I gaped at him, shocked he would make that leap so easily. The parts of Kade I had no idea about seemed to be calling the shots. And it had never been clearer that his charming persona was a shield designed to keep anyone from getting too close.
As much as I wanted to hang on to what we had, I’d still told him he was right, that I was leaving for Chicago. And I’d let him assume I’d meant to end our relationship.
My heart had been breaking.
I hated not sticking around to work things out. But my new job was waiting, and at least I wasn’t making Mom’s mistake. I’d get to follow my dream.
It was only afterward I regretted not fighting harder for our relationship.
But I couldn’t change the past.
Sighing, I watched Kade leave Mack’s Place. He wouldn’t let me in now any more than he had back then.
After locking up the café with a heavy heart, I headed home. Once there, I changed into clean clothes, and sent Willis a terse message telling him I’d contact him later to schedule another teaching session.
Then, with a big glass of sweet tea in my hand, I made myself comfortable on the couch before calling Carlotta. Beside me was the cryptic crossword I’d started solving this morning. One of the clues was Mad, Passionate Lovers. The answer was Bonkers, which seemed pretty appropriate.
“I’m not engaged,” I said when Carlotta answered. “I’m only pretending to be.”
“But you guys are getting on well, right? So there’s still hope?” I could hear a faint murmur of voices in the background. She was probably at the local theater where she worked as a director.
“Nope,” I said with a sigh. “No hope.”
“You sound depressed.”
“Kade dates lots of women, right? I’m probably the only woman in California he doesn’t want to sleep with.”
“Do you want to sleep with him?”
“No. Yes. Is it bad if I do?”
She laughed. “If sex is all you want, there are other men who can help.”
“None as good as him.” I sighed even deeper. “I know I’m being selfish and difficult, seeing as we already dated and broke up. And the reasons were broke up are as valid now as they were then. I should try and control myself. It’s just difficult, because he’s so… well, you know. He’s Kade.”
“Listen, Nat.” Carlotta sounded hesitant. “I’m not sure how much you already know, but Kade didn’t exactly have a great childhood. I know Mason’s struggled to come to terms with some of the stuff that happened back then, and Kade might have the same kind of issues.”
“You mean when their mother left their father and ran away to Mexico with all three boys?”
“Oh, so Kade told you about it?”
I glanced down at the crossword. Another clue leapt out at me. Rampantly sexy without a kiss—Absolutely! Huh. Even the crossword was taunting me. And the answer was Yes.
“Kade never said a word about it while we were dating. That was a big part of the problem. He wouldn’t talk about his childhood, or anything in his past. I hoped he’d start trusting me enough to let me in, but every time I asked, he’d distract me with… um. Well, other things.” My face heated as I remembered exactly how he used to distract me. “I’ve managed to piece some things together. I gather they had no money and sometimes used to go hungry. And their mother got addicted to drugs and died in Mexico. But that’s it. That’s all I know.”
“That’s all true. Their mother wasn’t very well. Mason told me about how hard she used to be on all of them, but especially Kade. One minute she’d act like Kade was special and lavish him with attention, then she’d turn nasty. Sometimes she’d lock them in the apartment and leave, and they wouldn’t know if she was coming back.”
“How awful.”
“The last time she left, they were locked inside with no food for three days.”
I put my hand over my mouth, picturing the three boys waiting for their mother. “That’s heartbreaking.”
“Yeah, it was a terrible time for all of them. Kade had to suffer through the worst of their mother’s moods, but Mason feels guilty he couldn’t protect him more, seeing as he’s the oldest. I hate to think of how they must have suffered.”
She sounded sad, and I felt a little uncomfortable she may be telling me things Kade or Mason might not want her to share, so I changed the subject. “Um. How are your rehearsals for the play going?”
Her voice lightened right away. “Fun. Well, every single thing you can possibly imagine has gone wrong. But I’m telling myself it’s a good sign for opening night.”
“I’m sure it’s going to be great.”
“I hope so. Hey, did you know we’re using one of the backdrops your Mom painted?”
“You are? Mom would be happy to know her work’s still being used.”
“It’s a beautiful backdrop. She was really talented.”
“She loved doing stuff like that.”
Mom could have been a professional artist, but she’d spent her life working in the café. If I could bring her back, I’d make sure there was a paintbrush in her hand, not a frying pan.
“The kids are supposed to be getting into their costumes, but I can hear a fight breaking out, so I’d better go.” Carlotta hesitated. “Listen Nat, I wasn’t sure whether to tell you this, but you know I spend a lot of time on social media? There’s been some blowback to your engagement news online.”
“What do you mean by blowback?”
“Just a few delusional fans who’re upset you’ve taken Kade off the market. Maybe they thought they had a chance with him or something. And some are probably bored trolls who think it’s fun to stir up trouble. You always get those.”
Dread was forming in my stomach. Several months ago, Carlotta had her own problems with internet trolls. One creepy guy even confronted her
