His fists clenched. Avery leave?
Of course she’d have to go with her cousin. And he shouldn’t want her to stay, he wished for distance between them… But the idea of her not being under his roof, that ate at him too.
What a fool he was.
He still stood in the doorway. From behind him, he heard a throat clear. “Excuse me, my lord,” his butler said. “Dinner is served.”
“I’ve lost my appetite,” Ewan answered as he too strode for the door.
Noah watched the man leave. He’d be eating dinner for one. He should be used to that by now, but somehow, the proposition had never been lonelier.
Chapter Ten
Avery turned in her bed and let out a huff. Despite the fluffy pillows and the soft mattress, she could not get comfortable.
She turned over again and then let out a quick breath of frustration. She was getting nowhere. Tossing the cover off the bed, she slipped on the overlarge dressing gown, wondering if it was Noah’s.
Cinching it about the waist, she picked up a candle and started for the door.
She wasn’t quite certain what she was leaving her room for…a book, just a walk, a chance to reset her mind and potentially fall asleep? But as she made her way down the stairs, she noted that the door of Noah’s study was slightly ajar, and he still had a fire burning.
The plush carpet muffled her steps as she made her way to the doorway and peeked inside. He sat at his desk, his head in one hand as he scratched his quill on a piece of parchment. Not sure what else to do, she knocked softly on the jamb.
His head shot up. “Avery. What are you doing?”
“I…” she started. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Hungry?” he asked, his head lowering back down to his papers. “You missed dinner.”
“The staff brought me a tray,” she replied, twisting her hands together. When they’d been travelling, she’d been comfortable touching him whenever she wished. But upon arriving here, the rules had changed, or he had. “May I come in?”
He let out a low rumble of irritation. He hadn’t sounded like that since their very first meeting. She didn’t like it one bit. “It’s late, Avery, and I’ve got a great deal of work to do.”
“Is that why you were late to the music room?”
His quill stopped scratching. “Precisely.”
“Oh,” she answered, still hovering. She hadn’t been invited in, but she didn’t really wish to leave either. “It’s just that I think we’ve a few things to discuss and this might be the only time we have alone.”
He dropped the quill in the ink. “You’re right about that.”
Relief made her shoulders droop. “So may I come in?”
He waved her forward, coming around the desk. “What do you wish to discuss?’
She frowned then. What did she want to say? “I’ve been thinking a great deal about many of our conversations we had as we travelled here.”
He leaned back, sitting on his desk as his arms crossed. He kicked one ankle over the other. “Which one?”
She hated the space between them. But he wasn’t warming. She’d hoped he might if they’d had some time alone. “All of them.”
His mouth twitched. “It’s rather late to discuss all of them.”
“This was a mistake,” she said as she looked away. He was shuttered off, closed to her, which was evident from his expression to his posture. “I’ll let you get back to work.”
He gave a nod and stood, starting back around his desk. This might be their very last conversation alone. Tomorrow, she’d leave with Ewan. And while he seemed convinced that Bash would force a match, Avery had known Bash to be a kind and generous man who wouldn’t push her into marriage. “Good night, Avery.”
“Good night, Noah.” She started for the door but when she reached the doorway, she turned to look at him again. “I hope you find the woman you’re looking for. To marry. I’m sorry it wasn’t me.”
He stopped then. “From the first, I’m not sure you understood what was happening here.”
That made her pause. “What do you mean?”
“Bash. Us.” He spread his hands wide. “Our match.”
She started back toward the desk then but didn’t stop on the other side. Instead, she moved around it, standing directly in front of him. So close, his leather and pine scent wrapped about her. “Explain it to me.”
He stood still for so long, that she thought he might not answer. She tilted her chin to look up at him. “Tell me what I don’t understand.”
“Our world. It’s not made for women to be independent. I’m not sure I agree. When I look at you, I see a woman who knows her mind, but I also see all the potential ways you could be hurt.”
She softened then. He was worried about her. “I’ll be all right. Bash will protect me if it comes to that.”
He shook his head. “He asked me to keep you safe, Avery.”
He reached a hand up then and traced her hairline, starting from her forehead trailing down to her ear. “But…”
“From the moment I stepped through his door, and then whisked you away from London, it was my duty to care for you.”
“You did.” His touch sent a shower of feelings dancing along her skin. She reached up to steady herself against his chest.
But the moment her palm flattened on the hard muscular surface she knew she’d made a mistake. He was so solidly warm under her hand.
He wrapped his arm about her waist, pulling her closer.
“Avery,” he groaned.
Was her name on his lips an admonishment? A plea? She didn’t know but she didn’t have the chance to ask as his lips descended over hers.
Noah groaned against her lips, loving the way they felt but knowing he’d made a mistake.
He was supposed to be maintaining his distance and had spent the last few days holding himself apart. But she kept finding him. And talking. And looking at him with
