’
Albert paid Dave 2’s bragging no mind and started walking away again. Suzalls was married to Dave 1, not Beefy. So, what had he seen yesterday? The answer was obvious really, especially if the story Dave 2 told of her cheating
